When it rains, it pours — in the bedroom, that is. Venus, the planet of love, pleasure, and romance, has been resting in the deep waters of Pisces since January 13. With Venus moving into fiery Aries on February 7, the next week and a half is the perfect time to revisit the ways in which we can tap into our quirky, sensual selves.

I get it. You’ve been extremely patient in your quest for love, taking notes on what turns you on or off in a partner, and fantasizing about all the ways you’d like to be stimulated — mentally, emotionally, and physically. In the beginning of 2020, we were immersed in earthy, grounded Capricorn energy. This asked us to slow down and to be more strategic. But when Venus moved into Pisces this month, we began to see that patience pay off.

Over the next week and a half, your intimate relationships and sex life have potential to flourish and radically transform, but only if you’re willing to trust your intuition and let your heart talk. Pisces’ planetary ruler, Neptune, highlights our subconscious thoughts, dreams, and sensitivities.

The eighth planet also has a tendency to make us fall victim to others’ facades and illusions, though. Under Neptune’s influence, all boundaries are dissolved, and that could leave us open to manipulation and broken promises from others — or to deceitful behavior ourselves. 

Perhaps you’ve been faking your orgasms so good, your partner (or partners) genuinely believes they’ve been rocking your world. Or maybe you’re the type to talk a good game via text, but when it’s time to hit the sheets, you freeze up. While Venus rests in Pisces, honesty is the best policy. There’s the potential for us to have some of our most passionate, toe-curling sex ever — but that will only come from open communication. 

Pisces is widely known for its emotional sensitivities, which in turn makes for great heart-to-hearts. Now more than ever, you might crave foreplay before jumping your partner’s bones. You may want to spend more time admiring each other’s bodies or teasing each other — even tracing your partner’s tattoos or stretch marks with your tongue. Venus in Pisces wants you to honor the beauty in all things. 

Several recent transits have played a role in making this time such a fortuitous one for love. When Venus shifted into Aquarius at the end of last year, we began to open up to meeting new people and started scouting potential flings. We learned the importance of accepting others for who they say they are, and honoring one another’s eccentricity.

Then, as the sun moved into Aquarius on January 20, the energy in the bedroom got a little more risqué. Aquarians are typically known for their uniqueness, their spunky taste, and rebellious behavior. Nothing with an Aquarius is normal or boring. Combining Aquarian and Pisces’ energy opens up new possibilities. This is the time to experiment with kinks, explore threesomes or group sex, or maybe even film a sex tape, if you’re into it.

During this new decade, we can no longer make room for mediocre sex. Thanks to Neptune’s influence, you’ll be rewarded for keeping it honest with your partner. The ability to listen and practice vulnerability are two of Pisces’ greatest characteristics.

The need for forthrightness extends inward, too. Tune into what your body craves at all times. In the mood for an orgasm mid-day? Go for it!

Right now, Mars, the planet of action, lust, and aggression, rests in Sagittarius. This means your impulsivity and horniness is through the roof. Mars in Sagittarius wants you to acknowledge your inner freak and place her on full display. Yes, this includes sex in public — if you’re sneaky enough. But even a good ol’ fashioned quickie before work can give you the energy boost you need. 

Venus in Pisces grants us all the opportunity for our fantasies to manifest into the material world. That doesn’t necessarily mean the object of my daydreams (Michael B. Jordan) will appear to sweep me away (he’s sadly taken). But during this time, I can create the same kinky sex I envision having with him.

While Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto all rest in the sign of Capricorn, we must face previous struggles with a fresh mindset. For example, some of us may have chosen to withdraw from sexual activity out of fear of contracting STIs or making the wrong soul-ties. Both are valid reasons to take a break. But it’s important to recognize when we are limiting and punishing ourselves. Everyone deserves a chance to begin again.

Venus in Pisces asks us to keep it real with our intentions, trust our intuition, and have patience when exploring our new reality. Let your heart do the talking, but be aware of the red flags that you may be disguised under your rose-colored glasses. Still, don’t let your mind play tricks on you. No one knows what you desire more than you do. It’s time to own it.

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Last year, an invention that claimed it would revolutionize how we initiate sex went viral — for all the wrong reasons. The LoveSync consists of two small, silver buttons, designed to be placed on either side of a couple’s shared bed. If each person wants to get it on that night, they tap the button. If only one person taps, nothing happens. But if both do, the buttons glow, signaling to the couple to go ahead.

LoveSync’s Kickstarter campaign promised, “With LoveSync there’s no rejection, no guilt, and no missed opportunities.” But although the Kickstarter met its goal, many thought the invention was needlessly complicating simple communication. The product was roundly mocked and memed, and when the inventors presented the button on SharkTank earlier this month, all five sharks declined to invest. “Why don’t you just talk to each other?” one wondered.

Initiating sex really is that simple: Just talk to each other. If you’re in a long-term relationship with someone who’s comfortable with it, nonverbal communication — think slipping your hand under their waistband while making out — works, too. Consent is necessary, but it isn’t complicated. All you have to do is care about what your partner wants, and pay attention to their reactions.

Still stuck? Here are some ways to initiate sex.

Ask

As your parents probably told you when you were a toddler, Use your words. Ask, “Can I kiss you?” or, “Where do you want me to touch you?”

Get Romantic

Do those suggestions feel too clinical? Try something like, “I’ve been dying to kiss you all night” or, “I really want to go down on you.”

Use Dirty Talk

Asking for consent can be sexy. Think, “I want to f*ck you right now,” or, “You make me so wet.” Hot and effective.

Initiate Foreplay

If you’re with a long-term partner (whether that’s a spouse or a friend with benefits) and you know they’re comfortable with it, an action can work as a form of nonverbal consent. Think leaning in for a kiss, coming up to hug them from behind, or kissing your partner’s neck. If they lean into the touch, that’s a sign to continue. (Though again, if you’re unsure if they’re into it, you can always ask.)

Sext

If you have a date planned for later that night, amp up the anticipation by describes exactly what you want to do with your partner over text. If they don’t seem into it — responding “lol” to your detailed beej description, for example — take the hint. If they respond with steamy sexts of their own, that’s a green light.

Schedule It

If you’re in a long-term relationship and feel like you never have time for sex, talk to your partner and see if they’re open to scheduling it. Pick one night a week — or every other week, or once a month — and set a calendar reminder. Of course, if either of you isn’t feeling it when that night comes, you don’t have to keep to the date — but planning ahead will make sure you both have your schedules free and are in the right frame of mind.

Have A Bigger-Picture Convo

According to Psychology Today, studies indicate that everyone has a different preference for how their partner initiates: “Some people love to have clear, verbal invitations to sex; for them, talking is a form of foreplay. Others are turned off by the use of words; they would rather be turned on with a graze of their skin or a prolonged hug or kiss,” Petra Zebroff, PhD wrote in an article on the subject. 

“Some people love to lay their cards on the table, with direct requests or suggestions that leave no room for misunderstanding: ‘Are you in the mood?’ or ‘Get into bed now!’” she continued. “But others would find such directness startling, cold, or abrupt. Instead, they’ll talk about a preference for the seduction game, with subtle teasing or flirting that allows them to get them in the mood. One person may want to anticipate, think about, and/or plan for the event as their arousal evolves, while others find that their arousal erupts when they are surprised.” 

Don’t know which one your partner is? Have a bigger-picture discussion — one where you’re both clothed — and ask how they like to be seduced. Share what you like, too. If your styles aren’t compatible, you can always take turns.

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Kerry Washington seems to have taken a style cue from Little Women (and really, who amongst us hasn’t?). During an appearance at the Television Academy’s 2020 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony in Los Angeles, the actor wore an off-the-shoulder gown by Khaite featuring a black-and-tan plaid print, with a nude pink tulle skirt underneath. For her accessories, she wore brown heels by Christian Loubitoun, and minimal jewelry.

Khaite rose to viral fame in September 2019 when Katie Holmes stepped out wearing a cashmere bra and matching cardigan. We’ve been following the brand ever since; and with this prairie-perfect plaid moment, it’s official: We’re obsessed.

Stylist Law Roach styled Kerry for the special occasion, sharing an image of the outfit with a caption that compared the ‘fit to an India Arie song. Another post he shared of the look was captioned with the words “Brown Skin,” one of Arie’s famed songs. Kerry shared on IG that she was attending the event to “honor a hero of mine” — by this she meant Bob Iger, a producer. She said, “Without him, Scandal would not have existed.”

Known for her bold-yet-classic red carpet looks, Kerry recently wore a black skirt with a slit and an open black blazer by Altuzarra to the Golden Globes. The focal point of the outfit? A knotted, crystal rope chain that adorned her chest and waist. Presenting the award for Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy, the actor looked cool, calm, and confident as ever. 

No matter what she wears, Kerry is one of our favorite style stars and we’re keeping our eyes peeled for her next stylish outing. 

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A few months ago, I had a dream that my mom died. I woke up in a tailspin, sweaty, panicked, and on the edge of bawling. I knew it must have been a nightmare, but I still called my mother at 6 a.m. her time just to make sure she was okay. She sounded pretty cranky when she picked up, but hearing her voice that morning was more soothing than any Taylor Swift ballad could ever be. 

When someone dies in your dream — whether it’s a loved one or a stranger — it’s almost always upsetting, explains Lauri Loewenberg, a dream analyst. You might be wondering if it was a premonition. Probably not, Loewenberg says.

“Dreams are symbolic — you can’t look at them literally or you’ll freak yourself out,” she says. “Death in dreams actually means there’s some sort of change or ending happening in your life. To the subconscious mind, this represents the end of life ‘as you now know it.’”

The details of the dream can offer more insight into what’s really going through your head. The person you imagine passing is especially significant. “You are usually using them to represent a characteristic, or personal quality of your own,” says Ian Wallace, a dream expert and psychologist, in his book The Top 100 Dreams: The Dreams That We All Have and What They Really Mean. “Death of your loved one in your dream indicates that this particular quality that you possess is being transformed in some way. The transformation is often the result of a major change in your waking life where you have to let go of old habits and welcome new ways of doing things.” 

My mom, for instance, is super warm and nurturing. I am too — but I sometimes worry it makes people take me less seriously, so I try to minimize that side of myself in business settings. Maybe my subconscious picked up on that struggle.

The same is true for celeb death dreams. “I had a client who was having recurring dreams of being besties with Madonna… but she kept dying,” Loewenberg says. “I worked with her and we figured out that Madonna represented motherhood, not only because her name means mother, but because Madonna has quite a lot of children. My client was debating getting her tubes tied, hence the ‘death’ of her ability to become a mother again. Her dreams were letting her know it’s okay to let go of that part of herself.” 

The manner of death matters too. “A natural death represents a change or ending that is naturally happening. A murder will represent a forced change or ending such as if you’re cutting someone out of your life… If you are quitting smoking or drinking, you may dream you’re being murdered because that part of you is being killed off.” 

Wallace adds that if the dream happens in a hospital, it might mean you have “an unhealthy dependency on your loved one and need to be more responsible and self-reliant in your waking life.” A graveyard setting, on the other hand, indicates you’re subconsciously putting the past to rest. 

The final piece to consider? How you feel when you wake up. “The joyful realization that your loved one is still alive emphasizes that your connection with them is being reborn and renewed, and will help you forge an even stronger bond with them,” Wallace says.

For me, at least, that was true. After my nightmare, I could have talked to my mom for hours — though she politely requested a slightly later call time.

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After a month-long hiatus, Nikkie de Jager — better known as NikkieTutorials — is officially back to releasing beauty content on her YouTube page. This return comes two weeks after the Dutch makeup artist shared a video titled “I’m Coming Out,” in which she revealed that she is transgender publicly for the first time.

The new video is in the “Get Ready With Me” format, where de Jager talks to the lens while doing her makeup — but in this particular video, she uses the camera time to air her thoughts following the emotional announcement. “In this video, I want to clear up some questions that I’ve been seeing around over the past few weeks, and I literally just want to be an open book to you,” she says as she applies a pink and blue eyeshadow look, inspired by her recent symbolic manicure using colors from the Transgender Pride Flag.

After addressing the positive reactions and support she’s received since her coming-out video, de Jager changed the subject to the blackmailer who threatened to out her to the press, which forced her to come forward with her story earlier than she wanted to. The YouTuber urged fans to leave the investigative work to officials rather posting theories online and attempting to track down the perpetrator themselves. “We need to stop the witch hunt that I’ve seen going around,” she said. “You are destroying people’s lives that aren’t even involved in this. I ask you to stop this.”

She continued with a message to media outlets that have also tried to uncover the blackmailer’s identity: “I don’t think that is your story to tell. If anyone’s going to have the right to tell more about these blackmailers, it’s going to be me.”

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A post shared by NikkieTutorials (@nikkietutorials) on Jan 28, 2020 at 12:05pm PST

With that, de Jager revealed that, with the help of police officials, she has identified the person who threatened her and retrieved their contact information. She also learned that this person went after people she knows, adding, “I even know… how they treated people around me to get more information on my true story.” She goes on to open up about her own challenge in dealing with this information, and the question of whether she should publicly out them for their wrongdoing. “Everybody who does something wrong should be punished,” de Jager says. “I have the power to destroy a life.”

Rather than reveal her blackmailer, de Jager leans towards letting the positive outcome of her video serve as its own kind of justice. “If I out this person, am I gonna be doing the same as this person did to me? Do I want that?” she asks. “When I look at my situation… and everything that happened to me, that person has been punished.” She acknowledges that her experience is an exception as she was able to reclaim her power on a large platform, but urges those who don’t have that power of influence to seek help from loved ones and/or authorities if they find themselves in a similar situation.

Towards the end of the video, the makeup pro addresses one other concern, which is the accusations of her coming-out video being a publicity stunt — and how that led her to halt business endeavors for the time being. “I had been working on some really exciting future products; I delayed them, because in no way, shape, or form did I want this all to seem like a publicity stunt,” de Jager said.

Negative responses aside, the YouTuber brings it full circle back to makeup in the video, and assures fans that the objective behind her channel isn’t changing — it is, and always will be, “a love hub for makeup.”

If you are a trans person in need of information and support, please call the Trans Lifeline at 1-877-565-8860.

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New gender-inclusive emojis, including the transgender flag and symbol, are among the 62 new emojis officially approved for 2020 by the Unicode Consortium, the organization in charge of developing the official emojis of the world. Also coming in 2020 are an additional 55 gender and skin-tone variants, including Mx Claus, Man With Veil, and Woman In Tuxedo.

📝 Now approved: 117 new emojis for 2020 #Emoji2020 https://t.co/SojQuXZvv6 pic.twitter.com/sHp7GDsSal

— Emojipedia 📙 (@Emojipedia) January 29, 2020

There’s also Pinched Fingers (think chef’s kiss), Bubble Tea, People Hugging, Disguised Face (with mustache glasses and all), and Ninja among the full list of 117 new emojis. This list follows last year’s Unicode 12.0, which brought better representation of people with disabilities as well as more variation of gender identity and race within couples. And who could forget that controversial period blood emoji?

You can expect to see these new Unicode 13.0 emojis in action starting this fall, when Apple, Twitter, Facebook, and other platforms will begin to roll out their respective variations. Until then, you can use this “pinching hand” emoji to get your point across — no matter what, um, subject matter you’re referring to.

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In an emotional Instagram post, Vanessa Bryant thanked those who have shown support for her family following the death of her husband Kobe Bryant and 13-year-old daughter Gianna.

“We are completely devastated by the sudden loss of my adoring husband, Kobe — the amazing father of our children; and my beautiful, sweet Gianna — a loving, thoughtful, and wonderful daughter, and amazing sister to Natalia, Bianka, and Capri,” Vanessa wrote.

She shared that she is “devastated for the families who lost their loved ones on Sunday,” and that her family “share[s] in their grief intimately.”

“I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved. We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon,” she continued.

“I’m not sure what our lives hold beyond today, and it’s impossible to imagine life without them. But we wake up each day, trying to keep pushing because Kobe, and our baby girl, Gigi, are shining on us to light the way. Our love for them is endless — and that’s to say, immeasurable. I just wish I could hug them, kiss them and bless them. Have them here with us, forever.”

In honor of Kobe and Gianna, the Mamba Sports Foundation has set up the MambaOnThree Fund to “help support the other families affected by this tragedy,” Vanessa shared on the social media post. Those interested in donating can go to MambaOnThree.org. Additional information on the foundation can be located at MambaSportsFoundation.org.

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My girls and I want to thank the millions of people who’ve shown support and love during this horrific time. Thank you for all the prayers. We definitely need them. We are completely devastated by the sudden loss of my adoring husband, Kobe — the amazing father of our children; and my beautiful, sweet Gianna — a loving, thoughtful, and wonderful daughter, and amazing sister to Natalia, Bianka, and Capri. We are also devastated for the families who lost their loved ones on Sunday, and we share in their grief intimately. There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now. I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved. We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon. I’m not sure what our lives hold beyond today, and it’s impossible to imagine life without them. But we wake up each day, trying to keep pushing because Kobe, and our baby girl, Gigi, are shining on us to light the way. Our love for them is endless — and that’s to say, immeasurable. I just wish I could hug them, kiss them and bless them. Have them here with us, forever. Thank you for sharing your joy, your grief and your support with us. We ask that you grant us the respect and privacy we will need to navigate this new reality. To honor our Team Mamba family, the Mamba Sports Foundation has set up the MambaOnThree Fund to help support the other families affected by this tragedy. To donate, please go to MambaOnThree.org. To further Kobe and Gianna’s legacy in youth sports, please visit MambaSportsFoundation.org. Thank you so much for lifting us up in your prayers, and for loving Kobe, Gigi, Natalia, Bianka, Capri and me. #Mamba #Mambacita #GirlsDad #DaddysGirls #Family ❤️

A post shared by Vanessa Bryant 🦋 (@vanessabryant) on Jan 29, 2020 at 4:59pm PST

This post was originally published at 5:05 pm on January 29, 2020.

Days after the death of daughter Gianna and husband Kobe Bryant, Vanessa Bryant is using her Instagram to pay a subtle tribute to her family. 

On Sunday, January 26, Gianna, 13, and Kobe, 41, and seven other people were heading to Gianna’s basketball game via helicopter when the helicopter crashed in the hills of Calabasas. There were no survivors of the accident. 

In the wake of the tragedy, fans, celebrities, and athletes have come out to share their condolences on social media. Many messages were aimed at Vanessa, who has not publicly spoken out her significant loss. 

The Grammys, which were held on Sunday the Staples Center where Kobe’s former NBA team the Los Angeles Lakers made their home, also paid tribute to the athlete and his daughter. 

Vanessa’s Instagram went public on Wednesday after initially turning it private in the wake of the accident, and she changed her profile photo to one of Kobe and Gianna playing basketball together. She has not posted anything else, and currently does not have commenting available. 

Vanessa’s Instagram has always been full of family photos. Her last post was of daughter Bianka, who is three. Throughout the years, she has shared multiple photos of Gianna playing basketball, something that was a big point of connection between her and dad.

View this post on Instagram

Gigi Bryant class of 2024 #Mambacita 🏀❤️

A post shared by Vanessa Bryant 🦋 (@vanessabryant) on Jan 9, 2020 at 9:25pm PST

Vanessa and her husband started the Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Foundation, a charity “dedicated to improving the lives of youth and families in need.” On Wednesday, Shaquille O’Neal, a friend who played on the Lakers with Bryant, stated that he would be donating the money from his upcoming Super Bowl event to the foundation as well as the families who lost loved ones in the helicopter crash. 

“Together we will celebrate all those who lost their lives in Sunday’s tragedy. RIP my brother, my friend and my homie, The Black Mamba. Until we meet again,” O’Neal wrote on Instagram. 

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It will come to be known as the election that changed everything. Donald Trump, 2016 — in a matter of moments, the swift end to a political innocence gave way to the beginnings of a revolution, one fueled by shock, fear, and outrage. While many Americans had long fought against the systemic inequity in our country, for others, the nation they had thought they knew — one that recognized justice and decency — seemed to have vanished.

An urgent wave of demonstrations flooded the streets with a raw energy and demand for change that hadn’t been seen since the 1960s. More than 5 million people turned out for the nationwide Women’s Marches in 2017 — the largest single-day protest in U.S. history — crowds stormed the airports protecting immigrants, and people called their senators, canvassed for candidates, and fundraised for communities threatened by the impending administration. Many citizens, probably people you know, who had never made a protest sign before joined activists on weekends, lunch breaks, whenever they could, all in the effort to resist.

Three years later, that visceral energy hasn’t waned, but it has changed form. The activists who dedicated themselves to protesting in 2016 have since turned their focus to more targeted forms of action. The women we spoke with, who have launched or joined political organizations since Trump’s election, are using quieter tactics to achieve the progress they wish to see in this country, including fundraising, educating public officials, and signing up new voters. They are making change behind the scenes, rather than on the streets. But when it comes to resisting an administration that is diametrically opposed to the values of many Americans, it’s that quiet, constant daily work that often has the most impact.

The 2016 election made many women, especially privileged ones who had previously barely waded into politics, wake up and realize they needed to participate if they wanted change. They formed thousands of mostly informal groups, some of which are still thriving and some of which have quietly petered out, from crafting clubs that support progressive causes, to pockets of friends who meet once a month to “postcard,” which had suddenly become a verb, to digital activist circles that connect through newsletters, zines, and, of course, Twitter. Yes, there were thousands of activists already doing the work who didn’t need Trump to realize America is a bundle of systemic issues that will need decades to untangle. But the newly energized political activists, stumbling into consciousness in the early days with their safety pins and pink hats, were about to start the journey for themselves.

Women of all ages and political persuasions, but particularly millennials and women of color, have become more politically engaged since 2016, according to research by the nonprofit Barbara Lee Family Foundation conducted for a project on gender dynamics in the 2020 election. Almost one-third of women (29%) reported increased involvement, as well as 41% of millennials, 36% of women of color, and 35% of Democrats. We spoke with several of them to determine how they went from reacting to the urge to do something, anything, post-Trump to the quieter, more strategic efforts they’re making now.

After Trump’s win, the first thing actress Erin Darke did was email all of her friends and invite them to a consciousness-raising meeting in her Manhattan apartment. The group spent its first session — and its second one — crying and talking about how scared they were of what was coming next. Then, they made a list of issues they cared about, everything from climate change to immigration, and decided they were going to do their part in the emerging resistance by holding fundraisers for deserving, but under-funded, organizations. The group called itself Women to the Front (WTTF, an apropos acronym).

Darke played Cindy Reston on the lamentably short-lived Good Girls Revolt, a show about women in the ’60s fighting for equal rights in the newsroom, and says the show was “almost entirely” the inspiration for the initial meeting being a consciousness-raising session. Consciousness-raising, a political organizing tool used in the women’s liberation and civil rights movements of the ’60s as a way of examining existing power structures, first seemed anachronistic in a room of women raised on promises that they could do anything men could — and the certainty that Hillary Clinton would be president. A month before, Audrey Gelman and Lauren Kassan, two women around Darke’s age, had founded the women-only coworking and networking space the Wing, a much more probable meeting spot for city-dwelling 21st-century women with means. But now, they were afraid they had backpedaled into an era when their rights were less secure. At the same time, they craved the space and ability to talk out what on earth had just happened.

“I found myself on set, when we would shoot the scenes with the consciousness-raising meetings, realizing that my generation of women didn’t really do that, and that was really sad,” Darke tells Refinery29. “I like to think that one of the tiny silver linings that has come out of the shitshow of the last few years is that I’ve seen more women be supportive of each other and seeing that it’s not all feast or famine.”

WTTF quickly went from consciousness-raising to targeted fundraising. WTTF’s first event — a party with DJs, cocktails, and tacos at Brooklyn’s Union Pool in July 2017 — raised $15,000 for the only remaining abortion clinic in Kentucky. They then held a comedy night to raise money for immigrant and refugee rights featuring Sasheer Zamata, formerly of Saturday Night Live. “It’s joyful activism,” as WTTF cofounder Kate Dearing puts it.

Over its three years of existence, WTTF has raised about $66,000 for various organizations, with a membership of around 100, 40 of them particularly active, largely of creative professionals in New York City. Its next fundraiser is for New Florida Majority, which works to expand democratic rights for marginalized people in Florida, a swing state that’s notorious for voting-related scandals.

Amy Bettys, co-chair of Women’s Health and Reproductive Rights (WHARR), says her organization went through a similar journey to WTTF, its actions moving from protesting to educating local officials over the years. WHARR is a grassroots group in Brooklyn founded about a week after the 2016 election that works primarily on reproductive rights-related legislation and elections at the state level. Bettys, too, has noticed the change in women’s political involvement. “I would say that there’s not as much energy out in the streets,” she tells Refinery29. “But our activism has become more strategic and sophisticated. Yes, there has been some burnout, but we look at ourselves as a choir. While some are singing their lungs out, others need to take a breath. It’s an ebb and flow.” Currently, WHARR is working with local and state officials in New York state to bring awareness to “fake clinics,” or crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs), which have sprung up all over masquerading as legitimate medical facilities but push an anti-abortion agenda.

A key trend among activist groups since 2016 has been establishing political offshoots (labeled 501c4, rather than 501c3, for tax purposes) of their groups, which has freed them up to lobby for candidates. “You can’t do anything that’s partisan in a generic nonprofit organization,” Kandice Harris, the Midwestern regional director of Run for Something, an organization dedicated to supporting and recruiting candidates running for “down-ballot” races (and a 501c4), tells Refinery29. “I definitely see throughout the Midwest groups becoming more political. … You can build capacity by building awareness, but to get things done you have to have some kind of voice within your legislative process.” This is also why, she says, she’s seen a lot of former political organizers run for local office.

One thing such targeted activism does that protests don’t always do is help lift up the voices of marginalized people. Manasa Karthikeyan, 19, leads the graphics and social media for the George Washington University chapter of The Sunrise Movement, a national organization of youth to stop climate change that launched in April 2017. Although she has attended numerous marches, she says that she’s realized it’s her everyday work, like the campaign urging GWU to divest from the fossil fuel industry, that truly makes a difference in communities. 

“In the years since the election, I have realized that large-scale protests have their place and impact, but it’s often…grassroots efforts where everyone is taking action, and doing more than showing up one day out of the year for a protest, [that are] much more affecting,” Karthikeyan tells Refinery29. “In emphasizing individual people power, I think activism is able to move away from drawing in crowds due to celebrity presence, instead putting marginalized stories at the forefront.” Turning activism more localized allows more people to get involved, she argues.

Another factor that allows more people, particularly women and women of color, to get involved, is having the time to participate in political action, something that can feel like a luxury for those who work long hours or live far away from organizational hubs. After all, women told the Barbara Lee Foundation that their biggest barrier to political participation is, “I’m too busy working and/or taking care of my family.” That’s why it’s important not to overlook the ways in which these nascent groups have made activism more accessible for all of their members. 

Catherine Almonte, the managing director of The Broad Room, an NYC-based “activist training camp” for women and non-binary people that started after the 2016 election, says certain efforts to retain members have helped her group recruit more women of color. “We’ve shifted our gears toward building up our members in their professional and personal lives,” Almonte tells Refinery29. “A lot of it is noticing who isn’t coming to our trainings and why,” whether it’s because they’re stuck at work until 8 p.m. or live in the Bronx when the training is in Brooklyn. “That’s also why we’ve been doing events like ‘mommy and me’ canvassing, so people can bring their kids — it’s a pretty effective canvass when you have a cute 5-year-old with you, too.” 

As a result of a more engaged electorate, experts are predicting the highest voter turnout of the century in 2020. Ashley Spillane, founder and president of social impact strategy group Impactual and former president of Rock the Vote, says she believes 2016’s “big activist energy” will contribute to turning out the youth vote. “I see the tactics and the ways in which people are engaging changing,” she tells Refinery29. “You still see turnouts at town halls being really significant when the members [of Congress] go home. When there is something contentious being debated in Congress, the phone lines are flooding. Trump’s rallies are still very well-attended. Especially considering how far out we still are from the election, it has been an impressive amount of attention.” 

Of course, it’s difficult for activists who want to beat Trump to keep up enthusiasm with the deck often stacked against them. These days, Democrats often describe themselves as meandering in and out of hopelessness, temporary high of the midterms aside, disappointed over and over again but knowing that giving up would mean giving in. There is a persistent vibe in the air that well-meaning, left-leaning people have become jaded from three years of Trump, with scandal after scandal leaving the psyche numbed, but ever-more-brittle. No wonder research suggests that Trump has been detrimental to many Americans’ mental health, with clinical psychologists going so far as to pinpoint a distinct phenomenon called “Trump Anxiety Disorder.” It’s not a polite topic to mention around hardworking, idealistic activists and organizers, but some people are treating four more years of Trump as a depressing inevitability. 

Backroom conversations aside, those who started the fight in late 2016 and early 2017 are going to keep fighting. “Most people I know are in an eternal loop of losing hope and then finding that one thing that gives them optimism,” Darke says. “It’s been a long three years. I haven’t seen anyone lose hope entirely, but I’ve seen a lot of people, including myself, have really bad moments. But then, you get a little spark and are lifted out of it again.” 

And if it seems like some of the political fervor has died down, it’s only because the biggest showdown is yet to come. “A lot of people are saving their energy for the latter half of this year,” Darke says. “There’s a difference between becoming jaded and realizing you need to rest for the upcoming battle.”

Note: Julie Alvin, SVP of editorial strategy at Refinery29, is a member of Women to the Front.

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Welcome to Travel Diaries, a Refinery29 series where we tag along as real women embark on trips around the world and track their travel expenses down to the last cent. Here, we offer a detailed, intimate account of when, where, and how our peers spend their vacation days and disposable income: all the meals, adventures, indulgences, setbacks, and surprises.

This week’s travel diary: A 31-year-airline analyst uses points and job perks to book a solo trip on an Alaska cruise.

For questions, feedback, or if you’re interested in tracking your travel expenses during an upcoming trip email us at traveldiary@refinery29.com.

Age: 31
Occupation: Analyst for a major airline
Salary: $63,500

Hometown: Dallas, Texas
Trip Location: Cruise to Alaska
Trip Length: 9 days
Annual # Of Vacation Days: 20

Transportation
Cost: Since I work for an airline, we get major perks when booking airfare on almost any carrier. I can fly standby for free on my own airline and buy discount standby tickets on others based on distance flown and various agreements with the airlines. When I booked the cruise, I planned on taking advantage of these benefits, however, when checking the flights as the days approached, they became more and more full. I ended up using miles to pay for a confirmed flight (with a layover in Chicago) just to make sure I got to Vancouver in time. It cost me 12,500 miles and $81. I did use my flight benefits to book a standby ticket on the return Anchorage to Dallas for $61. Since I had a full day to get back home, I was not as strict about the timeline and had some flexibility. 

Total: $142

Accommodations
Cost: The cruise itself accounted for seven nights of accommodation. I paid $453 for the cruise. Norwegian was having a sale (they do frequently!) and I booked this trip about a week before it left and did not have to pay a single supplement fee (most cruises will make singles pay twice the fare). The actual cruise cost was $249 and the remaining $204 were taxes and fees. Another work perk is points that we earn for perfect attendance and recognition from leaders for going above and beyond. We can redeem these points for goods or gift cards, so I redeemed $200 worth of Visa gift cards and used them towards my reservation because it accepted three separate forms of payment. This definitely helped reduce my cost!

I flew into Vancouver the day before the cruise and booked an amazing deal on Hotwire for $166 total for a 4.5-star hotel in Downtown Vancouver, which was very close to the cruise port. After booking, it was revealed to be The Sutton Place Hotel and based on reviews, I was very happy with my booking. And since I went through Ebates for my booking, I get $7.80 back!

Total: $611.20

Miscellaneous pre-vacation spending
Since I only had about a week between booking and departure, this was a blessing in disguise because it didn’t give me a ton of time to shop. Since I was planning on doing some sightseeing, I picked up some insect repellent wipes ($3) because I have a bad reaction to bug bites and I also bought a selfie stick ten years too late ($5.) My roommate agreed to cat-sit for me.

I booked my excursions for the cruise just before departing. For Juneau, I found a whale-watching boat tour that I wanted to book and ended up checking Groupon and found it listed! ($141.75 plus 6% cash back via Ebates of $8.51, brought it down to $133.24.) In Skagway, I booked a sightseeing excursion ($136) that included a van into Canada and a train ride back to Alaska with a tour guide that came highly recommended by a friend that had cruised to Alaska before. Finally, on the day of arrival into Seward, I needed to arrange transportation to the Anchorage airport. There’s a bus for $70 or the train for $99, but that still left a full day in either city, so I opted to book all-day sightseeing and transfer bus tour ($176.55).

Total: $453.79

Day One

10:00 a.m. – Since I am leaving on a weekend, my roommate is off work and in town, luckily. I ask if she’ll take me to the airport, and since I know she hates driving, I offer to drive my car there if she’ll drive it back and leave it in our apartment building’s covered parking. I also have the toll tag to pay to enter the airport ($2) so we leave a couple of hours before my flight. I didn’t get to eat breakfast, so I pick up a bottled coffee and donut pack from the 7-Eleven in the airport ($5.48). $7.48

12:30 p.m. – I eat my food on my flight to Chicago. It’s only a couple of hours and I alternate napping and reading for the duration of the flight.

2:45 p.m. – I have just over two hours during my layover in ORD. I have to change terminals and I see a Garrett Popcorn stall and know I need to pick some up (I’m not a popcorn fan, but the Chicago Mix is a treat once in a while!). I buy a small bag to snack on over the next couple of days and a bottle of water. Bonus, they offer an airline discount! $6.71

4:00 p.m. – The flight to Vancouver is four-and-a-half hours from Chicago and I know I’ll be hungry again. There’s a pizza place near the gate, so I order a small deep dish cheese pizza to eat onboard. I also find a water bottle refill station, so I fill up my travel bottle. $8.91

5:00 p.m. – The flight boards and departs! I eat my pizza and have some ginger ale onboard. I then spend most of the flight watching the musical scenes from A Star is Born and reading.

7:00 p.m. – Flight lands in Canada and we have to go through customs. Luckily, it goes pretty quickly and I head to the train station to go downtown. While looking at the ticket kiosk, I see a notification that you can use contactless credit cards without buying a fare and receive a discount, so I just use my Chase Sapphire Visa to board the train. It’s about 30 minutes downtown and then my hotel is a five- to ten-minute walk from the station. $5.92

9:00 p.m. – Once again, I’m hungry and it’s started to rain outside, so I check Uber Eats. There’s a vegan pizza place a couple of miles away with good reviews, so I order a pizza and mac & cheese to have it delivered ($25.96.) While I wait, I take a shower and decide to walk down to McDonald’s to buy a drink. I order a soda and a protein smoothie ($3.12) to take back to my room $29.08

10:30 p.m. – The food arrives! The pizza is delicious, but the mac and cheese is incredibly disappointing and I don’t eat it. I try to watch Netflix while I eat, but I realize that the hotel charges for wifi and I’m not splurging for that. By the time I’m done, I head to bed and read my downloaded book until I fall asleep.

Daily Total: $58.10

Day Two

10:00 a.m. – I wake up and start repacking and getting ready for the day. Checkout is noon and I’m supposed to check in for the cruise between 12:00 and 12:30 p.m. I take my leisurely time getting ready, doing my hair, and just enjoying my morning.

12:00 p.m. – I check out of the hotel and pull up Lyft only to find out that there is no ridesharing in Vancouver! Oops! It’s only about a mile to the port, so I decide to walk and end up walking out with a mom and her daughter going on the same cruise. We get to the port and go through the check-in process. I lose them after checking in and head onboard the boat. First stop? Buffet for some food! Unfortunately, this makes me wary for the week because there are limited options for vegetarians and nothing really ends up being delicious.

2:00 p.m. – Our staterooms are available now, so I go and unpack my clothes. I hate living out of a suitcase for more than a night and there’s so much storage in this room that it’s nice to hang clothes up and have my things hidden in drawers. Since I am traveling alone, the two twin beds are configured together in a king-size bed below the big picture window with blackout curtains. There is a nightstand on either side of the bed and a vanity desk on one side of the room with a big mirror, drawers, and several shelves. There is a full-length mirror next to the desk as well. Opposite the desk area is a small shelf below the TV. The TV is wall mounted and can move around a bit, depending on where you want to watch from. Across from the closet is the bathroom, which is actually pretty big for a cruise ship cabin. The sink has little shelves up the wall on either side, where I store all my toiletries and there is a shower and a toilet behind separate sliding doors as well.  After checking the daily itinerary, I end up wandering around the boat, trying to get the lay of the land. I buy the social media internet package so I can have some sort of connection with people I know and meet with the internet manager to process this purchase. $87.50

4:00 p.m. – Emergency drill time! Every cruise starts with a muster drill so we passengers know where to go in case of an emergency. Afterward, I end up watching us sail out and enjoy the view of the harbor and mountains around us.

6:00 p.m. – Dinner time! They post the menus for dinner outside the restaurants, and I like the options on deck for tonight. The great thing about cruises is that food is (almost) all-inclusive, so I can eat whatever and however much I want and not have to pay extra. Service is great and I enjoy my meal. Dinner ends up being the dining highlight of the cruise. Since I booked so late, I ended up with “Anytime Dining” which allowed me to just walk up to a restaurant and get seated when a table was available. I requested sitting by myself, so they were happy to do that for me (introvert life!) and the wait staff was still attentive to just me.

8:00 p.m. – While walking to the evening entertainment, I end up bumping into a friend! We met a long time ago and I knew she worked on cruise ships but did not know she was going to be on mine. It is a pleasant surprise on a solo trip and I get her work number so we can meet up later. The evening entertainment ends up being little snippets of all the forthcoming shows for the week, including a comedian, a contortionist couple, and some singing and dance numbers..

10:00 p.m. – I am already tired, so I head back to my stateroom. I read a bit of my book and then go to sleep.

Daily Total: $87.50

Day Three

5:30 a.m. – The sun is already up? I wake up because of it and force myself back to sleep after tossing around for an hour. The whole long day/short night thing is going to be strange for me.

8:00 a.m. – I drag myself out of bed and head to the dining room for breakfast. I’m planning a lazy day, so I need to fuel up!

10:00 a.m. – After breakfast, I stake out a seat on the deck to read for a while. On vacations, I like to check out and enjoy some sort of rom-com type book (think Sophie Kinsella) and am reading Confessions of a Domestic Failure today. It’s a nice day, not too windy, and I keep one eye on the lookout for whales.

12:00 p.m. – Lunchtime already and I pick at a salad and some pizza.

1:00 p.m. – The restless sleep hits me, so I head back to my room to take a nap.

3:00 p.m. – I change into my swimsuit and decide to hit the hot tub. The perk of a cooler weather destination means that the pool and hot tub areas are practically empty! I end up chatting with a couple that is also from Texas for a couple of hours and enjoy the cool air and hot water. We have traveled to some of the same places, but are from different cities, and talk about our cruising experiences.

6:00 p.m. – Shower and change into nicer attire. Head to dinner. Tonight’s menu is Italian and I am a happy camper! After dinner, I watch the Not-So-Newlywed game show in one of the clubs. It’s a staple of most cruises and never fails to make me laugh. It’s based on the old-school Newlywed Gameshow, but they get a couple that’s recently married, another that’s been married for a really long time (I’ve seen more than 60 years!) and then a couple that’s somewhere in the middle. They ask each side of the couple a question about their relationship or their partner and then they have to match their answers. The questions range from “how’d you meet?” to more risque, about the most unique place they’ve ever “made whoopie.”

10 p.m. – After the show, I call my friend that works on board and asks if she wants to get a drink. She meets me at one of the bars where we spend a couple of hours catching up and I treat myself to a fruity drink. We people watch and sing along to the DJ before we’re too tired to stay awake. $13.14

1:00 a.m. – Finally hit the hay after a pleasant evening with my friend.

Daily Total: $13.14

Day Four

8:00 a.m. – Ketchikan today! None of the excursions sounded worth the cost to me, so today is a souvenir and exploring day, so I take my time to get ready and eat breakfast. 

9:00 a.m. – We have docked right downtown and the city is fairly small and compact. I walk along the water up to the Discovery Center, only to be informed that it is $5 today. I reach into my bag and realize that I left my wallet in the cruise ship safe and they will not accept any mobile pay apps. Instead, I just keep walking, exploring some back roads, and walking Creek Street, which is an entire shopping and living area built over a river! The buildings are beautiful and I wander along the salmon stream to see an old-fashioned salmon ladder. A salmon ladder is a structure that is built into a river, like a water staircase, to help young and migrating fish travel upstream to find better food sources or for mating. Unfortunately, no salmon are moving upstream today, so I just enjoy the pleasant weather and people watching. 

11:00 a.m. – I head back to the ship, stopping at souvenir shops along the way to compare prices. With so much overlap in vendors and availability, I have the time to really see which places are the best bang for my buck. And, since I’m flying standby home, I can check my bag for free too! I make it back to my cabin, pick up my credit card from the safe, and head back to the shops.

12:00 p.m. – First stop, a local(ish) souvenir shop. It’s a smaller place that also sells candy. Here, I pick up three magnets and four stickers for myself and some friends and some taffy to bring to my coworkers ($26.57). Next, I head to a chain of Alaskan souvenir shops. Overrated, I’m sure, but great for picking up gifts. At the first one, I get my friend a t-shirt (cliché, definitely, but she really loves cheesy t-shirts) and find a nice deal on a soft sweatshirt for myself ($31.93). Moving onto the next store of the same brand, I buy a couple candy bars (one for me, one for my friend who is impossible to shop for), a clearance shirt for the aforementioned friend, and a coloring book for my friend’s daughter (their kids are like my nieces/nephews) ($17.00). Next stop, a different Alaskan store, but with lots of local and homemade items and where I really find some gems. Here, I buy a bear knit cap for one of the daughters and three little waterproof pouches, made from Alaskan themed fabric, that will be perfect for makeup or travel bags ($67.05). I am planning on keeping a couple for myself and the third is a gift for my roommate for watching my cat while I am gone. $142.55

3:00 p.m. – After all the bargain hunting, I’m exhausted, and head back to the ship. It’s nearly dinner time, so I just grab a quick bite from the buffet to tide me over and head to the room to shower and change.

5:30 p.m. – I decide on an early dinner, and hit the dining room. After I eat, it’s time to enjoy a show and it’s the contortionists tonight. It’s a cool concept at first, but after about ten minutes of them doing the same tricks over and over again, I get bored and leave early. They have some talented entertainment, but the same thing on repeat is redundant.

8:30 p.m. – I wander through the duty-free shops and gift shops on the way back to my room. Mostly on one deck on this ship, there are shopping opportunities, like a gift shop with cruise specific items and branded Norwegian stuff for sale. They also have random necessities, like over-the-counter medication and some snacks marked way up. Other shops include a few duty-free stores, selling jewelry, sunglasses, perfume, and makeup. In my experience, it’s pretty close to the full retail price for anything at home, but you save on taxes. I am not one for shopping often, but sometimes there are cute clothes or jewelry available, so I check it out. Unfortunately, nothing strikes my fancy this time! Last second, I run-up to the buffet for a late-night ice cream cone and then head to bed. Once settled in, I get comfortable with my book and read until I fall asleep a couple of hours later.

Daily Total: $142.55

Day Five

7:00 a.m. – We’re in Juneau today! I have the whale-watching tour that was pre-booked for this port but doesn’t have to meet until 11:30 a.m., so I take my time this morning. This means heading to the buffet and finding a table with a view to eat oatmeal and read for a couple of hours. I end up on the deck in the back, enjoying the view in port and alternating checking my email (yay! full internet finally – even if it’s 3G!) and reading the news.

11:00 a.m. – We are docked about a mile from town and the rest of the cruise ship docks, so we have to wait in line to disembark and board busses into town. I am anxious waiting in line as the minutes tick by but manage to get there just in time to head to the meeting point for my excursion. The plan today is to go on the whale watching boat tour and then visit the Mendenhall Glacier. 

12:00 p.m. – After taking a bus on a brief tour through Juneau to the marina with some history shared by the guide, we board a catamaran to head out onto the water. The guides are really great, sharing with us history about the surrounding water and mountains and information about any animals we may see. Did you know that in the Alaskan water in the summer, if you see a whale, it’s typically just its tail when it starts a dive for food? This is opposite from whale watching in Hawaii in the winter when whales breach to attract attention while mating or stun fish closer to the surface for eating. However, as guaranteed in the tour, we see several whales! Our first view swims just alongside the boat, but there are rules about motors near wildlife, so we travel on and end up near a couple of smaller boats. Basically, we spend a couple of hours on the water alternating between watching whales swim and dive and blow air and enjoying the scenery and commentary. They also provide some snacks and water on board to tide you over.

2:30 p.m. – We get back to the dock and then board buses to head to Mendenhall Glacier. Mendenhall Glacier is a 13-mile long glacier that is retreating due to climate change and has created the Mendenhall Lake as a result. You’re able to walk very close to the glacier and observe it from several locations. I take a short walk to the viewing platform for the glacier and just sit and people watch and listen and appreciate the beautiful weather and scenery. After a bit, I venture inside the visitor center, where I view a film about the history of the glacier and pick up some stickers and a pin as a souvenir from the gift shop. Buses run every 30 minutes back downtown, so I decide to take a bit of a hike and befriend a squirrel before catching the next bus. $16.95

4:30 p.m. – The bus makes two stops, one in downtown proper and one closer to the cruise ships, and I decide to take the first stop and walk back to the shuttle. It’s starting to rain a little, so I’m grateful to have my raincoat in my backpack. My late breakfast has finally worn off, so I’m browsing local restaurant menus as I pass. Unfortunately, nothing sounds both good and worth the price for dinner, so I end up ordering a couple of scoops of homemade ice cream and taking the free shuttle back to the ship. $6.00

6;00 p.m. – After a shower, I grab dinner at the restaurant and catch the entertainment for the evening. It’s a sort of Cirque meets Glee Club show, but I don’t hate it.

10:30 p.m. – Since my plans for tomorrow start early in the morning, I head to bed and try to sleep through the night.

Daily Total: $22.95

Day Six

6:30 a.m. – I have to be off the boat as soon as it docks at 8:00 a.m. in Skagway to check-in for the sightseeing excursion, so I wake up early to get ready and eat. It’s another breakfast in the buffet as I watch the boat sail into port and drop anchor.

8:00 a.m. – After disembarking the ship, the check-in for my excursion is right at the gangway. I pre-booked a half-day of sightseeing that travels by van through the White Pass into British Columbia, Canada, and then takes a train back down the mountains. I’ve heard the scenery is beautiful and we get many opportunities for photos along the ride up. It’s also following the path that people took during the Gold Rush, trying to find new areas to excavate gold when times were promising, in between the winter weather. I manage to snag a window seat and an open row for the van up into the mountains. 

10:00 a.m. – The trip up to Fraser os incredible. We have a guide that is really knowledgeable and funny and makes the trip even better. We see bears cross the road in front of us and even pull over to watch them eat dandelions, which she says you rarely see so close to the highway. Just before crossing into Canada, we stop at the “Welcome to Alaska ” sign and take pictures there as well as over several turquoise and deep blue lakes and mid-rise snow-topped mountain ranges. We have to stop in Canada once through the mountains for a passport check and then continue to the train station in Fraser, BC. The city of Fraser itself is really just a train station where the train through the Yukon Mountains first meets up with the South Klondike Highway, but it is the last boarding point in Canada for the train back into Alaska and along the mountains.

10:30 a.m. – We board the train to head back down to Skagway and I basically fling myself into the last window seat on the side that my friend said had a better view. In the end, it does not matter too much as I preferred standing outside on the platform to watch the sights go by from both sides. There is a guide over the speaker on the train providing a history of the White Pass and the Gold Rush in this area of North America.

12:30 p.m. – Once we back in Skagway, I opt to get off the train at the first stop and walk to the port. All of the buildings and downtown look straight out of a Hallmark Christmas movie and with so few permanent residents, there isn’t even much car traffic to be worried about either! I’m craving some decent food for lunch and find a brewery/restaurant that has the Impossible Burger listed on its menu. Unfortunately, after sitting down to order, they have run out of both the Impossible Burger and the pineapple vanilla house-made vodka I wanted, so I opt for just their own vegan burger and a vodka cranberry. Despite the disappointment in availability, the food is delicious and hits the spot with what I’ve been missing onboard the ship. $26.00

2:00 p.m. – I spend the next hour or so wandering in and out of all the local shops. I pick up a mountain pin at a little souvenir store ($5.24) and the smell of freshly made fudge lures me in and convinces me to buy a sampler pack ($27.83). It is delicious and sweet and just what I like to eat at night before bed. I take my treats and slowly walk back to the ship, with many stops for photo breaks along the way! $33.07

4:00 p.m. – After an early morning, I take a nap and then head to dinner. Since I had a large lunch, I eat a smaller dinner.

7:00 p.m. – I decide to have a drink at the mojito bar on the top level that is floor to ceiling windows. I am usually a vodka-soda girl, but this entire bar specializes in mojitos, and they have a menu with so many creative options. I end up going for Pineapple Coconut mojito that is made with coconut rum and pineapple puree. It is delicious and I spend a couple of hours reading and enjoying my drink as we sail along the Alaskan coast and the sun drops lower behind the mountains. $13.14

10:00 p.m. – I fall asleep watching Inside Out in my cabin.

Daily Total: $72.21

Day Seven

7:00 a.m. – With two sea days ahead of me, I am looking forward to lots of relaxation and sightseeing. We are glacier sighting today, so I wake up and head to breakfast at the buffet and snag a table on the deck. Our cruise ship will spend the next two days sailing along the coast of Alaska, including into Glacier Bay National Park and around little inlets and islands, watching for wildlife and viewing the coastal beauty of Alaska. This is an unofficial perk of booking a one-way Alaska sailing (departing from Seattle/Vancouver and arriving in Seward/Anchorage, Alaska – or vice versa): more time to see Alaska and the coast. Cruise ships that sail round-trip from Seattle or Vancouver have to turnaround halfway through the week and don’t get to see much past the Juneau area!

9:00 a.m. – After I finish eating, I continue to sit on the deck and read my book and listen to the overhead speakers. Since we’re cruising inside the Glacier Bay National Park, there’s actually a National Park Ranger on board the ship that is narrating our journey. It is very cold at this point, so many guests aren’t joining us on the dock, but when ranger points out the highlights, there’s a rush of people from inside!  It’s very informative and she’s explaining the history of the area, how it’s been affected by climate change and the dim future expected for the glacial areas in Alaska and Canada.

1:00 p.m. – We get to see so many incredible sights. There’s a bear swimming alongside our ship for a short time, which even the park rangers are thrilled to see! The ship spends the day sailing into inlets and turning around, so all viewing areas from the ship can see the entire scene. We get to see the Lamplugh Glacier, Johns Hopkins Glacier, Gilman Glacier, Grand Pacific Glacier, and Margerie Glacier. The glaciers really vary in size and appearance; our first real view of a glacier was where the Margerie Glacier meets the Grand Pacific Glacier. The Grand Pacific Glacier is under a layer of sediment and dirt, so it was not particularly impressive, but it stands opposite the Margerie Glacier, which is one of the most viewed in Glacier Bay, spanning about a mile wide and 250’ above the water where we could view. It is light blue and looks like cave crystals all the way across. We spend about an hour in this inlet. This glacier also calves while we are observing, which means a large chunk of ice broke off from the glacier. It is so loud. We then proceed to another inlet to view the Johns Hopkins Glacier and the Gilman Glacier, which are attached at this point. These glaciers calve icebergs that spot the water and we see a few seals and birds hanging out on them.

4:00 p.m. – After we leave the National Park, I head back to my cabin for a nap before dinner. 

7:00 p.m. – Dinner is at the dining room again, with me and my book. Though I am very much an introvert and enjoy my alone time, this cruise has been testing that limit. I’ve gone on a cruise by myself before, but it was in the Caribbean, so the crowd leaned much younger, and there were a lot more activities onboard for entertainment. I am very glad I bought the internet package to at least have some sort of communication on evenings like this! I put on a new swimsuit to head to the hot tub, and for once, actually really like how I look in it. So, mini photoshoot in the cabin and I send a couple of snaps to my friends who try to support me and my negative self-image. Too bad there’s no crush to send a thirst trap to! Once I get to the deck, there’s a college girl in there already, so we start talking, and she’s on vacation with her parents. They join us later, and we have a nice talk about life after college and how I got into my line of work since she wants to be a flight attendant and I know a lot through my job!

11:00 p.m. – They shut down the hot tub, so I grab some fries on my way back to my room and fall asleep pretty quickly. Hot tubs can wear you out sometimes!

Daily Total: $0

Day Eight

7:00 a.m. – It’s another day at sea and my last day on the boat. It’s an early morning approach to Hubbard Glacier and I want to get a prime viewing spot. I eat breakfast inside (it’s so cold now!) and then head to an open deck to enjoy the scenery.

9:00 a.m. – The only announcements we get now are from the cruise director and captain, who just give us updates as to our location. While this is only one glacier as opposed to several in the national park, the Hubbard Glacier is the largest tidewater glacier in North America. The ship ends up taking a couple of hours to sail into the bay, make a full and slow turn, before leaving the bay. Since the weather is nice and there is not too much ice in the area, we are able to get very close and listen to the ice break off the glacier into the water. It’s loud and incredible. We see seals perched on small ice blocks and seagulls abound.

11:00 a.m. – The ship is now on its way to Seward for disembarkation tomorrow. We still get some pleasant sights along the way, but nothing compared to the sightseeing of the past couple of days. I eat lunch on the buffet and then watch some game show activities in a lounge for a couple of hours.

1:00 p.m. – Taking an early nap today!

4:00 p.m. – Since it’s the last night on board, I take my time to do my makeup and hair and then realize that the vegetarian menu for the dining room sucks tonight. So, I find a nook and cozy up and read for a couple of hours.

7:00 p.m. – Dinner tonight is grazing the buffet, which once again, is a disappointment. Some rice, cheese, and bread. There are not really any vegetarian-friendly entrees on the buffet throughout the week, which is frustrating. As a frequent cruiser, I can usually make do with a couple of options, but this ship, in particular, had fewer options than any I’d been on before. And I’d sailed on this cruise line twice previously without as many issues! Carbo-loading hard on this cruise!

9:00 p.m. – Last night of vacation means packing time. Since I do travel a lot, I’m fairly decent at re-packing at the end of trips and realize quickly that I will be checking my bag home and now have an extra tote bag to carry on with the gifts and clothes. I shower, get everything organized, and then go hang out with my friend as she finishes up working and just enjoy chatting to her and her coworkers in their retail space. She works with people from around the world, including Asia and Europe, so it’s nice to see how the view working onboard a ship.

11:00 p.m. – The invoice for the cruise is left on my nightstand during the evening cleaning, so I review the charges. In addition to the two drinks that I purchased and the internet package, I also confirm the gratuity charge. They automatically add $15 per person, per day onto the charges ($105). You can adjust manually at Guest Services, but I am fine with the auto-gratuity this time. I end up going to sleep since it’ll be a long and early day tomorrow! $105

Daily Total: $105

Day Nine

6:30 a.m. – Disembarkation day is always rough. It starts early, it’s crowded, and people are easily grumpy. Since I am carrying all my own bags off the ship, I take them to the buffet for breakfast. Last morning with oatmeal and pastries and powdered eggs. 

7:45 a.m. – We’re able to finally disembark the ship at Seward, Alaska. I am not flying home until after 8:00 p.m. from Anchorage, so I have the all-day sightseeing and transfer bus tour that I booked in advance that ends up dropping me off at the airport around 5:00 p.m.! We will spend the day on a bus with a guide as they share some information and history about the area, and making stops at Kenai Fjords National Park, an animal conservation center, a ski resort, and then to the airport!

8:30 a.m. – The bus picks up right outside the cruise port, so I grab a window seat and since I’m traveling alone, there is no one seated next to me. It’s a big, touristy bus, but the guide seems friendly and everyone seems happy to be there, so though I avoid group travel, I’m looking forward to what’s to come. I booked the transfer fairly last minute and at this point, I can’t really remember what’s on the itinerary! My phone doesn’t have great service once we leave town, so it’s a fun surprise. The bus ride starts with a tour of Seward, a tourist stop in itself, on the bay with mountains all around.

9:30 a.m. – We stop at Exit Glacier in Kenai Fjords National Park. We get an hour and a half to hike to the glacier if we want and sightsee around this section of the park. The trail to the viewing point of the glacier has trailheads with years on them, indicating how far the glacier used to reach in that year. It’s fascinating to see how quickly it has receded in the last few decades especially. Remember when I said I forgot what all this tour entailed? Silly me didn’t realize that there was hiking, so I am wearing flats and my outdoor sneakers are in my backpack under the bus. So, this genius gets to hike a couple of miles over rocks and a bit of climbing in Aerosole flats. But hey, we both survive! And the view is amazing. I stop at the gift shop to pick up a pin before boarding the bus. $5.95

11:00 a.m. – Our next stop is the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center, a sanctuary that takes in injured and orphaned wildlife. While some are released back into the wild, many become permanent residents due to their circumstances. It’s open to the public, so we get to see all sorts of amazing animals, including black and brown bears, moose, bison, lynx, porcupines, reindeer, and more. It’s a great pit stop for this animal lover and it’s nice to see people care about conservation everywhere.

2:00 p.m. – Our next stop is Alyeska Resort, a ski resort from the base to the summit of Mount Alyeska. We get a box lunch here, but as a vegetarian, the veggie sandwich is soggy and pretty underwhelming. I’m also starving at this point, so I inhale the chips and banana and toss the damp bread. Our tour cost includes a ticket on the tram up the mountain. After touring the base grounds, I take the tram up the mountain to see snow and the resort. Though the ski runs are closed for the season, the restaurant and bar are open. I get a kid’s meal here ($13.50) and sit at the bar with a drink ($9). After I finish eating, I walk around in the snow a bit and enjoy the view from atop the mountain on this beautiful clear day before heading back to the bus. $22.50

4:30 p.m. – On the way to the airport, we take the scenic route, including a stop along the Turnagain Arm with a view of Anchorage from across Lake Hood. Then, we’re dropped off with our luggage at the Anchorage Airport!

5:00 p.m. – I am flying standby on this flight home, so I go to the ticket counter to check my bag. She lets me know that the flight still looks good for me and takes my bag, though I’ve still got several hours to wait. The flight back home is scheduled to be about six-and-a-half hours long, and since I am traveling on my flight benefits, there’s no guarantee I’ll get a meal (and since I’m a vegetarian, no guarantee that I’d be able to eat whatever option I was given!). So while waiting at the airport, I pick up a candy bar and some puffed pea faux Cheeto-type chips to eat onboard if I got hungry ($8.28). My phone is starting to die and I am sore from my terrible choice in footwear, so I also opt to sit in those airport massage chairs ($5). I get 30 minutes of massage and they also have power outlets to charge my phone; very relaxing after a long day. $13.28

6:30 p.m. – The gate agent shows up for my flight, so I go to the counter to make sure I’m on the standby list and triple-check that the flight is still open. He says it looks great and he’ll be waiting until closer to departure to clear the standbys. I tell him thank you and find a spot with an outlet out of his way, but where I can still see what’s going on. Over the next hour, I see a lot of people get very impatient! There are other standby people that insist on asking him constantly for their status and paying passengers that have way too many bags who get angry when asked to check one. He starts to clear some of the standby people that were constantly asking him, but I leave him alone since it hasn’t even started boarding and I know I’m at the bottom of the list.

7:45 p.m. – Just before boarding begins, the gate agent actually comes up to me with my boarding pass and tells me to thank you for being patient. Looks like it paid off because he gave me a seat in premium economy! I’m able to board with one of the earlier groups, and I have a bulkhead seat with tons of legroom and space. It looks like a business class seat with a recliner and personal (large!) TV! I’m so grateful for this for the long, red-eye flight home and get comfy.

8:20 p.m. – Flight takes off and I spend the next six hours watching a couple of movies and I am even able to eat the meal offered. Don’t get to sleep much, unfortunately, but I took the next day off of work for this reason alone!

5:00 a.m. – We end up landing a bit early at home. I head to baggage claim to pick up my bag and, considering the long travel day I had, decide to treat myself to an Uber home in 25 minutes instead of taking the train and then an Uber to the closest stop (which would be approximately $11 and take over an hour.) $27.06

6:00 a.m. – I walk into my apartment, exhausted, and crawl into bed with my cat. Another wonderful vacation in the books!

Daily Total: $68.79

How did you prepare for this trip?
A co-worker that I’ve previously cruised with has been on a couple of Alaskan cruises before, so she provided the recommendations for the excursions that I did in Juneau and Skagway. I did cross-reference her testimony with TripAdvisor reviews and rankings to validate that her great experience wasn’t a one-off before booking. I’d been on a couple of cruises with Norwegian before, so I was familiar with the booking process and general cruise experience, so just the location and ship were new to me!

When did you book your flight? Do you think you got a good deal? I booked the flight with miles the night before I left. All my planned flights and backups ended up being full and United had one flight for only 12,500 miles and $81 (including a $75 “late booking fee.”) I figured that was worth calming my nerves and already had 7,500 miles from a trip to Iceland last year. I use credit cards almost exclusively for the rewards, so I had 5,000 Chase points that I transferred to United to cover the difference. For the return, the standby ticket is definitely a major perk of the job and you work in this industry knowing that your base salary may be lower than other industries as a result. I’ve received offers from other companies for more money, but since I take advantage of the flight benefits, it ends up being more valuable for me to fly for free/cheap. (We also have an amazing retirement plan and healthcare, so that doesn’t hurt!)

Do you have credit card debt as a result of booking this vacation? No, I had been planning on taking a semi-pricey trip during this month for a while, so I had been putting a bit extra in my savings account as a result.

Did you use credit card points/miles to pay for parts of this trip? 
I used points from my Chase Sapphire Preferred card to transfer to United to cover the difference between my accrued balance and what I needed to book the flight to Vancouver. It’s one of my favorite credit cards for people that travel frequently as there are no international fees and the points transfer to many major partners, both hotels and airlines. 

What was your favorite part of the trip? 
I think the sightseeing tour through the White Pass Mountains was my favorite part of the trip. I had a great tour guide on the van ride into Canada and the train ride back down was a very historical and fun experience. Skagway was definitely my favorite port so that the whole day was probably the best of the trip!

What advice would you give someone who is traveling to the same location?
Don’t book your excursions through the cruise ship! Norwegian offered excursions very similar to the ones that I took for a higher price and then you also usually have a more crowded boat or bus versus smaller, more intimate experiences. This is my general advice for any cruiser. Do your appropriate research with vendors and it will be worth your money and time. TripAdvisor is great for reviews and make sure to pick a company that guarantees you’ll be back on the boat and preferably has thousands of happy customers willing to support them online.

Is there anything about your trip you would do differently in retrospect? 
I don’t think I would go on an Alaska cruise by myself again. I have cruised and traveled solo before, but since it was Alaska, the demographic is vastly different than the Caribbean and island cruises and there was not much for me to do onboard. This ship, too, was one of my least favorites. The food was very unimpressive and there weren’t a ton of areas onboard to just relax and read in a comfortable setting. Since it was cold and windy out, that eliminated most of the deck areas, but nothing inside made up for it. Also, despite being an introvert (I joke about being a hermit with my friends!) if I had not run into my friend working onboard, I think I would have been very miserable for lack of contact with anyone around my age.

Would you stay at your hotel again? 
If you’re interested in staying in downtown Vancouver or taking a cruise, the hotel was in a really great location. The employees were very nice, but not having free internet is a major red flag for me. If it’s not a deal-breaker for you, then definitely check out The Sutton Place! Walking distance to port was a great win, especially in a city without shared ride services.

Is there anything you wished you had time to do but didn’t?
I would definitely go on an Alaska cruise again, but with friend(s)! A lot of people I talked to were staying for a few days after the cruise ended to do some camping, hiking or sightseeing at Kenai Fjords National Park, and that’s something I would definitely be interested in doing. But, I was limited on time off, so it’s something to look forward to next time!

Travel Diaries is meant to reflect individual women’s experiences and does not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

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