Serena Williams is the GOAT, and almost no one would disagree. But even the greats sometimes experience setbacks.

This weekend, the U.S. Open tournament came to a close, and Williams was, unfortunately, unable clinch what would have been her 24th championship. A win at this Grand Slam would have allowed Williams to match the current record for most championship titles held by Margaret Court, but Williams lost to Canadian tennis star Bianca Andreescu in two sets, 6-3, 7-5. 

As for what happened, Williams explained at a press conference that she simply did not play her best.

“I was just thinking, wow, this is terrible. You just gotta play better. I have to do better. I just couldn’t go down like that,” she said. “I honestly didn’t play my best today and I could have played better. That’s the only solace that I can take right now.” 

Indeed, Williams experienced much trouble in her match against Andreescu. She made a total of 33 unforced errors, double-faulted on break points three times to lose her serve, and put only 44% of her first serves in play. That was by far her lowest percentage at this Open. 

Perhaps one reason that Williams didn’t play her best was because she is still technically on her comeback tour since taking a break after having baby Olympia with her husband, Alexis Ohanian. The fact that Williams did not win might just suggest that she needs more time. After all, Williams’ birthing process was traumatic on her body. Coming back so soon is another testament to how great of a player she is.

While Williams’ legacy is set in stone no matter what her future performances hold, Andreescu appears to also have a bright future ahead of her. This was her first appearance at the U.S. Open and she not only clenched her first Grand Slam title ever, but also brought home Canada’s first Grand Slam title in history, The New York Times reports.

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Meghan Markle is a fashion darling. She guest-edited the September issue of British Vogue, is designing a line of workwear for charity, and even convinced Anna Wintour to consider changing up her floral dress and indoor sunglasses routine. But the Duchess of Sussex also rocks affordable clothing and accessories, and is a noted J.Crew fan. She recently attended the U.S. Open to watch bestie Serena Williams compete, and her tennis outfit is making waves for the best reason — because it’s on sale.

Meghan wore a denim dress and light gray sweater jacket, both from J.Crew, reports Fashionista. The denim shirtdress features white contrast stitching and includes a belt, while the jacket fits breezily over the shoulder and is meant to be worn open. If you’re interested in copping the duchess’ style, the jacket retails for $148 and comes in a few colors. Unfortunately, the denim dress has sold out — likely due to the Meghan effect — but the brand has a similar belted denim dress left in stock. It’s $128, and you can score 40% off both those retail prices using the code SHOPMORE.

As for her necklace, it’s also affordable! The Daily Mail reports that her delicate dog tag necklace is a lovely reference to her family, Prince Harry and baby Archie, with an “H” and “A” embossed in the charms. It’s made by Mini Mini, and the dog tags are made of yellow 14-karat-gold and the tiniest diamond. You can also opt for white gold; both metal choices retail for $250. Extra individual Mini Mini dog tag pendants cost $145, and are available in yellow, white, and rose gold.

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we’re tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We’re asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: an assistant media buyer negotiator working in advertising/ marketing who makes $40,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on bras.

Occupation: Assistant Media Buyer Negotiator
Industry: Advertising/Marketing
Age: 23
Location: New York, NY
Salary: $40,000 (+ about $3,000 in overtime)
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,372
Gender Identity: Woman

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,395 (I have the flex room in a one-bedroom.)
Student Loan: $185 (My parents cover this.)
401(k): $100 per paycheck
Health Insurance: $26.48
MetroCard: $75
Wi-Fi: $40
Electricity: $40 (in the summer)
Renter’s Insurance: $5
Gym Membership: $49.99
Netflix: $0 (on my parents’ account)
MealPal: $83
Savings: I try to save $100-$150 a month.

Day One

5:30 a.m. — I wake up at my sister’s apartment in Philly, since I went to my family’s beach house for the weekend at the Jersey Shore and thought it would be easier to take a bus in the morning and head straight to work than schlep to the city on a Sunday. I buy a Greyhound bus ticket and hop on the 6:30 a.m. bus, which isn’t crazy crowded. $11

9:30 a.m. — I get into work and catch up with my friend/coworker L., who is also an assistant. She just got back from Italy, and I can’t wait to hear about her trip. I head to the kitchen, make a coffee and grab an apple, and I suddenly get requests from my coworkers to make my special coffee. It’s a shot of espresso over ice with unsweetened almond milk. Yum. Where are my tips?

1 p.m. — I head to my gynecologist appointment for an annual checkup, which is, thankfully, close to my office. I had to get a new doctor since I moved to New York in January. She has a nice office and is definitely a great doctor — shocker considering the office’s health-insurance policy. After my appointment, I head to Dr Smood to pick up the MealPal that I reserved earlier today. The meal is a lot cheaper and a game-changer — instead of paying $11 for a salad, it comes out to be $6.50 on a subscription service, which is included in my monthly expenses above and, not to mention, is one of the best lunches I’ve had so far.

6 p.m. — I head out of the office, lugging all my bags from the weekend. On my way to the subway, I stop at Starbucks and grab an iced coffee with almond milk. I desperately need a pick-me-up, since I am headed to yoga and need all the caffeine I can get my hands on due to that early bus. I need to kill some time, so I stop in Lively to check out their bra selection. Very cute bras, but the sales girl fitted me completely wrong. After trying on some bras, I check the time and bolt to yoga. Plot twist: I meet F., a guy whom I have been on a couple of dates with, at hot yoga, which I begged him to do with me. It was his first class, and he was so nervous that I saw sweat dripping down before we even entered the heated room. I bought a package earlier in the month, so I use that to pay for this class. $3.64

7:15 p.m. — We finish up the class and he walks me home, just a hug goodbye since we are both sweaty. I head home quickly to shower. The Bachelorette finale is on, and it is a very important tradition of mine to go to my best friend, B.’s, apartment every Monday to watch it. We have been friends since we were eight and always have the best time watching it together. I get a request to pick up whipped cream at 7-Eleven, since one of her roommates made amazing brownies. This better be a new part of our tradition. I’m so excited for those brownies. I stop at Pastafina, a pizza shop, and grab a large chicken Caesar salad (I ordered on Ritual, so it was cheaper than it usually is since they gave me a promotion code; it’s safe to say that I love a good deal). $13.09

11 p.m. — I head home from her apartment. She only lives two blocks away, which is convenient, especially after our late-night Bachelorette viewing parties. When I get home I catch up with my roommate, whom I haven’t seen all weekend. She tells me that she is going to the same concert as me on Thursday night, Khalid. Surprise! I’m so excited that she’s going; it’s going to be such a fun concert. When I finally calm down from the excitement, I get in my pajamas, unpack my bags from my weekend at the beach, and sadly set my alarm. After a busy but very fun day, F. texts me a sweet message of how he really liked the class and that he appreciated me pushing him to do it with me. What a great way to end this day. I smile and pass out.

Daily Total: $27.73

Day Two

7:30 a.m. — I wake up before my alarm clock and head to the bathroom to do my morning routine. I take out my retainers (yes, I still wear them), brush my teeth, and wash my face with this new face wash that I recently ordered from Amazon. On my way back from the bathroom, I head to the kitchen and find that I only have one egg left in the carton, womp womp. I tell myself that I need to head to Trader Joe’s soon. I make the one egg over-easy and let it cool as I get changed for the day. I put on a black dress and a black-and-white headband. I down the egg and head out the door with my AirPods in my ears.

8:10 a.m. — I am inches away from my favorite Starbucks destination in the city when L. (my coworker who just got back from Italy) texts me asking if I’m walking to work. We only live three blocks from each other, so I know she’s close enough. She mobile orders and meets me at Starbucks. With coffees in hands, we walk to work but hit the park before heading in. It’s nice to chat and people-watch before sitting in front of a computer screen for eight straight hours. $2.99

12:10 p.m. — We are hungry! I go on my MealPal and order my meal from a new spot. Chicken teriyaki and miso soup sound good. It’s super hot outside, but the office is an ice box, so walking outside and some hot soup is super nice. We scarf down our lunches and head back to work. Hopefully, this meal will keep me full until dinner, but no promises there.

6 p.m. — I head out to a sweat lodge called Shape House, which I am excited to try. The classes are usually $75 for an hour of sweating and watching Netflix, but I found a Groupon deal for $39, bingo! I walk to Flatiron and watch the show You while I create a pool of sweat — pretty cool idea. $39

8:30 p.m. — I finish up the sweat session, shower there, and Ritual order a salad ($5.33, 50% off on Ritual when it is your first time). I feel ten pounds lighter and good. I head to B.’s again for the second night of the finale. The Bachelorette is a nine-month commitment out of the year, and we are here for every second of it. We all gasp at Hannah’s decisions and cannot wait for Bachelor in Paradise to start next week. $5.33

11 p.m — I walk back to my apartment while Hannah’s decisions run through my mind — what a drama-filled season, as Chris Harrison would say. I walk into my roommate having a panic attack because she saw a cockroach on her bed, and now it is out of sight. I’m scared, but since I am the dad of the household, I grab the Raid and search around. I find this sucker dead underneath her nightstand. I sweep it up and flush it down the toilet. I do my nightly routine, filled with retainers and my favorite watermelon nighttime face mask, and hit the pillow HARD, trying to not think that cockroaches might be in my bed right now — New York City in the summertime is quite wonderful!

Daily Total: $47.32

Day Three

7:30 a.m. — I wake up before my alarm, but slept like a baby thanks to the sweat lodge. No more eggs in the house, but I remember that they put out bananas and peanut butter in the kitchen, and they go quickly, so I get changed and head out the door. I decide to walk again to work and text my other friend how last night went; she went over to a guy’s apartment, and I am a fan. I walk to work and admire the yoga class that is going on in the park.

8:45 a.m. — A banana is in the kitchen awaiting my arrival, so I spoon some peanut butter on my plate and head to my desk to munch it down — boy, am I hungry today. I catch up on emails, make my special coffee (didn’t want to spend $ on Starbucks today), and wish I was outside because this office is always so cold. I look down at my phone and see that my dad Venmoed me $180, $90 for dinner that he owed me when we were at the beach and $90 for a bet I won. That was a satisfying “transfer to bank.”

12 p.m. — B. texts me saying that she and her roommates are seeing the new movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood tonight, and there is one more seat available next to them. I whip out my credit card, punch in my information, and book the seat next to them for an 8:30 p.m. showing. It works out because I have to let another friend, Z., into my apartment after work. She’s sleeping over because she has a makeup job tomorrow morning right by my apartment, and she is moving out of her place today — I’m such a good friend. $18.99

6 p.m. — Before leaving work, I quickly book a round-trip bus ticket for two weekends. I am going to my parents’ beach house and want to make sure I book it now before prices increase. I leave work and stop at Lively again just to try on a better-sized bra and hope for a better saleswoman to help me out. I leave a half hour later with two new bras (two for $60, good deal) and stop by a shoe store that’s closing and snag Steve Madden sneakers for $19.99. I meet Z. in front of my apartment and we give each other a big hug, always good to see her. My friends have to cancel on the movie because one was working late. Thank God I get a refund. I text F. to come hang, and he stops by to drop off leftover dessert from dinner that night, warm beignets with powdered sugar on top, yum. I go to bed next to Z. and prepare for a big day tomorrow. $79.99

Daily Total: $79.99

Day Four

6:45 a.m. — I wake up on my own to a text from my friend K. saying that she is almost to the city and is going to start walking over to my place. I am so excited to see her! Z. wakes up and starts getting ready for her makeup job that day. K. says she is here, and I give her the biggest hug ever. We catch up and I tell her the instructions with my key. I have to head to work all day, and then I am going straight to the Khalid concert, so she is on her own, but is meeting our other friends that night to surprise B. I head out the door and meet L. at Starbucks to prepare for our morning walk to work.

8:15 a.m. — I have 52 stars on my Starbucks rewards, score. I have them give me a venti hot coffee (they don’t do iced for 50 stars) and then give me a cup of ice, such a hassle. L. and I walk to work and stop to grab wine at Trader Joe’s on the way. We get there at 8:52 a.m., but they don’t open until 9, ugh. I grab the cheapest twist-off for my at-work pregame. $6.52

12:15 p.m. — Lunch time! I head to European Wax Center, get a lip wax, and tip the girl 15% ($16.60). I pick up my MealPal — today is a BBQ chicken salad, my favorite from Just Salad. I head back to the office for the afternoon, counting down the seconds until Khalid. $16.60

6 p.m. — I dart out of the office with a couple of cups of wine in me and a to-go cup in my hand. I head uptown to meet B. and my other friend Y. for the concert outside of MSG. B. tells me how surprised she was that K. came in — success! Doors open at 6:30 and the concert starts at 7:30. I. Am. Ready.

11 p.m. — The concert is over — he is just so talented. I walk home from MSG with my two friends and head to the Gem, a local bar, because K. texted me that she was there with our college friend. We hang out there for a little, and then I head home and go to bed right away.

Daily Total: $23.12

Day Five

9 a.m. — K. and I wake up and pack a bag for Long Island. B. is having a birthday weekend celebration with all our friends, including M., who is coming in from D.C. We leave my apartment and grab bagels and iced coffees at one of my favorite bagel shops. $11.43

10 a.m. — We meet M. at the LIRR and buy round-trip tickets to the island. $20.50

11 a.m. — B. picks us up from the station, and we head to her place to eat pizza and salad for lunch, which she provided, thank God. We wait until everyone arrives and then hop in the car to head to a wine stand in the Hamptons, blasting Ariana Grande on the way there.

2 p.m. — I split the infamous Summer in a Bottle ($18.33) with two friends, and we drink wine while overlooking the vineyard. We get tipsy as the sun goes down and head back to her house for a fun night with games. $18.33

Daily Total: $50.26

Day Six

8:30 a.m. — I wake up next to my good friends from college — we cannot sleep past 9 a.m., since we are working women and are so used to waking up early. I head out to grab coffee before everyone wakes up. I head back to the house and find that B. ordered all of us bagels, so we munch down on those. $3.05

11 a.m. — We all head out to the shops. B. mentions that there is a sale at Ruby and Jenna, a cute boutique-style store. I find a long skirt on sale and swipe my cc ($31.69). We head back to B.’s house and prep for a pool day. $31.69

1 p.m. — We hang out by her pool with all of our friends from college, and B.’s friends from high school and play music.

5 p.m. — Everyone showers and gets ready for a fun night ahead of us. We eat leftover Indian food and pizza for dinner and start drinking.

7 p.m. — We head to a cool bar that is about 30 minutes away called the Salt Shack. It’s a beach bar that has live music. I pregamed way too hard, so I just drink water at the bar. I end up falling asleep on the table, oops. We order an Uber back home. $22.50

Daily Total: $57.24

Day Seven

8:30 a.m. — I wake up and wake all of my friends up because we are catching a 9:14 a.m. train back into the city. We say bye to B. as she is leaving for med school the next day. I pop into Dunkin’ Donuts to grab a water bottle — hungover girl problems. $3.54

1 p.m. — I finish up my laundry while K. leaves to meet up with her friend for a little. I text my friend’s brother to ask if I can get into a 2 p.m. SoulCycle class. He works for them and can get me on the wait list when he works. He gives me the go, and I get changed and head to the Upper East Side for the free class.

3 p.m. — I leave the class very sweaty, with more energy than I had before. I spot a Juice Generation and grab a Mr. Greengenes smoothie — my favorite. I text my best friend from high school and meet her at Central Park, where we catch up. I haven’t seen her in two weeks, so it’s nice to meet up. I drop a pin to K., and she meets us in the park. $9.74

5 p.m. — K. and I walk back to my place. I make plans with a few camp friends to have dinner, so K. and I stop at Chop’t to grab salads for everyone. $13.50

8 p.m. — We all take a walk to Madison Square Park and sit under the lights at Shake Shack. I haven’t showered from my workout class, so I feel gross. K. and I head back to my apartment, where I catch up with my roommate, shower, and fall right to sleep. Another weekend in the books.

Daily Total: $26.78

Calling All College Students! Have you always wanted to do a money diary? Well, this is your chance! We’re doing a special series of college diaries, and we want to feature you. If you’re interested, send us an email telling us a bit about yourself, with the subject line “College Diary.”

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Jennifer Lopez’s hair and beauty routine have been carefully honed over many years. Lopez rarely deviates from her signature nude lip and honey-brown hair; it rounds out her “J.Lo glow.” So when Lopez experiments with her beauty look, like she did on the red carpet for the Hustlers premiere, we take notice.

Lopez debuted her dazzling new straw blonde highlights at the Toronto International Film Festival, where Hustlers is premiering. Her hair is so shiny it can be seen from outer space, and the texture is as straight as a ruler. Lopez is also wearing a buttercup yellow gown (low-cut, of course, it’s her 20-year-old fashion power move) that brightens up her new blonde hair even more — it appears to shimmer as the dress’ yellow tone reflects off her lob-length hair. Consider our necks fully stepped on.

Celebrity stylist Chris Appleton, who has styled the likes of Kim Kardashian West, was responsible for crafting Lopez’ sleek, glossy ‘do. For starters, he used Color Wow products to style and protect Lopez’ newly colored hair. Appleton began by dampening and sectioning Lopez’s hair, then applying the Color Wow Anti-Humidity Hair Treatment to avoid frizziness while she worked the carpet. With the cult-favoriteDyson Supersonic professional hair dryer, he blew-dry her hair downwards. Next, Appleton achieved that pin-thin straight texture with a flat iron and the Color Wow Style on Steroids Texturizing Spray, which protects her color-treated hair. But the secret ingredient is the Pop & Lock Gloss Treatment: he applied it as a finishing product, to impart shiny hold to Lopez’ hair. Those super-straight layers are not moving.

There is a lot of product out there — some would say too much. At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team, but if you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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When she was 16 years old and struggling with suicidal thoughts, Lizzie (not her real name) began seeing a therapist in her home state of Arizona. During weekly appointments, Lizzie told the counsellor about her “deep depression” and her previous attempt to end her life – desiring, as many do, to be as “open” as possible with her mental healthcare professional.

If you search this therapist online now, the very first thing you will see is a damning rating underneath his name. A single Google review has earned the therapist in question one star out of a possible five.

That review was written by Lizzie nearly a decade after she first visited this therapist as a teen. Now 25 and working as a stripper, Lizzie says dealing with this therapist made her “hesitant to ever seek help again” because it left her thinking “therapy was useless”. Lizzie says the therapist laughed at her and was condescending to her as a teenager, asking her outright how bad a 16-year-old child’s problems could be before ending their sessions because he felt she was “fine”.

“My mum randomly brought him up – I hadn’t thought about him in years – and while we were reminiscing, I felt a lot of old emotions resurface,” Lizzie says when asked why she left a one-star review, nine years on. “I just didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. I didn’t want anybody to deal with the invalidation and embarrassment of pouring your feelings into someone who would be condescending about it.”

Today, there is a host of ways for patients to critique mental healthcare professionals online, from Yelp or Google reviews like Lizzie’s to feedback left on specialist platforms like Zocdoc, Healthgrades or Vitals.com. It’s easier than ever for patients to make their opinions heard, meaning the industry is becoming more accountable. Which, when you think about how important therapy and counselling can be during a time of crisis, is a good thing.

Scrolling through poorly reviewed therapists can make online reviewing seem like a powerful tool – there is one counsellor and psychiatrist in New York with 27 one-star Yelp reviews who is described as “terrible”, “awful” and a “public health risk”. Reviewers report that she forgot their name mid-session, interrupted them and acted bored. “AVOID AT ALL COSTS,” one patient wrote in February. Perhaps these reviewers could be saving other people not only from wasting their money but from putting themselves in a situation which could actually make them feel worse.

Yet while reviews like these are necessary in extraordinary circumstances, professionals claim that patient reviews can cause a number of problems in practice. In 2011, Bay Area psychologist Dr Keely Kolmes wrote an opinion article for The New York Times in which they lamented how online reviews harm both the health provider and patients. Not only can poor reviews damage a therapist’s business, they can also put off patients who might have otherwise found their ideal therapist, particularly as therapy is a highly emotional and personal experience.

“I believe that in most cases, people are pulled to write reviews because they had a powerfully positive or powerfully negative experience,” Kolmes says now. Kolmes explains that mental healthcare professionals aren’t ethically permitted to solicit testimonials from current clients, meaning reviews don’t often paint the whole picture. Additionally, it is tricky for professionals to respond to negative reviews. “The online review system poses unique challenges to healthcare providers who are bound by confidentiality and, therefore, cannot typically respond to the review in the same way another business can,” Kolmes says.

Matt Lundquist, a psychotherapist who runs a mental health clinic in New York, saw his first negative review in December 2011. Immediately, he felt concerned for the patient, not his own business. “I was actually most concerned that a patient would feel they couldn’t speak with me about a negative experience they’d had, meaning: what did that inability to raise this with me say about our treatment?” he says now. In the last 10 years, he’s had four bad reviews, and has also dealt with malicious fake reviews from competitors. While he doesn’t take bad reviews personally – “People feel hurt by and get angry at their therapists all the time – it’s an important part of good therapy” – he’s uncertain about the current reviewing model.

“Do I think the universe is served by bad therapists having bad reviews out there so potential patients can run away? Absolutely,” he says. “But something about Yelp (and I’m not saying Yelp in particular is at fault here) seems not to work that way. I’ve heard horrendous stories from patients over the years about terrible therapists they’d worked with and not one has a negative review.

“I don’t pretend to have the solution, but a tool that is designed to review dentists and coffee shops may not be the answer for something as intimate as psychotherapy.”

Problems also arise when reviews are inaccurate or defamatory. Bruce Hillowe is a mental healthcare lawyer in New York who told the American Psychological Association in 2014 that he received “three calls a month” from “distraught” therapists who received negative online reviews. Hillowe says the number of calls remains the same five years on, and also reveals that he mostly hears from younger professionals. “They rely more on referrals from the internet than older folks who have established networks that are largely more personal and less electronic,” Hillowe says. But do these young professionals actually have any legal recourse?

“It’s only possible to pursue anything legally if the patient has identified himself or herself, and they have stated as fact something that is falsifiable,” Hillowe says, adding that viable defamation cases in this area are rare. It is equally rare for an online review service to remove comments, so Hillowe advises professionals to undertake their own patient outcome studies and publish these online to counteract negative reviews.

“Even if something is potentially actionable, you may make things worse rather than better, because some of these may end up being publicised if you attack a patient – people read newspapers, there’s almost no good possible outcome that can come of it,” Hillowe says. In 2017, South Carolina psychiatrist Dr Mark Beale sued an anonymous critic who left him a one-star review on Google, and asked Google to unmask the reviewer. After the media picked up the story, people around the world flooded him with negative reviews – he now has 1.2 stars on Google from 169 reviewers. “He should have better empathy for his patients and be able to deal with his own hurt feelings,” one writes. Another says: “He has no place being in a position of power if he sues people for a Google rating.”

For Dr Sheri Jacobson, founder of HarleyTherapy.com, a UK-based platform that allows patients to book appointments with qualified mental health professionals, online reviews are imperative for “transparency”. Harley Therapy has Trustpilot reviews embedded on its website. They’re the first thing you see along with a therapist’s credentials, and staff also respond to negative Google reviews, asking reviewers to contact the company personally so it can address any concerns.

“I really, really value these review systems because it gives clients a voice and pinpoints to us how we can improve constantly,” says Jacobson. “We can’t change therapists’ personalities but we can certainly try and make a substitution.”

Nonetheless, Jacobson notes that poor reviews can be upsetting for professionals who have no recourse to defend themselves. “Because of confidentiality, we can’t often address the points accurately, because we don’t want to expose the nature of the client’s issues,” she says. “So for example, if one of the client’s presenting issues is impatience and anger, and then they blow up at us, it’s actually partially symptomatic – but we certainly can’t say that.”

Lizzie says she initially felt “petty” leaving her review, but is now “proud” because “the public deserves the truth”. Ayana, a 26-year-old marketer from Florida, also felt she had to leave a negative review of her psychiatrist on Zocdoc in 2016 in order to “warn” others. She saw the doctor in question for her anxiety and depression and while she did not have talking therapy, she relied on him to prescribe medication. After he became unreliable and cancelled a couple of appointments, she says she felt “defeated”.

“I wasn’t in a super great place mentally, so not feeling like the doctor cared at all about whether or not I was doing okay was really rough,” she reflects. “I remember when I booked him he had 4.5 stars, and I didn’t want anyone else to have to go through this. Because I did feel like he was dismissive of my symptoms and didn’t listen to me.”

Overall, though, the area remains contentious, perhaps unsurprisingly, due to the sensitive nature of mental health treatment. Poor reviews continue to distress professionals; Dr Kolmes first began researching the area after stumbling across their own poor Yelp review in 2009, and continues to study it today.

However, in a recent paper that may relieve healthcare professionals, Kolmes surveyed 305 psychotherapy patients about their experiences looking up clinicians online. They found only a quarter of those surveyed looked at reviews, and that “most didn’t believe reviews had an impact on their feelings” regarding their psychotherapy.

Kolmes has since set up their own review system, Getting Better, which incorporates information about a patient’s number of sessions, the treatment they sought, and their experiences. When asked what patients who feel compelled to leave reviews should do, Kolmes adds that “a frank conversation” with therapists can also be useful for closure, and in extreme circumstances, patients can report professionals to a licensing board (although in these cases, you may have to reveal details of your therapy).

“This is a helpful finding because it may lay some providers’ fears to rest and it suggests a higher level of sophistication in psychotherapy clients’ ability to be discerning consumers and readers of online reviews,” Kolmes and colleagues wrote in the paper. “Online reviews may not have the type of negative impact that psychotherapists fear.”

Nowadays, we’re able to review absolutely everything and everyone with just a few clicks – but should we? While there can be no doubt that there are some substandard therapists out there, the truth is that therapy is a highly subjective experience which, as anyone who has ever been through it knows, doesn’t always feel good at first. It’s fine to review a restaurant after one bad visit, but is it okay to review a therapist after one session? As with therapy itself, there are a lot of personal and uncomfortable questions we must ask ourselves.

Lizzie has since visited another mental health professional and her faith in therapy has been restored. Ayana has also sought help elsewhere. “I know there are a lot of people who are just complainers, but I’m not someone who goes out of my way to leave a two-star review,” she says. “If I’m leaving a review, it’s because I feel like I’ve been wronged – deeply.”

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Like most moles and birthmarks, skin tags are pretty harmless. Found on or nearby eyelids, armpits and the neck and groin areas to name a few, they are incredibly common and, of course, entirely normal. But for those who may find them inconvenient or aesthetically undesirable, there are numerous avenues you can explore to remove them.

What Are Skin Tags?

Firstly, it’s important to know exactly what skin tags are. Most commonly born out of friction between the skin (also known as chafing), these soft lesions come in a range of shapes and sizes, from a tiny grain of rice to the size of a pea, and they can be either skin-coloured or pigmented. “Appearing individually or in crops, skin tags – unlike warts and verrucas – are not caused by a virus,” explains dermatologist and medical director at Eudelo, Dr Stefanie Williams. “This means they don’t ‘spread’ like an infection and neither are they infectious to others.”

What Causes Skin Tags?

Their benign nature has resulted in very little research being carried out to understand skin tags. According to Dr Williams, people over 50, those who have diabetes and individuals with high levels of triglycerides (lipids linked to cardiovascular disease) in their blood are more prone to skin tags. A handful of medical professionals believe there could also be a genetic component, as anecdotal evidence suggests the condition can run in families.

Whatever the cause, skin tag removal is often not available on the NHS as it is not deemed medically necessary. In some cases, for example if the skin tag is causing secondary issues like bleeding and discomfort, NHS treatment may be available if referred by a GP.

How Can You Remove A Skin Tag Professionally?

Alternatively, private removal via a dermatologist can start from £195, and that’s usually for one single skin tag. Small skin tags are straightforward to remove and can be done nonsurgically by a dermatologist or GP. Cryotherapy is one popular approach among experts, which involves the use of extreme cold (liquid nitrogen) to ‘freeze off’ the tag. Patients are expected to notice the tag fall off within 10 days of treatment. However, it isn’t unusual for a blister to form in the area where the nitrogen was applied, which can lead to post-inflammatory pigmentation.

Cauterisation is another avenue. This occurs by way of an electrosurgical device which essentially burns off the growth and often leaves fewer marks post-removal. If the skin tag is bigger in size, it may need to be removed by a doctor under local anaesthesia, then cauterised or surgically ablated (or ‘shaved’) off. In most cases there are no stitches needed and no downtime, and all that remains is a piece of dry skin which tends to drop off 1-2 weeks later. Both procedures are reported to be uncomfortable but relatively painless and bleeding is uncommon.

Dr Ifeoma Ejikeme, aesthetic medicine doctor at Adonia Medical Clinic elaborates on the professional procedure. “Depending on your skin type, prior to removing a skin tag the skin is initially prepared with ‘at-home’ topical products to reduce the risk of scarring,” she said. The lesion is then fully assessed to ensure it is safe to remove. “Removal takes 5-25 minutes depending on the size and location of the tag,” continued Dr Ejikeme. “Recovery takes around 4-14 days and at-home antibacterial and soothing products are given to aid healing.”

Can You Remove Skin Tags At Home?

Considering dermatologist appointments can be few and far between, not to mention expensive, numerous individuals are taking skin tag removal into their own hands. A quick search on Reddit uncovers a number of threads dedicated to their removal. From chopping them off with nail clippers (yes, really) to regularly applying apple cider vinegar, and even tying dental floss around them until the blood circulation dies, there are multiple methods which people are willing to give a go. This year has also seen a rise in dedicated over-the-counter kits which ‘freeze’ or ‘suffocate’ tags. But is DIY-ing it the safest route to tag-free skin?

Brands like Cryotag claim to use the same freezing technology employed by doctors and dermatologists. The isobutane-based spray targets the skin tag and not the surrounding skin, promising a result after two weeks.

Similar to the aforementioned string method, kits available at various UK pharmacies like the Excilor Skin Tag Treatment, £24.99, claim to offer a natural method by way of a device which stops the flow of blood to the tag. The kit advises placing a plaster over the ‘dying’ tag for 6 days, by which point it should have fallen off.

That said, most medical professionals believe skin tag removal should be done by a doctor or a trained dermatologist (always be sure to check their credentials on the General Medical Council register). Contrary to lots of advice online, Dr Anjali Mahto, consultant dermatologist and author of The Skincare Bible: Your No-Nonsense Guide To Great Skin does not recommend undertaking skin tag removal yourself and warns of potential risk of bleeding and even infection, as it is difficult to ensure sterility in a non-medical setting.

This is something Dr Ejikeme seconds. “I would err on the side of caution when considering at-home self-removal devices. As well as bleeding, removing skin tags can lead to scars if done incorrectly. Scars can take the form of ulcers or dents in the skin or increased pigmentation after removal. This can usually be prevented by an experienced doctor.”

As well as this, Dr Ejikeme hits home the importance of knowing for sure whether you’re actually dealing with a skin tag or whether it might be something else entirely. Dr Williams explains further. “While true skin tags are harmless and can’t turn into a skin cancer, sometimes a mole or another type of skin lesion may mimic the appearance of a skin tag,” she said. “First and foremost, it is best to have them looked at by a dermatologist or GP with skin knowledge before taking any action.” This is especially crucial if you’re still interested in going it alone.

In addition, experts argue that it is worth getting your blood tested to ensure that your skin tags are not early warning signs of insulin resistance, cardiovascular disease or other underlying medical conditions.

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Oops! Did you think that you could TRUST Logan Roy (Brian Cox)? Oh, sweetie, then you haven’t really been paying attention to Succession. Logan may speak words with his mouth, and make movements with his face, but that doesn’t mean that he is a normal, empathetic, moral human man. No, he’s a business — a leader, a machine, and the kind of guy who will screw over and embarrass his family to make a point. He always wins. And it’s nauseating to see it go down.

In episode 5, “Tern Haven” we finally see the outcome of Logan’s episode 1 promise to Shiv. As you probably suspected (and as Shiv, too, deep down) Logan has no desire to pass on his legacy to anyone in his family. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He’s too power-hungry — as we witnessed during episode 3’s boar on the floor game — to ever share his empire. And now, after proving his point that money always wins, he’s more charged up than ever. He’s forcing his family to partner up for a dosey-doe of manipulation at the Pierce’s country house, he’s smacking helicopter windows, and he’s on his way to being the most powerful man in media. As Kanye West put it: “No one man should have all that power.” 

The best and most brutal part of this episode, like most of the show’s best and worst moments, involves the entire family sitting around a huge dinner table. But this time, they’re joined by what I can best describe as their Us-like tethered, the preppy and punctuated Pierce family. Rhea Jarrell (Holly Hunter) is the only one who knows the elusive riddle to the sphinx that is the Pierce family. In the midst of a fairly civil meal, a debate about the morally reprehensible ATN (“the big white supremacist in the room”) breaks out. Tom (Matthew Macfayden) is a straw man for the news organisation. The tense conversation leads Shiv to her breaking point, where she word-vomits what we’ve all known since “Summer Palace”: She’s been promised CEO. It’s a big mistake, and she knows it immediately after she says it. Fuck — just like that — it’s gone. 

It feels foolish to say that this episode is all about Hurricane Logan and his “greedy guts,” as Nan Pierce (Cherry Jones) says. That is what the entire show is about. He is the epicenter of his company and his family, a patriarch in the truest sense of the word. But, for the first few episodes of this season, he’s been showing a softer side. Even in the first half of episode 5 we see him schmoozing, smiling, and putting on the charm for Nan, a matriarch in her own right, as he prepares to purchase her Pulitzer-prize winning news organisation for something around $24 billion. He enlists his children and their significant others — along with Gerri (J. Cameron Smith) and Frank (Peter Friedman) , of course — to help him seal the deal. Shiv and Kendall (Jeremy Strong) are united, in a way, after their tender moment at the end of episode 4. They both are down to help their dad win over the Pierces, and thus they develop their anti-ATN reputations — but they want to do right. (Is there such a thing as “right” in this seedy 1%?) 

Kendall works on Nan’s niece, Naomi (Annabelle Dexter-Jones), who he spots as a fellow addict and rebel of the family. The two get properly fucked up, almost crash a helicopter, and then make out a little, before Kendall gives her his pitch for her to say yes to the sale. She’ll be free he says — and it sounds like it’s an idea he’s been toying around with, too. He’s good, even after God knows how many lines of cocaine and swigs of Grey Goose. But then, he wakes up in literally his own shit, leaving both himself and the viewers questioning what the fuck is up with that and was his blurry promise to rid Naomi of all stresses involved in dealing with the succession of PNG really work? Apparently it did. The next morning, strangely bright-eyed, Naomi sits in on what must be the tensest sit-down deal since the Treaty of Versailles. Nan tells Logan that she, Rhea, and Naomi would agree to the sale (at $25 billion) if Shiv is announced as CEO. (Gerri is also in the room, standing almost protectively behind Shiv.) Logan refuses — in fact, he refuses, then screams and then sacrifices the deal to keep Shiv out of the throne upon which she so badly wishes to sit. He severs any existing trust between him and Shiv. Logan sort of hates women in power, is flatly misogynistic, and responds positively to women who service him (like Gerri and Marcia [Hiam Abbass]) or have something he wants (like Rhea and Nan).

And then the worst thing happens: He gets what he wants. The deal’s done — they took the fucking money.

I’m sad for Shiv, and I’m sad for Roman, and I’m sad for Kendall, and I’m sad for Marcia. They’re all so deeply unhappy. They’re empty, and their dad is the one who hollowed them out. All for Waystar Royco to thrive.

Before we go, I also want to mention that Gerri and Roman (Kieran Culkin) are the oddest couple I’ve seen on TV this year. If we thought nothing could get more awkward than her calling Roman a “slime puppy,” then we surely weren’t ready for Roman masturbating in her bathroom while she screamed insults at him. I wonder how long this will last — and if anyone will even really be phased by it? I hope Gerri uses this to her advantage, especially since her name is still on the documents as CEO. It’s not Gerri, but now it’s also not Shiv or Kendall or Roman or Connor. 

As Naomi via William Shakespeare said: “Mine honour is my life; both grow in one. Take honour from me, and my life is done.” But what happens when a man like Logan has no honour and no conscience?

Cousin Greg’s Corner

I may have to change the name of this corner because Greg (Nicholas Braun) now goes by Greg-ory. Yes, that emphasis is necessary. Now that he knows how to blackmail, he also knows how to earn a shred more respect: Have a bougie name and suck up to Logan Roy. Cheers!

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Success stories can seem just as fantastical as the fairy tales you (may have) loved growing up: Bold career woman finds herself in the right place at the right time, and poof, her fairy godmother mentor snaps her fingers, transforming our hero into an overnight success who brings home a 7-figure salary, jet-sets the world spreading her you-can-have-it-all gospel, all while looking awesome and Instagramming the whole thing. Umm…really? Why do we so rarely hear the other side of the story — the false starts, the waves of doubt, the failures, and the fuck-ups? Those late-night worries and, occasionally, breakthroughs that are so relatable to the rest of us?

Introducing Self-Made, Refinery29’s newest column spotlighting the real stories that fuelled success — the wins, the fails, and the curveballs —proving there’s no one path to getting what you want.

Since launching her eponymous ready-to-wear label in 1972 with a now signature wrap dress, designer Diane von Furstenberg made it (quite literally) her business to empower women. After she sold five million wrap dresses, von Furstenberg became a face of women’s liberation. And like the Belgian-American designer told The New York Times in 1977: “The minute I knew I was about to be [Prince] Egon’s wife, I decided to have a career. I wanted to be someone of my own, and not just a plain little girl who got married beyond her desserts.”

Not one to rest on her laurels, early last year, DVF launched MasterClass, a series of videos aimed at empowering designers, and now, on the first day of New York Fashion Week, Diane hosted a lunch for her network of female CEO’s and founders to ignite and continue the imperative conversations surrounding being a Woman In-Charge in today’s world.

Refinery29 talked with Diane von Furstenberg about how the designer was able to pivot in a changing industry, what it actually means to be in-charge, and the one skill she still hopes to master.

What were your career goals when you were younger? Did you ever imagine you’d be a designer?
When I was a little girl I did not know what I wanted to do but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be; I wanted to be a woman InCharge.

DVF the brand was founded in 1972 and it has evolved so much over time. Who is the DVF woman today?
I dress the woman who’s InCharge of her destiny, her mood and her career through clothing that becomes the friends in your closet. They’re the pieces you can always reach for, know they’ll look beautifully effortless on and ensue confidence. That’s how the wrap dress has remained so relevant and timeless all these years later.

What does it mean to you to be in charge of your destiny?
In reflecting upon it, to be InCharge today is the commitment you have to yourself and the ownership we as women need to obtain of who we are from our age and our bodies to the wins and losses in our lives and everything in between. It builds character to take ownership of our being and I want to start a movement and create a platform that brings women together to encourage this journey towards being InCharge. To be InCharge means to design your own life and therefore are able to identify as self-made. It’s a continuous effort to greet life’s unexpected challenges with a clear mind, confidence and especially to never forget who you are and what you’re capable of.

You create pieces that intentionally empower women and you did it before it was cool. How are you able to maintain the brand’s DNA as fashion evolves?
The hardest thing in life is continuing to stay true to who you are and that goes for creativity as well. Through my career I’ve gone through countless ups and downs but I’ve never forgotten who I am. The brand’s DNA stays true because I stay true to myself.

Tell us a lesson you keep trying to learn, that you hope to eventually master, business or otherwise?
I definitely have my moments of feeling less than but I work to master my trick of taking a moment to look at yourself in the mirror and remember my worth because if you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.

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Ever since my first job at MTV working as a music programmer, I can’t stop trying to match people with music they might like. So, I wrote a book called Record Collecting for Girls and started interviewing musicians. The Music Concierge is a column where I share music I’m listening to that you might enjoy, with a little context. Get everything I’ve recommended this year on Spotify, follow me on Twitter or Facebook, and leave a comment below telling me what you’re listening to this week.

Dominic Sen “Hear Me”

Groove your way into September with this nugget. Alex Cohen made new music as her sci-fi alter-ego, pop star, and Galaxy M64 émigré, Dominic Sen. I didn’t know aliens would appreciate a calypso-influenced beat so much, but there’s something about the effects in this song that do remind me of a spaceship taking off. The real alien story can be found in the lyrics. When Cohen sings, “You don’t know what it’s like,” I want to simply respond by welcoming her to Earth.

Ambré “fubu”

You may already be a fan of Ambré and not even know it — she won a Grammy in 2019 for her songwriting on the H.E.R. album and has already toured opening for Kehlani. And she’s only 23. This sexy song will slide nicely into your makeout playlist, or your chill out playlist.

Ryahn “Sad Boy”

Ryahn offers her response to the ages-old query: is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? And, according to her, knowing love is always the choice one should make. She explains why with her seductive lyrics and singular guitar style. Some songs propel you forward, this one beckons to you to stay a little longer.

The Still Tide “Change of Address”

Anna Morsett leads The Still Tide, with her voice and guitar playing. There’s something so introspective about this song, both lyrically and musically, that it hardly seems like anyone else could possibly have been involved. It’s a gorgeous, mood-lifting song that’s great for dancing around to in your bedroom with headphones on.

Denitia “Waves”

A final moment of musical happiness comes this week from Denitia, who sings to us about the joy found in a lover’s arms. It’s a lo-fi song that sings the praises of what exactly she loves about the object of her affections, sounding not unlike a Shakespearean sonnet. Love is all around, so why not get lost in it?

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Yana Sheptovetskaya started posting reviews of beauty products on Instagram in the spring of 2016, using the handle @Gelcream. A former fashion editor, she photographed each item with winning simplicity: a bottle of Fresh face oil or a tube of Glossier highlighter held in her outstretched hand, illuminated as though by a beam of light cutting through a dark room. Gelcream’s photo style was imitated all over the internet, and Sheptovetskaya racked up media coverage along with tens of thousands — now hundreds of thousands — of followers.

After seven months and dozens of reviews, Sheptovetskaya interrupted her usual programming with a picture of a manicured hand holding an orange vial of antidepressants.

“2016 was my year of realising things. I found out that I am depressed. It started [a] couple years ago when I noticed that my memories are kinda faded and my mood swings a little,” she wrote in the caption. “I am writing this because I feel terrible that I lost so much time, that I thought it is normal to stop experiencing things at their fullest. I wish someone told me that the hormonal pills I take for the past 7 years to treat PCOS [polycystic ovarian syndrome] can cause depression, that it’s not me, it’s the chemistry. I can’t explain how amazing it is to get the harmony back.”

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A post shared by Gelcream (@gelcream) on Dec 15, 2016 at 8:04am PST

Sheptovetskaya says she doesn’t plan her posts ahead of time, as many Instagrammers do, and recalls deciding to share the post in a fit of anger at the birth control pills that had caused her mood to crater. The response from her followers was tremendous, with DMs rolling in from people who shared her frustration. Today, the post has over 1,500 likes and more than 150 comments — about five times the response elicited by her other posts from that time.

“I realised that when I started talking, people started responding,” Sheptovetskaya says. “Everyone has some sort of a problem, and they’re just keeping it to themselves because it’s so shameful to accept that I don’t feel well or I feel sad.”

With more than 118,000 followers, Sheptovetskaya is one of many high-profile Instagrammers who have begun peppering their grids and Stories with deeply personal posts about mental health. It’s a striking turn on a platform that often feels like a highlight reel of people’s lives — a beautiful, maddening blur of beach vacations, expensive dinners out, impossibly glowing skin, and exciting career news. But occasionally, and increasingly, influencers are puncturing the idealised self-portraits that they’ve painted and letting followers in on their darker moments.

Swimsuit model Nina Agdal has opened up about her anxiety, writing that it has spiked during fashion week. Olivia Culpo, an influencer and former Miss Universe, wrote at length about her experience with depression, explaining that even during that time she was “still taking photos on social media and pretending everything was great.” Garance Doré, a longtime style blogger, rang in 2019 with a long post about finding her way through a difficult few years, after getting caught up “in this mirage of the fashion girl.” The disconnect between real life and life as portrayed on Instagram is not lost on them.

Tellingly, these posts tend to elicit strong positive reactions from followers. Sheptovetskaya, who continues to write about PCOS and mental health when she feels compelled, says the posts that get the biggest responses tend to be reviews of cheap Amazon finds and narratives about personal challenges. The reason is simple: They’re both incredibly relatable.

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Looking at the difference between these two photos today, and thought it was important to share something with all of you. 2nd photo, a few months ago: I was depressed. I had no appetite, was drinking way too much, smoking, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t eat. But I was still taking photos on social media and pretending everything was great. I was going through a difficult situation that left me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt and it had taken its toll physically. The feeling of despair is a relatable one, so I feel a responsibility to anyone else going through something difficult to say that it’s ok to not be ok. 1st photo is from the other day, and I am looking healthier. I have my appetite back and am treating my body correctly. We’re all too familiar with the “highlight REEL” of Instagram so I wanted to get REAL and tell you it’s not always as amazing as it seems. I’m sharing this because 1. I want to emphasize what we already know: Instagram is everyone’s best version of themselves and their lives. It can trick us into thinking everything is perfect in other’s worlds. Which is NOT true. We are all more alike than we think, navigating life with similar ups and downs; good times and bad. We never really know what someone is going through, so it’s unfair to judge/compare. 2. I hope this helps others who might be going through a hard time and feeling like they need to “have it all together.” Social media can create a crazy amount of pressure to live up to an idealistic standard of “perfection” (which obviously doesn’t exist!). Hard times happen and the most important part is putting one foot in front of the other, knowing the moment will pass, and being patient with yourself. No filter is going to take away from the normal ups and downs of life that we all have. Our imperfections/hardships make us all perfectly relatable, taking this journey through life together. I think the more we understand how connected that makes all of us, the easier and more rewarding this life journey can be. Love you guys!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Olivia Culpo (@oliviaculpo) on Jul 11, 2019 at 10:27am PDT

“I think what has contributed to influencers’ astronomical success, compared to regular celebrities or a beautiful model wearing great clothes, is the 24-hour access they give us, and the fact that they really play to our human need for connection,” says Meg Gitlin, a therapist who cites social media as a common topic among her clients. “The use of the word ‘followers’ isn’t accidental. We may be following [influencers] on Instagram or social media, but it’s not a far leap to say that we’re following their lead in terms of what’s cool, what’s relevant, and what’s worth our time and attention. When an influencer lets their guard down and expresses some sort of personal struggle that they’re going through, I think that it makes us feel less alone.”

But on Instagram, nothing is ever simple. Encountering such fortifying confessionals is predicated upon using a technology that has significant potential to make a person feel terrible about herself. Instagram can leave you with a stomach full of envy and self-doubt, and influencers’ admissions of personal struggle may or may not offset those effects. More confusingly, even the most well-intentioned personal posts engage the same mechanics and reward systems that make Instagram toxic. The aspirational and anxious, the euphoric and sad, are just a scroll away from one another, asking for the same thing: Like me, please.

Once taboo, mental health has in recent years become a more acceptable and even welcome topic of conversation in public forums. Millennials are seeking out therapy at higher rates than past generations, and the general consensus is that we live in extremely anxious times, with concerns about global warming, mass shootings, political turmoil, financial insecurity, and humanitarian crises contributing to our daily stress.

And, of course, there’s social media, which is well-known for affecting one’s self esteem and sense of stability. Erin Vogel, a postdoctoral fellow in psychiatry at UCSF, ran a 2014 study that examined how aspirational posts affects social media users. Subjects were either shown the profiles of fictional people who posted life highlights and received a lot of likes and comments, or posts that were more mundane. The results wouldn’t surprise anyone who’s spent a dreary Sunday afternoon scrolling through others’ vacation pics from Positano: Those who saw the highlight-heavy profiles reported feeling worse about themselves, while the other group felt less of a change. While it’s tempting to think we should be able to correct for this and carry on using social media, knowledge and feelings don’t always move in concert.

“The thing with social comparison is that it can affect us in ways we don’t even realise and for longer than we realise,” Vogel says.

It’s easy to feel unsympathetic toward influencers, the group of Instagram users who most obviously enact the digital depiction of leisure, luxury, fitness, and travel that make onlookers feel inferior. But being in the business of constructing an idealised digital identity — effectively turning your life into a consumer product — can take a serious toll on a person’s mental health, too.

Larissa May, a former fashion influencer who now runs #HalftheStory, a nonprofit dedicated to building a conversation around social media and mental health, says that creating content for her blog took over her life. She was constantly buying and returning clothes to photograph herself in; when she went out to eat, she went to the most photogenic restaurant she could find. Every aspect of May’s life had a commercial purpose.

“It has a profound effect on your mental wellbeing. There’s a lot of isolation and loneliness,” May says of the influencer business.

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These last years have been bumpy to say the least. I’ve opened up about it. What’s funny is that when I look back, I started these years in this mirage of the fashion girl, living the “high life” (dumb expression). Truth is, after a few years of exploring that world, I became miserable and I felt very far from myself. Except I had no idea of who I was. So I tried to stay the person I knew. Even if I was agonizing. That’s when life starting getting hard, and harder, brutalizing me into letting go of that old self I was so attached to. In 2018, it came crumbling down – until finally, a flower started growing again on the ashes. When I see this photo, shot by my sister, who was there every moment even when she didn’t get what the fuck I was doing, when I see myself with no make up, wearing whatever clothes… When I see myself feeling so at home in nature – me who ended up being so crushed by the buildings of NYC… When I see this photo of me, here in Corsica where I grew up learning to chat (like literally have conversations) with nature… When I see it I can hear my sister saying “sit here – I have to take a photo, look at this, it’s the Tree of Life” and i thought of the medal engraved of a Tree of Life I am wearing that I bought in a church store when I was so sad I sat and prayed… When I see it I remember when, a few months ago, I made the promise to myself to live in my truth whatever the consequences. And life started flowing again. When I see it, I wouldn’t change anything. I want to thank 2018 (17, 16) for the lessons. And thank the woman I was, who did nothing but her best – and is still here inside (and still wants to steal my sister’s Balenciaga sneakers). In this moment, to me, nature, quiet and conversing with the trees is essential. Might be completely different to you. Allow yourself to love what you love, grow, fuck up, and to change, even if the world around you resists it. People will always judge. Change is hard, but it is wonderful – ask the butterflies! And have a wonderful last few hours of 2018 – in France we don’t say HNY before it’s the New Year so I’ll be back for that ? Ok love you I talk to much bye ?

A post shared by Garance Doré (@garancedore) on Dec 30, 2018 at 3:18am PST

It doesn’t help that being a public figure online comes with a constant bombardment of feedback, both positive and ruthlessly negative.

“It takes a very strong person to be able to weather that sort of environment, and it’s not for everybody,” says Jennifer Powell, a talent agent for digital influencers. “The ones that end up doing very well are able to deal with the negativity… You have to have a really tough shell and a really good sense of self and be convicted in what you’re doing.”

Powell advises her clients to protect themselves emotionally by setting clear boundaries about what they are and aren’t willing to talk about with their followers. For some influencers, that means avoiding the topic of mental health entirely. But when an influencer does decide to open up, it can benefit them, too.

Gitlin notes that these candid moments can strengthen the trust between an influencer and her audience (“What builds trust more than being vulnerable?”). But relatability is also currency in the influencer economy. It helps Instagrammers attract lucrative brand partnerships, which assume a correlation between influencers’ opinions and their audience’s spending decisions. Taking into account how well emotionally vulnerable posts perform, it’s hard not to wonder whether some Instagrammers do it, even just a little bit, for the faves.

The cynical line of thinking is that influencers post about mental health to boost their engagement numbers and endear themselves to their followers. The worst case scenario is that posts like these, which are almost always paired with attractive photos, could make their followers feel worse about themselves: If this is how they look at their worst, how can I possibly measure up?

The social media professionals I interviewed agreed that, yes, an influencer could post about mental health entirely for their own gain. Some had come across posts that struck them as disingenuous, but said that it’s impossible to know the intention behind anyone’s social output. Overwhelmingly, though, they expressed the belief that talking to a large Instagram audience about mental health is a weighty responsibility. It’s not something to be leveraged for business results.

Nicole Loher, a digital strategist and fitness influencer who is doing unpaid work with #HalftheStory, says that when she uses her platform to talk about physical and mental health, she is careful to note that she isn’t a doctor and that she is speaking only about her personal experience. Influencers should also be prepared to direct their followers toward pre-vetted resources, she adds; as Gitlin points out, Instagram is not a replacement for individualised counselling.

With #HalftheStory, May’s goal is to get more major influencers involved in talking about the personal struggles that don’t come across on their Instagram grids. Powell, meanwhile, sees an opportunity for influencers to partner with mental health nonprofits and even bring that work into other brand deals, by donating a percentage of sales to a nonprofit.

“I really believe that when you have a large social following you do have a social responsibility to figure out a way to use your platform for good,” says Powell. And sometimes the way to get there is by acknowledging the bad.

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This Thursday night, the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates will face off for one night only for the first time ever, after the Democratic National Committee’s (DNC) rules and several dropouts have whittled down the qualifying field to just 10.

Now that the field has been halved since the July debate, which lasted two nights, commentators are zeroing in on potential new fault lines between the candidates. Former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Elizabeth Warren — current frontrunners #1 and #2, respectively — will be sharing the stage for the first time. The ideological factions they occupy within the Democratic Party will likely be highlighted.

This is also the first time that the two top-polling women, Warren and Sen. Kamala Harris, will appear on the same debate stage. And with Harris announcing her much-anticipated criminal justice plan this week, directly confronting critics of her prosecutorial record, other candidates may take the opportunity to challenge her stances.

Primary debates often underscore divisions within the party, Hans Noel, an associate professor of government at Georgetown University, told TIME. “Most of the candidates agree on nearly everything, especially broadly speaking. So the moderators will try to find space between the candidates,” he said.

While debate topics aren’t released ahead of time, it’s very likely that climate change will come up given that six of the candidates recently announced their plans to fight its threat, and the recent devastation Hurricane Dorian has caused. Gun laws are also likely to come up, with the recent wave of mass shootings in August.

Ready for round 3? Ahead, we’ll tell you everything you need to know about the third Democratic primary debate. (And stay tuned for our recap of the debate’s key moments!)

When is the third Democratic primary debate?

The third Democratic presidential primary debate will take place on Thursday, September 12, at Texas Southern University in Houston. ABC News will host in partnership with Univision. It will air for three hours, from 8 to 11 p.m. ET.

Who are the Democratic candidates who qualified for the third presidential debate?

The DNC qualification requirements changed this time around, making it harder for candidates to qualify. Candidates must have received campaign contributions from at least 130,000 individuals and hit the 2% threshold in at least four DNC-approved polls in order to appear on the stage.

The 10 candidates who made the cut are former Vice President Joe Biden; Sen. Bernie Sanders; Sen. Elizabeth Warren; Sen. Kamala Harris; Mayor Pete Buttigieg; former Texas Rep. Beto O’Rourke; Sen. Cory Booker; Sen. Amy Klobuchar; former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro; and Andrew Yang.

Candidates will stand on the stage based on their polling numbers, with the highest-polling contenders closer to the middle. They will each have one minute and 15 seconds to respond to moderators’ questions, and 45 seconds to respond to follow-up questions and rebuttals from their colleagues. They are permitted to give opening statements, but no closing statements.

Several candidates have recently dropped out, including Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, Washington Gov. Jay Inslee, former Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper, and California Rep. Eric Swalwell.

Who did not qualify for the September Democratic debate?

Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard; author Marianne Williamson; billionaire executive Tom Steyer; Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet; Montana Gov. Steve Bullock; New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio; former Maryland Rep. John Delaney; Miramar, FL, Mayor Wayne Messam; Ohio Rep. Tim Ryan; and former Pennsylvania Rep. Joe Sestak did not meet the DNC’s requirements for the third debate.

How can I watch the third Democratic debate?

ABC News and ABC News Live will broadcast the debate. It will also be broadcast locally on KTRK-TV. Univision will offer a Spanish translation. You can also stream the debate on Hulu Live, the Roku Channel, Facebook Watch, Twitter, AppleTV, Amazon Fire TV, YouTube, and Apple News.

Who are the Democratic debate moderators?

The four moderators will be ABC News chief anchor George Stephanopoulos, ABC News World News Tonight anchor and managing editor David Muir, ABC News correspondent Linsey Davis, and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos.

What is the Democratic debate schedule?

Third Debate: September 12, 2019, at Texas Southern University in Houston.

Fourth Debate: October 15 and 16, 2019, in Ohio.

Fifth Debate: November 2019.

Sixth Debate: December 2019.

Seventh Debate: January 2020.

Eighth Debate: January or February 2020.

Ninth Debate: February 2020.

10th Debate: February 2020.

11th Debate: March 2020.

12th Debate: April 2020.

What happened in the second Democratic debate?

Medicare for All was a hotly debated topic, and Sen. Kamala Harris criticized Joe Biden on his flip-flopping stance on the Hyde Amendment, which bars the use of federal funds to pay for abortion services. Candidates also discussed the water crisis in Flint, MI, criminal justice, and more. Read our recap of the second Democratic debate here.

Who won the second Democratic debate?

The second Democratic debate was split into two nights, with 10 candidates taking the stage on each Tuesday, July 30, and Wednesday, July 31. The big winners of the first night were Sen. Bernie Sanders and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, two progressives who made a strong case for one of their signature issues: Medicare for All. While there was no clear winner of the second night’s debate, supporters of Medicare for All again had their moment, with healthcare policy being the most-discussed topic across both nights. Many of the candidates expressed their support for universal healthcare and distanced themselves from Joe Biden’s anti-single-payer stance.

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Was passiert hier gerade? Und warum muss ich darüber lachen, obwohl ich es nicht lustig finde? Diese Fragen hattest du bestimmt auch schon einmal im Kopf, während du von jemandem so richtig durchgekitzelt wurdest. Kitzeln löst nämlich unglaublich viele Reize auf einmal aus. Und diese sind dir manchmal einfach unerklärlich. Glücklicherweise gibt es YouTuber wie Hank Green, der uns auf seinem YouTube-Kanal SciShow erklärt, warum wir so verdammt kitzelig sind.

Im Video wird der Begriff „Kitzeln“ erstmal in zwei verschiedene Empfindungen unterteilt – Knismesis und Gargalesis. Ersteres bezeichnet ein leichtes Streicheln, beispielsweise von einer Feder oder wenn ein Käfer über deine Haut krabbelt, wodurch du den Drang verspürst, dich zu kratzen. Diese Art empfinden auch andere Säugetiere. Pferde zum Beispiel peitschen mit ihrem Schwanz, wenn eine Fliege auf ihnen landet.

Gargalesis dagegen kann dich tatsächlich zum Lachen bringen und ist nur bei Primaten vorzufinden. Wenn Schimpansen und Affen zum Beispiel gekitzelt werden, können sie nicht anders als lauthals loszulachen. Interessanterweise ähneln sich die kitzeligen Körperteile bei Primaten sehr. Meistens gehören die Rippen und Achseln und das Kinn zu den empfindlichsten Stellen des Körpers.

Da diese Bereiche nicht nur empfindlich, sondern allesamt auch leicht verletzbar sind, gehen einige Wissenschaftler*innen davon aus, dass Gargalesis ein evolutionärer Mechanismus ist, der jungen Affen und Menschen Selbstverteidigung beibringen soll. Auch wenn wir uns instinktiv abwenden und versuchen, die Stellen vor der Kitzelattacke zu schützen, können wir nicht anders als loszulachen. Das wiederum ist für die andere Person ein Zeichen, dass wir Spaß haben und er oder sie wird ermutigt weiterzumachen. Wenn das Kitzeln uns also nicht zum Lachen bringen würde, müssten wir uns nicht verteidigen und würden es somit auch nicht lernen. In der Tat ist Kitzeln also eine Lektion fürs Leben, wer hätte das gedacht?

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In the early ’90s, journalist Howard Sounes was working for the Sunday Mirror. His work varied. He did bits of crime reporting, he covered celebrity news and the goings-on of the royal family. He enjoyed his work but by his own admission, he wasn’t proud of anything he’d done.

Then one day at work in February 1994, the phone rang, and Howard Sounes’ life changed forever.

In 1994, I was 7 years old and lived on the outskirts of a village called Bishop’s Cleeve in Gloucestershire. When news broke of the horror unfolding at Fred and Rose West’s house, just 20 minutes away in Gloucester, I was blissfully unaware and managed to remain largely so until 2011, when ITV’s BAFTA-winning, Emily Watson and Dominic West-starring drama Appropriate Adult aired. Watching it, I was dumbfounded. I stared in disbelief as the hellish activities that had occurred inside the Wests’ home unfolded on screen: the sexual abuse, the incest, the murders and the bodies buried under the house and garden. Subsequent research told me that Rose had actually grown up in Bishop’s Cleeve and Fred had lived there for several years. How had I not known? I mean, I had known, but I hadn’t really known.

The answer, of course, is that I was lucky enough to be surrounded by adults who filtered my childhood view of the world. My parents and teachers sheltered me and my friends and classmates from the worst of what is one of the bleakest cases in British history – even as it was happening, just up the road. The married couple committed at least 12 murders of young women, including their own daughter Heather and Fred’s stepdaughter Charmaine. Howard Sounes, as the journalist who first broke the news of the nine women buried under the Wests’ property, was aware of every last gruesome detail.

His new podcast, Unheard: The Fred & Rose West Tapes, takes a look back at that time, 25 years ago, when he went in deep, interviewing friends, neighbours and family members of the Wests, helping to build a picture of the monstrous story for his paper and subsequent book, Fred & Rose. For this podcast, he’s pulled all his old recordings out of storage, and created more, interviewing new witnesses who are still haunted by their time with the West family.

In episode one, we hear from Gill Brett, a former lodger in the Wests’ house who mercifully escaped harm. She recalls liking Fred, explaining how he would let her off rent if she was a bit short. She was less keen on Rose, whose behaviour she says seemed “odd” – Rose walking around the house with no knickers on made Gill feel uncomfortable, although not as much as the screams and bangs from the bedroom as Rose entertained clients for sex work.

The most chilling revelation from Gill, however, is her recollection of shouting to Fred when she saw him leaving the house with a bulky, rolled-up carpet. “You haven’t got dead bodies in there have you?” she called jokingly and they both laughed.

But how could she have known?

I know you don’t need YET ANOTHER true crime podcast to add to your already overflowing podcast library. Listening in great detail to descriptions of murders of women by sadistic men is hardly conducive to your already precarious mental health. In fact, I’d cancelled my subscription to every true crime podcast going (except Criminal – I’m not a maniac) in favour of political and cultural listens. But due to something Sounes says early on, I’m making an exception for this one.

Many true crime podcasts have been criticised for glamorising the perpetrators and ignoring the (largely female) victims. Not so in this case. “At the time, the focus of attention was the Wests. The victims were little more than a list of names,” Sounes remembers sadly. “But now, 25 years on, that list still stays with me – 12 young women and girls lost their lives, many were not even reported as missing. How could so many people disappear unnoticed for so long? What were their stories?”

Dutifully, this first episode focuses largely on Heather West, the couple’s daughter whose disappearance eventually led to the arrests and excavation. Her friend tells Sounes that Heather was a quiet girl who loved Sylvanian Families and Heather’s half-sister’s boyfriend remembers teaching her skills to survive in the wild after he learned of her plan to run away to the Forest Of Dean.

These are the stories that should have been told at the time and, although they weren’t, Sounes appears to be making up for it now. No, it’s not an easy listen, but if the podcast continues down this route of remembering the victims while it tells the wider story, it will at least be a worthwhile one.

Unheard: The Fred & Rose West Tapes with Howard Sounes is available from 10th September from Somethin’ Else Production.

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If Instagram is anything to go by, the era of ’90s hairstyles is well and truly upon us. Aside from boy cuts and bobs, bold TLC-inspired ‘boho passion twists’ are quickly becoming the ultimate nostalgic style of choice for protecting your hair. While jumbo box braids and Zoë Kravitz’s messy-style single plaits are still a mainstay in the hair industry, boho-esque twists have brought an undeniable quality to the table.

Occupying a cosy space between goddess locs (using various types of human hair to create a lightweight, lived-in finish) and passion twists (two-strand twists using extensions), the revamped boho version includes curly hair installed throughout, with wisps and strands singled out from the twists to give the illusion that they are growing from the scalp. This attention to detail is what makes boho passion twists stand out in a sea of protective hairstyles. 

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Having been inundated with requests for the buzzy new style, it’s safe to say that pioneering passion twist expert, Nardia Greenway (@goddessstyling on Instagram), and natural hair enthusiast, Tamara Brown aka @silonesensei know a thing or two about the hairstyle, which is going viral on Instagram.

Nardia puts the popularity of boho passion twists down to their striking appearance. “Boho passion twists don’t look like all of the regular protective hairstyles we’ve seen before, like Senegalese twists or kinky twists,” she told R29. A number of US stars have also been quick to adopt the style, from Twin Peaks’ Nafessa Williams to YouTuber Kathlyn Celeste. Filtering through to the UK, the trend has taken off in a major way, becoming a highly sought-after request for hairdressers here.  

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“Passion twists are a style I think the Instagram protective hair community has really needed,” Tamara says. “Once the style became popular in America, it was only a matter of time until everyone else started doing them.” So how do you wear boho passion twists? For the moment, natural tones are most preferred, according to Tamara. “I think subtle colours are trending right now because they make hair look neater. Right now, I am seeing more blonde tones and light brown shades coming through,” – perfect for autumn.

While boho passion twists are relatively low maintenance once done, installation may take a while, and Nardia suggests setting aside 4-5 hours. However, their longevity makes them well worth the wait. “Mine tend to stay put for 4-6 weeks and that’s because I follow a method of braiding and then twisting,” says Nardia. Even better, she mentions that this hairstyle is suitable for all hair types from 3a to 4c.

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Nardia continues: “As boho passion twists age, they start to look more natural and not as shiny as they do when you first install them.” Protecting the twists with a headscarf helps keep them looking sharper for longer. 

However you wear boho passion twists, making sure your edges are healthy is also an important factor of the style. If moisturised well, the twists can be perfectly adaptable, as Tamara tells R29: “For best results hair should be lightly conditioned and hydrated.” KeraCare’s Essential Oils For The Hair, £7.60, works well for nourishing afro hair, especially damaged ends. If you’re looking to go luxe, renowned hairstylist Charlotte Mensah’s Manketti Oil, £48, is ideal for strengthening hair and smells divine. To maintain and define curls, AS I AM’s Coil Defining Styling Jelly, £9.99, is worth its weight in gold.

Nardia also highlights the importance of laid edges. “I avoid hair pulling by leaving edges out or swooping hair into the twists to avoid strained follicles.”

It also pays to do your research in regard to your hair type. “If a client’s hair is thin or they have experienced hair loss, then small boxes wouldn’t be ideal as this would put too much tension on the hair and scalp,” Tamara continues. The solution? “Try to use the crochet method or bigger boxes to reduce this tension.”

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So where exactly can you get boho passion twists done? Manchester natives can head to the contemporary Retro Room to trial the curls. Award-winning natural hair salon Hype Coiffure in Battersea is renowned for its protective hairstyle services and Estate Salon in Edinburgh is great for natural styles, weaves and extensions. A quick Google search also throws up a handful of other great salons across the UK, which specialise in the style.

Finally, prices tend to differ depending on the length and texture of your hair, according to the experts. On average, though, the style can set you back a little more than usual. “The style can range from £40-£400,” says Tamara, but ultimately, it all depends on the hairdresser you choose.

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Ginny Hogan is an LA-based writer and stand-up comedian. She’s a contributor to The New Yorker, The New York Times and McSweeney’s. Forbes recently profiled her as a rising satire star, and she was on this list of top humorists for 2019. She’s just published her first book, Toxic Femininity in the Workplace with Morrow Gift, an imprint of HarperCollins. Here she tells the story that inspired her to write the book…

I worked as a data scientist in the tech industry in the US for three years. On two of four teams, I was the only woman (aka the lone voice of reason). During those years, I learned a small amount about mortgages, a medium amount about statistical inference, and an enormous amount about gender politics. Not a day went by without me witnessing a new manifestation of sexism – people are right, Silicon Valley is innovative!

I went to an all-girls school from the age of 5 to the age of 18, so men in general throw me. My first week of college, I was on what we call a co-ed (i.e. mixed) floor, and I saw a boy walk out of the shower in nothing but a towel. I called my mother and told her I thought I was overwhelmed and needed to come home (it didn’t help my anxiety that he was very cute). I became a maths major and was surrounded by men for the first time (how I managed to concentrate on the theorems is beyond me). Still, most of my friends were women, and I didn’t feel too overwhelmed by the culture.

Everything changed when I joined the tech industry. I was around almost all men and, unlike in school, I had to spend the days with them – I couldn’t leave when my classes were over. At times, I’d have one other woman on my team, and we always became close friends (we bonded over the shared experience of being the only two women, but I also think if we hadn’t become friends, our male colleagues would have been uncomfortable). I worked with a few men who were overtly terrible, but I also found that even among men who didn’t behave egregiously, there were still challenges to being the only woman on my team.

It can be difficult to tell during the interview process what a company will be like, so I learned to find people who’d worked there before to ask. Toxic masculinity is often much quieter than the people promulgating it. I was surrounded by aggressive men who yelled on the phone in the middle of cramped office spaces, but their sexist remarks came in at a lower decibel. One man suggested I wasn’t sufficiently interested in the company because I didn’t smile enough. Was he referencing my resting I-work-with-all-men-and-it-wears-me-out face? Another kept describing female candidates as “poor culture fits” but failed to provide any explanation why. Sometimes, it wasn’t subtle at all, like my former coworker who routinely called people “pussies”. I had a marvellous time recounting that to the HR director when they finally decided to fire him. I didn’t want to say it out loud, so instead I just said it started with a ‘p’ and waited for him to guess. None of this would have been obvious during the interview process, though – I can’t really imagine deciding to join a company after watching someone throw a chair.

I learned that I represented all women to many of my male coworkers. I can’t count the number of times someone asked me for advice about texting a woman they’d gone out with (I once suggested a coworker write, “I had a really nice time last night, would you like to go out again?” and his mind was blown. Men are dumb). While I didn’t always dislike becoming friends with my coworkers, the downside was that if I made a mistake, I risked them thinking less of women in general.

I was a data scientist and wrote code most of the day, but I hadn’t been a computer science major in college and there was a lot I didn’t know about the specifics of certain databases and programming languages. I had colleagues who almost seemed to expect it when I made a mistake, and I found that so disheartening. I did work harder than my male coworkers, but I didn’t want to have to. Although this sounds like a joke, I do strongly support women’s right to be as mediocre at their jobs as men are. The tech industry is filled with lazy people who get by because they have a desirable skill set, and I don’t see why women shouldn’t get in on that.

As the only woman on my team, I developed empathy for anyone who feels separate from the rest of their community. Not much in life is actually a zero-sum game, and diversity certainly is not. I was on teams with only one or two people of colour, and some of their complaints bore strong resemblances to mine. A lack of diversity leads to groupthink where everyone is putting forth the same ideas, and it doesn’t matter if that diversity is across gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, age or anything else. Companies that are interested in fresh ideas will prioritise hiring diverse candidates.

Tech startups are challenging because the culture asks for complete devotion. I’ve had managers suggest that if I were truly committed to the company’s mission, I wouldn’t care that my male coworker was throwing a chair. Still, workplace sexism is certainly not limited in scope. Sexism permeates every industry and possibly every individual company. As the only woman on my team, I learned a lot about how others perceive you when you’re different and how sexism can manifest in subtle ways. I stopped working in tech in 2017, though, and I’m hopeful. The #MeToo movement hadn’t started when I left, and I have noticed a massive change in the way women are empowered to call out negative experiences. While there’s still an enormous amount of work to be done, I feel optimistic about the future.

Toxic Femininity in the Workplace: Office Gender Politics Are a Battlefield by Ginny Hogan is out in the UK on 10th September 2019, £12.99

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