Before we dive into the latest hair trend taking over our Instagram feeds, a full disclaimer: This look isn't exactly new. In fact, the revival of one of the most popular hairstyles of the '90s — the blunt bob — has been a long time coming, a twinkle in the eye of Hollywood A-listers, social-media influencers, and beauty editors everywhere. Now, the chin-grazing, cropped bob is back, and everyone is getting in on it... and this time, we really mean everyone.
Of course, this is far from the first '90s trend to ever come back in style. It's not even the only '90s hair trend to be back in style right this second: Banana clips, velvet headbands, and scrunchies are all seeing a runway comeback. But if you're not exactly chomping at the bit to relive the throbbing head pain that came along with your middle-school hair aesthetic, surely this simple — and painless — cut will satisfy your throwback needs.
Selena Gomez, Margot Robbie, and Rowan Blanchard are only a few of the famous faces who've sported the nostalgic trend recently, proving that the choppy, angled bob is officially back — and most likely here to stay. Ahead, the celebrity haircuts bringing the '90s bob all the way into 2018...
Rowan Blanchard's hairstylist Laurie Heaps has been maintaining the actress' lob for months. Now, she's taken her celeb client shorter than ever before with this feathery chop.
Sometimes the best cure for heartbreak is a whole new look, like Selena Gomez's new chin-grazing cut from Nine Zero One hairstylist Marissa Marino. Marino tells Refinery29 that the best part about this kind of cut is that it hits just right on the jawline, so it's always perfectly framing your face.
Although Viola Davis rocks the Diana Ross 'fro almost as well as the Supreme herself, her recent bob is a close second as our favorite style from the Oscar winner.
Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic.
Celebrity hairstylist Chad Wood took Vanessa Hudgens from bohemian babe to an A-list Francophile recently via her new French-inspired cut. Finish it off with flipped ends, and Hudgens nails two trends in one.
Model Jourdan Dunn has rocked every kind of bob — even one that had asymmetrical sides — but this blunt option from hairstylist Ursula Stephen might just be our favorite.
Taraji P. Henson never shies away from experimenting with new cuts and colors. Still, this root-beer brunette bob is the only one we need for our next salon visit.
Photo: ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images.
There's no better way to end awards season than with a fresh haircut — just ask hairstylist Adir Abergel and Saoirse Ronan. The Lady Bird star and Oscar nominee showed up to Hollywood's big night with an above-the-shoulder crop that nearly matched yet another celeb on the red carpet...
Yes, alongside Ronan, I, Tonya actress and fellow nominee Margot Robbie arrived to the ceremony with a fresh bob from hairstylist Bryce Scarlett.
Tessa Thompson may rock technicolor hair in the upcoming Sorry to Bother You, but in real life she's here for a curly bob.
Photo: Mat Hayward/Getty Images
L.A.-based hairstylist Ashley Streicher is known for her own bouncy bob, so it's only fitting that she share the playful look with some of her regulars, like Sarah Paulson and Alison Brie.
Thanks to hairstylist Anna Cofone, Dua Lipa is now rocking a shoulder-length cut that officially makes her a card-carrying member of the '90s bob club.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Summer is almost here, and I know it because Calvin Harris is out here with new music. This time he teams up with everyone's fave, Dua Lipa, who brings her trademark deadpan vocals to Harris's return to electronic music after dabbling in "real instruments." It's a little repetitive, but it's also highly danceable. The whole tone of the song is very 1989 by way of diva vocals; or, put in shorthand, ACS: Versace -friendly. Gentle reminder that April is not too early to be going for song of the summer.
Sabrina Claudio feat. Khalid "Don't Let Me Down"
There isn't an opening for the new Sade, but that's not stopping Sabrina Claudio from trying to fill it. She's got shades of Mya and Jhene Aiko in her whole aesthetic, too, and on this track she's got some fly calypso beats and guest vocals from Khalid. Their call and response is hotness overload, where she goes breathy and he holds the baseline of the melody. If you were wondering what your summer make-out playlist for 2018 should start with, we found it. Now can someone tell us where to get her leopard print bikini?
Wild Moccasins "Boyish Wave"
I grew up in Houston, so I had to give Wild Moccassins a listen when they hit my inbox. I've got a soft spot for everyone from my hometown (looking at you, Bey). It's got that glam rock vibe that I'm a sucker for and makes me want to toss my hair around while doing my best Molly Ringwald kick dance. Apparently it's about breakups and relationships gone wrong, but you could have fooled me. All I hear in the music is a good time.
FLETCHER "I Believe You"
I've heard several #MeToo songs at this point, and I kind of thought I was done being emotional about them. Then I hit play on this one. FLETCHER spoke to lots of other female songwriters and women in music before writing this track, and just thinking about it makes me both sad and pissed. I love that it's an affirmation, though, for people who haven't said anything because they can't imagine anyone would believe them. There are a lot of guys in studios. FLETCHER just launched a "we see you" missive.
After my first job at MTV working as a music programmer, I can't stop trying to matchmake people with music they might like. So, I wrote a book calledRecord Collecting for Girlsand started interviewing musicians. The Music Concierge is a column where I share music I'm listening to that you might enjoy, with a little context. Follow me on Twitter or Facebook, or leave me a comment below and tell me what you're listening to this week.
"PJs as streetwear is in." Yawn. For the amount of times we've heard — and guiltily said and written — that exact statement... While we may still be stretching out the wear of our matching silk sets, the slip dress is ready to dump its pajama moniker. The Victoria's Secret-esque slinky number of the '90s has evolved past adult sleepover jammies. In fact, it's even evolved beyond the Céline and Saint Laurent chemises that kickstarted the trend just two years ago.
Nowadays, the dress is being reimagined into lamé dinner party frocks, casual Friday work attire, and even one-strapped pieces. While we're still very much into the layered white tee styling tip, the 2017 spaghetti-strap dress is transitioning from *wink wink* bedroom wear to socially acceptable. Since summer's hot enough, skip the layering tricks and wear these dresses on their own. For 20 slip dresses that say afternoon lunch rather than mood-lit bedroom, click ahead.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Women may still be in short supply on every single one of Billboard's country charts, but one of the genre's newest stars, Carly Pearce, refuses to be discouraged by the boys club. With her debut album, Every Little Thing, she decided to consciously channel her idols, the strong and prolific women who ruled country music in the '90s: Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Alison Krauss, and Trisha Yearwood. It looks like that idea just might work to help punch through the bro-covered glass ceiling; the album's title track made it all the way to the number-one slot on Billboard's Country Airplay Chart, making her one of only three women to accomplish that feat in the last 12 years (the other two were Carrie Underwood and Kelsea Ballerini).
Refinery29: You're quite a workhorse. You started out playing in a bluegrass band at only 11 and then took a job singing at Dollywood at 16. How did you find the time to get any basic kid stuff, like going to school, done?
Carly Pearce: "Yeah, I fronted a bluegrass band from the time I was 11 until I was 16 and was still in public school. I found any little bit of time that I could for school. I was always a child who loved school. When I was 16, I convinced my parents to let me quit high school and be home schooled so that I could take a job at Dollywood. I did my schooling in between my six shows a day, and it taught me how to work and what it means to really be focused. At Dollywood, I learned about having a schedule to manage a lot of different things, which I think I now use in my career."
You're also a songwriter. Around when did you start? Is there a song you're most proud of writing?
"I've always written down poetry, but I think that really started to write songs when I was about 17 and got into co-writing, after I moved to Nashville. It is important to me as an artist, in order to tell my story, and something I've been a fan of. I'm particularly proud of 'Every Little Thing' because in seeing what that song, which is so my story, did [on the charts] when I thought it was something nobody would care to hear about — that's pretty crazy."
Do you feel frustrated by how few women get played on country radio?
"I felt frustrated for a long time, but now it's so exciting because I think that you're seeing people like Kelsea [Ballerini] and Maren [Morris] and now me. We're breaking down the doors and showing country radio and the gatekeepers that women do want to hear songs by women and that women can work on the radio. I think we just have to continue to brand ourselves as all our own artists and keep making music. What 'Every Little Thing' has taught me is nobody knows what a hit song will be. Nobody knows what's going to react. All I can do is be 100% authentic and write truth and hope that it translates. This song was a very grassroots situation. I was a Highway Find on Sirius XM, which is where they promote independent artists and truly base everything off of iTunes sales. My song was in the top 10 on iTunes as a solo independent artist selling 6,000 units a week. They said that since they started that program, the only other artist to do that was Florida Georgia Line with 'Cruise,' and they were also independent when that happened. Country music fans started this for me and they're the reason I got my yes."
Now that you've found some success, is it important to you to hold the door open for the women coming up behind you?
"I was so fortunate to have Kelsea in my corner for so long taking me out on the road and helping me. When I was starting, probably in 2013, she took me out as her opening act. We met in a women's support group, kind of like a therapy group for artists. Throughout her career, she has taken me out on shows. She posts about my music. She has me over for wine and checks in. She has always been a person I could go to as a girlfriend and ask for her advice on how she handled different things. This is kind of scary; you don't really know it until you've gone through it. She has constantly given me advice when she didn't have to, because she truly was a fan of my music and believed in me. She continues to be a dear friend.
"Lucy Hale helped me as well, she hired me as her backup singer and was really kind to me. I have a woman in my band, my keyboard player. I certainly want to be an activist for women and help in any way I can to promote other artists and kind of give back and pay it forward the way that they did for me."
It's so funny that you say that, I'm in some groups like that for women in music as well. It is nice to have spaces like that, especially in a male dominated industry, where women can talk without constantly being interrupted by male voices. They have become a real resource, though, to find more women to work with.
"I bonded with Kelsea and our group because one day everyone was going around in a circle talking about what they were doing. Kelsea said she just got a record deal, someone else said they were putting out their first single, and when they got to me I started sobbing. I told them that I had a record deal, and I lost it. No one would return my calls, and I didn't know if I could do this. I asked for their help. Because I was that vulnerable, we started a real, true friendship that has lead to a sisterhood. It showed me that we don't all have it together all the time and we have to be willing to be real. That's the kind of artist I want to be, and that's the kind of friend I am. I had no idea that's the kind of friend Kelsea would become."
I found your current single, "Hide the Wine," (written by Hillary Lindsey, Luke Laird, and Ashley Gorley) to be particularly revolutionary considering that so many country songs by dudes reference drinking beer. It made me feel seen, just to hear that small, feminine touch that better reflected my life and my choices in a song. Do you think we're missing that sort of thing by not having as many female voices?
"Absolutely! When I heard 'Hide the Wine,' I thought, Oh, here's my 'hey boys I do it, too' drinking song. I can write about drinking from the female perspective and be in control, not be the sad female who drinks too much and is weak. This is a strong stance; the way that guys talk about picking up girls when they're drinking? This is the female version of that, but classy. I hadn't heard anything like it on the radio, where she is the strength in a song about alcohol. I think hearing that is important, and I love that there are female writers on it."
I get the sense that the debate around authenticity in country leads to a lot of questions, especially for women, around if they had to dumb it down or change their image to appeal to a mainstream audience. It sounds like you didn't have that experience at all.
"That has been so eye-opening for me because I did think I was going to have to change a lot of things. What's interesting is, I've had people along the way [who] helped and coached me to hone my reputation, but nobody's ever tried to change me. I feel like I have carried myself in a way, and I hope it comes across that I'm not willing to — that you have to treat — I haven't run into a lot of issues as far as not feeling equal because of the people I'm around. I don't allow those thoughts to get inside my head, because I think so easily we can just assume that that's how people are going to view us. But, if we stand strong, have opinions, are intelligent, and carry ourselves in a way that is respectful but direct, then you will be viewed as an equal the majority of the time."
There are a lot of reasons to love The Ordinary: the simplified formulas, the potent ingredients, the mix-and-match possibilities, the low, low prices. Unfortunately, there are also quite a few reasons to not want to support the brand, which have become more and more apparent over the past few months as Brandon Truaxe, the founder and CEO of The Ordinary and its parent company, Deciem, has very publicly made a bit of a mess of it.
While boycotting a company whose divisive views you disagree with is fairly easy when it’s something like, say, a chicken-sandwich chain that opposes same-sex marriage, cutting The Ordinary out of your routine might feel like waving goodbye to good skin, especially if you’re not looking to sell a kidney in exchange for a new seven-step skin-care routine. But there are still ways to stock up on the good stuff without spending an insane amount of money, while getting to keep all of your organs. (Though you do only need one kidney, after all.)
Ahead, the best — and most affordable — product alternatives to try if you love The Ordinary, but aren’t in love with what’s going on behind-the-scenes.
If you like the Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion, try…
This gentle moisturizing cream contains three different types of retinol, for smoother, more even-toned skin and increased collagen production without irritating even sensitive types.
This unique booster makes it easy to get your vitamin C powder without the mess — it doesn't mix with the enclosed emulsion until you want it to, so it stays as fresh as possible in the meantime.
You don't see mandelic acid all that often, which is why this lightweight gel is a godsend. Combined with proven skin-soothers like aloe, chamomile, and allantoin, you get the best of chemical exfoliation with the least amount of irritation possible.
This cult-favorite BHA liquid is a little on the higher-priced end, but there's a reason it's so well-loved: You'll get noticeably smoother, brighter skin after just a few uses.
If you like the Resveratrol 3% + Ferulic Acid 3%, try…
Peptides, actives, resveratrol, hydrating ingredients like argan oil and aloe vera — this well-rounded lotion has everything, and is a serious source of antioxidants across the board.
The metal roller-ball applicator on this soothing under-eye treatment helps reduce the appearance of dark circles and under-eye puffiness on contact while caffeine, glycerin, and green-tea extract get to work.
There's a part of my nature I've been fighting my whole life: I like tacky things — and not in an ironic way. Flamingo wallpaper, Playboy bunny necklaces, water beds, birthday cake body wash, plastic stripper platforms, tiki bars in the basements of suburban homes... these all appeal to me on a deep level.
It'd be too easy to slip up, so I try my best to play it safe. My clothes are neutral. My sheets are white. My signature lipstick is lip balm. Sometimes, though, a sparkly, rainbow delight falls through the cracks and fills me with so much joy, I consider throwing in the (boring, white, monogrammed) towel on my so-called tasteful life. This is one of those times.
Sunshine & Glitter is a brand out of Miami (no surprise there) that makes highly glittery body lotion, sunscreen, lip gloss, and — get this — bug repellent! Don't you almost want to plan a camping trip with a bunch of serious Patagonia-type hikers just so you can show up covered head-to-toe in glitter bug repellent? I do.
Ahead, find everything you need for your most extra festival/beach day/outdoor drag conference ever.
This isn't a gimmicky glitter lotion trying to pass itself off as protective with an SPF of 8 or some bullshit — no, this has SPF 50, 80 minutes of water-resistance, and soothing aloe vera and green tea extract high up on the ingredients list. Have your funfetti cake and eat it, too.
Middle school you would have loved this sparkly pink gloss because it smells like a Jolly Rancher. Corporate, responsible, adult you will love it for that reason, too, but will say it's because of the high UV protection.
Want a great everyday detangler to invest in for your severe knot problem? Here are some options. Want subtle gold-glitter highlights that are a little sticky but will look pretty at Coachella? You know what to do...
"Look at me, I'm Edward Cullen!" you can sing as you twirl around the campsite, sparkling gloriously, free of mosquitos and sun damage. (But know that you probably won't be invited on the next guys trip.)
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Today: an analyst working in consulting who makes $66,000 per year and spends some of her paycheck this week on a vegan Oreo cupcake.
Monthly Expenses Rent: $1,422.50. (Includes underground parking. I share two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment with a friend. Student Loan Payment: $0. (I had financial aid and family assistance throughout college.) Health Insurance: $30 from my paycheck for medical, $6 for dental HSA: $18.50. (My employer matches $500/year.) Car Loan: $0. (I bought a used car at age 16.) Spotify: $0. (I'm on my brother's plan.) Amazon Prime: $0. (On my family's plan.) Wall Street Journal Subscription : $0. (I have a student membership that my family covers.) Gym Membership: $18. (Half is covered by work.) Wi-Fi: $40 Electric: $48 Water: $24 Gas: $50-$75 Renters Insurance: $10 401(k): $72 Roth IRA: $458. (Trying to contribute this amount, at least! I started working full time only a few months ago, so I am finally over the hump of moving expenses/adjustments.)
Day One
8 a.m. — My boyfriend, J., and I wake up after a fun night and have the perfect morning wake up ;). Then I drag him to the gym with me to go to a strength-training class at 9 a.m. I sneak him by the front desk so he doesn't have to pay the obnoxious guest fee. The class includes an ABSURD number of squats and presses, leaving us out of breath and looking at each other with "OMFG" faces. Future Instagram fitness models? Probably not.
11:30 a.m. — J. spends about half the week at my place since he still lives at home far out in Virginia but works in D.C. We go to the Giant near my place so he can get food to keep at my apartment. I pick up coconut milk, frozen corn, kale, and chickpeas for a recipe I'm making, plus a pack of seltzer to keep in the fridge. $10.95
12 p.m. — We get back and are starving! We both make eggs and then we move on to the real cooking: I whip up a kale, goat cheese, and corn chickpea cake, a batch of chili for the week, and a banana snack cake that turns green/blue because I use sunflower butter in it (though it still tastes great). J. makes a ton of French toast with a splash of Maker's Mark, which makes it so much better. We bump to J. Cole while we make a mess in the kitchen.
2 p.m. — We pack up the French toast and walk to a friend's apartment. After an intense game of Risk with my boyfriend and roommate last week, J. and I decided we need a game with more strategy and less luck. Our trivia group offered to teach us how to play Settlers of Catan, which we enthusiastically agreed to. We eat French toast and play for five hours straight. J. wins the first game and I win the next two, after lots of strategy and negotiations. (Can you tell we are competitive?) We have an absolute blast and plot when we can play next.
7:30 p.m. — We get back from our friend's place and J. is starving, so we walk to &pizza to get him food. A friend recommended we try it, and it doesn't disappoint! After walking in the cold, we are ready to bundle in for the night. I want to watch The Social Network but can't find it for free, so we settle on Back to the Future after realizing neither of us has seen it. We hit the sheets around 11.
Daily Total: $10.95
Day Two
8:30 a.m. — My alarm wakes us up. I try to keep to somewhat of a schedule on weekends for my sleep so that I don't have too rough of a transition going back to work on Monday. I throw in laundry and then scurry to the gym, happy that it's too early for all the bros to be there. I do some sprints while daydreaming about the food I'm going to eat today.
10 a.m. — J. is still at my place when I get back. I shower and get ready, and then we both help my roommate clean our place a bit. I'm very appreciative of the fact that my boyfriend helps out since he stays at my place so frequently. He's great about cleaning up after himself, chipping in, and bringing us wine/food/etc. I flip my laundry, make scrambled eggs, say goodbye, and then call a Lyft Line to take me Georgetown. $3.61
11 a.m. — I meet up with my amazing and lovely friend from work at M Street. We picked an awful day to explore Georgetown, since it's sleeting and about 30 degrees out, but we roll with it. We pop in and out of shops, wistfully dreaming of working for companies like Patagonia or Nike. Then we stop for tacos and talk about what we want to do with our lives and how we will find our purpose. We talk about this almost every day – we're less than a year into our jobs, but we both know we want to pursue careers that set our souls on fire instead of working in management consulting. $11.51
1:30 p.m. — We stop at Baked & Wired and both get cupcakes. We did Whole30 in January and have been looking forward to this for over a month now. She gets the unicorn one and I get a vegan Oreo. I leave half of the cake uneaten because it is so cake-y, but overall the cupcakes are WAY better than Georgetown Cupcakes. I've never understood why the line is always so dang long for those mediocre ultra-sweet cupcakes. $4.15
2 p.m. — Our last stop is TJ Maxx, my favorite store. My mother raised me as a Maxxinista, so I love to scout the store for good sales. I snag cashew butter ($5.99), mascara, and Anastasia concealer. Anastasia Beverly Hills is one of my favorite makeup brands, and it is so much cheaper when you don't buy it at Sephora! $15.30
3 p.m. — I call a Lyft Line home, and once again am the only person in the car – score! Once I get home, I meal prep: cauliflower, brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, chicken, and spaghetti squash. I pack a few meals in Tupperware for the week, jam to Spotify, and prep for work. I also publish a post on my blog. I started blogging after graduation (before I started my job) and find that it's a great creative outlet for me and a fun side project, even if no one reads it except J. and a few friends that know about it. $3.51
5:30 p.m. — I pack up and head to my boyfriend's house, driving in a monsoon to get there. I call my mom on the way and we catch up, and then have a hardcore jam session to Cobra Starship. When I was in Warby Parker the other day one of their songs was playing, which reminded me how much I used to love them when I was 14. "Guilty Pleasure" is on repeat and I'm singing like I'm on American Idol, for better or worse.
6:30 p.m. — I snuggle with J.'s dog, a rescue we adopted in college. We eat lots of good food with J.'s family.
Daily Total: $38.08
Day Three
6:45 a.m. — I wake up and roll out of bed, immediately putting on gym clothes. I use my apartment gym to avoid walking outside in the cold weather. At the gym, I do incline walking and a bit of running. I shower, make coffee, and get ready. I pop an IBS peppermint pill to help mitigate my impending stomachache along with my concoction of vitamins. At 8:20, I hop in my car and put on a podcast. Today's pick: So Money, a long-time favorite of mine. There's a big car accident so it takes me a bit longer to get to site today.
8:50 a.m. — I pull up at the same time as my manager, which is great because I'm still waiting for a badge and need to be escorted in each day. I set up in our team room, catch up on news, and figure out what I need to do today. I add some items to my Amazon Subscribe & Save order, which is set to be delivered next week: coffee ($4.96), collagen peptides ($23.76), glutamine ($9.58), Rxbars ($19.95), and BCAAs ($18.01). I use collagen peptides and MCT oil in my coffee each morning. Collagen has made a huge difference for me – I notice it most clearly in my nail and hair growth. $76.26
11:30 a.m. — After a morning of meetings, I shimmy down to the break room to grab my food: tuna, lentil pasta, brussels sprouts, and cauliflower – random but really good. I do intermittent fasting, so this is my first meal of the day. I put my head down and go back to work until about 3:30, when I heat up chili I brought for lunch.
4:30 p.m. — I leave the client site to drive to our office for a training, parking nearby ($15 expensed). I pick up dinner from a fast casual place rather than eating my sad Tupperware dinner. I get chicken, brussels sprouts, broccoli, and sweet potatoes with a salsa verde. The rest of the night, I feel bad for buying dinner when I easily had food available. $11.55
7 p.m. — I sneak out of the training early after thinking about how much I would rather be home. I stop for gas and fill up two-thirds of my tank, following my Dad's advice to never let it get below a quarter tank when it's cold out. Once home, I eat banana cake, clean the kitchen and bathroom, and update my Excel budget. I get everything ready for work and then settle on the couch to watch This Is Us. I've been mentally preparing all day but still manage to cry three times during the episode. I'm glad no one is around to see me bawling – sometimes a good cry is therapeutic, but I'd rather do it alone. Afterwards, I crawl into bed with my book ( Lover by Anna Raverat), and then fall asleep at 9:15. $20
Daily Total: $107.81
Day Four
5:40 a.m. — I wake up to the lingering smell of lemongrass from my diffuser, which was a Christmas gift from my parents. I'm still undecided on whether it makes a difference. I putter around to get my gym clothes on and walk to the gym for a 6 a.m. class.
7 a.m. — Holy. Crap. I walked into the class thinking it was a typical strength training class, but boy was I wrong. It was essentially a combination of Zumba, running, squats, and jumping. For an hour. Everyone in the class seemed totally fine and I was in the corner huffing and puffing, my face bright red. We kept running and jumping and kicking; I didn't think it would end! It was great in an awful way. I'll probably drag myself there again next week. I walk home and notice the beautiful sunrise – one of the perks of getting up really early.
7:40 a.m. — I'm all ready for the day and have about 40 minutes before I need to get to work. Most mornings I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get to work on time, so this is a refreshing change of pace. Once I'm ready, I read more of Lover and drink my coffee out of a mug instead of a travel container. I appreciate drinking coffee leisurely so much more now that I'm working full-time! I toss Animal Farm into my bag to read on the metro tonight – I like to read two books at once, weirdly. At 8:10, my roommate and I walk to the metro together, where we see my boyfriend and another friend of ours from work. We have a great catch up on the ride, debriefing about my roommate's new guy. I'm going to the office today instead of the client site, which rarely happens, but I love when it does. Our office has natural light, usually free food lying around, and free coffee.
8:35 a.m. — Join my team in our room and begin working on client materials for an upcoming offsite we're hosting. I take a break at 9:15 to go to a blind coffee taste test to help pick which coffee our company should use in the machines. The rest of the morning is filled with decks, conference calls, and strategy with the team. At 11:45, I find leftover food outside a conference room and snag eggs. I also eat my first food from home: spaghetti squash, chicken, and sautéed veggies.
1:45 p.m. — The rest of my team is in meetings, leaving my fellow analyst and me in our team room. We chat about life, project work, and consulting in general. Both of us feel like we are either going 100 miles an hour or doing nothing, with little in between. Neither of us knows if this is normal or not, so we text friends and ask their thoughts. We get mixed results back, which provides zero clarity for us. It's nice having someone on my team who is also going through the adjustment from college to working full-time.
3:30 p.m. — Our contracts are changing at work, so these past few weeks have been incredibly ambiguous and volatile. My team bonds over this with lots of jokes being cracked, which is nice. Today is a slow day: I spend most of the afternoon chatting with my team, reading personal finance articles (I dream of retiring absurdly early), and sending emails. I also up my 401(k) contribution to 6% from 3%; if it's too much I will change it back, but I want to give it a shot to save as much as I can.
5:30 p.m. — I metro into the city for dinner with a friend from work who I don't get to see much, reloading my card on the way ($10). We interned together a couple summers back, so it's always great to see her and catch up. My stomach feels super off, most likely from the beans in the chili I've been eating the past few days, so I order a kimchi bowl for good probiotics. Eating out always reminds me how much food I could buy at the grocery store for the same amount. However, for the good of friendship, I suck it up ($9.51)! After dinner, I pop over to Whole Foods to buy milk (3.49). I metro home, reading Animal Farm on my ride. $23
7:45 p.m. — Once home, my mom calls and we catch up while I unpack from the day and put on my PJs from Target. (They are seriously the best. They look like leisurewear but also PJs, with jogger bottoms as soft as a baby's butt.) My roommate and I catch up while we eat out of our respective jars of almond butter, talking about wanting to have partners who are equally as ambitious and goal-oriented as we are. I read more of Lover while drinking some tea, and consider going to a 6 a.m. yoga class tomorrow. But my desire to sleep in wins. I go to bed at 9:30 p.m.
Daily Total: $23
Day Five
6:45 a.m. — I refuse to snooze in the morning. I immediately hop out of bed and head to the gym after chugging water. (I drink an absurd amount, gotta keep my skin young and fresh!) Damn, my butt and back are sore from yesterday. I go to my apartment gym and do a simple workout so I don't have to walk through the hail. While there, my friend texts me about the weather delay. I run upstairs and check my work phone to see that there is a two-hour weather delay – heck yeah! I embrace the delay and work in my sweatpants. Before logging on for the day, I publish another blog post and read a few pages of Animal Farm. Finally, I update my one-line-a-day journal, which I'm on my fifth (!) year of. I highly recommend it, it's great for reflecting back on the past and remembering what you've been up to in life.
10 a.m. — My manager tells me that it's quiet onsite today so I can work from home the rest of the day if I want. I'm all for it! I make an apple cider vinegar tonic to drink while I work.
11:30 a.m. — It's very bleh outside, and I'm happy I can work from my apartment. I make veggies and eggs while reading over documents. Making eggs in the middle of a weekday is such a luxury these days, so I savor every bite. I read more personal finance articles and ponder what direction I should take with my own blog. Right now it's just word vomit of my life, from living in D.C. to wellness to personal finance. I have no idea what direction to take with it, so for now I'll just sit on it more and think. While eating lunch, I also shoot a message to the local trivia group to see about hosting – perhaps it'd be a fun thing to do once a week or so? We'll see!
1:15 p.m. — More phone calls and decks. (The consulting life!) I use my Chem-X to make pour over. In a moment of stupidity, I place a plastic container on the hot burner and the plastic melts on my stove. My apartment reeks of plastic, and I quickly clean it up to avoid lingering toxic smells in the apartment. D'oh. I have more calls, and find out that the work I've been doing for the past few weeks is essentially obsolete now. I've accepted that part of this job involves doing work that is often thrown out the window, but I don't always like that. I throw myself a two-minute pity party.
5:15 p.m. — Today is one of those days where I look up at the clock and the workday is almost over and my brain really hurts. I put on This Is Us while finishing up emails and other random small tasks. Once again, I cry. A lot. This Is Us is really just a free form of my own personal therapy. Once I finish up, I bake a banana snack cake (a Pamela Salzman recipe), make spaghetti squash, sauce, and chicken for dinner, and chat with my roommate about work and her upcoming birthday. J. shows up and we chat for a bit before walking to trivia, schlepping through the awful weather.
7 p.m. — We meet up with friends and commence our trivia effort! We are consistently inconsistent, and tonight we're pretty bad. It's still a ton of fun though and a great thing to look forward to on Hump Day.
9 p.m. — By round four we are seriously behind, so we all cut our losses and head out. When we get back, J. surprises me with Catan! I'm so pumped – I had looked into getting it but didn't want to spend the money. We make plans to teach my roommate this weekend after her birthday brunch. We have some fun time and then read in bed before going to sleep.
Daily Total: $0
Day Six
6:45 a.m. — Up and at it again. I walk on the treadmill since I don't feel like an intense workout, but I love to move my body before work since I sit for so much of the day. I miss walking around a college campus all the time! On my commute I listen to The mindbodygreen Podcast episode with the founder of Siggi's.
9 a.m. — I find an empty cubicle and set up shop – I hate sitting in our team room all day because it's windowless and has bright fluorescent lights. If there is one thing I truly detest in life, it's fluorescent lights. I sit with the lights off near the window (such a luxury!), and work. Our team finds out that our contract is going to be funded, which is a huge sigh of relief – we thought we'd be losing half of our team. This means my fellow analyst will still be on the team with me, which I'm happy about!
11:15 a.m. — I heat up oatmeal for lunch, which I made with oats, egg whites (don't knock it 'til you try it – they make the oats so thick!), coconut milk, ashwagandha, maca, cinnamon, vanilla, and blueberries. I read Money Diaries and more personal finance articles while also thinking of what batch meals I want to make this weekend.
1:40 p.m. — My stomach is growling, but I'm on a conference call. A teammate sends me the link to the Avett Brothers concert at Wolf Trap this summer, and I immediately text my brother to see if he wants to come to town and go with me. At 2:15 I heat up spaghetti squash, chicken, and veggies. It's a quiet day here and I wish I could work from the comfort of my couch.
4:30 p.m. — I dip out because everyone of importance on my team isn't around. I call my mom on my drive home – I really miss seeing her on a regular basis and love talking to her pretty much every day. We're very close and I love having the ritual of calling her on my ride home. Once home, I take my last work call of the day. After eating cashew butter and banana cake, I go down to the gym and walk while finishing my book to get more steps and movement in.
6:15 p.m. — J. arrives and we have a heartfelt discussion. He's really committed to our future, and it's not that I'm not, but I feel so young to commit one way or another and don't want to make decisions now when I don't need to. I've talked before about wanting to leave D.C. and live in other cities while I'm young, which makes J. nervous. It's complicated, but we have a good discussion. After, we eat dinner (eggs, veggies, and tortillas with hot sauce) and then I succumb to a Hulu trial subscription. I've been wanting to rewatch Desperate Housewives, and J. gives in and watches with me – we get through two episodes and he's hooked! While we watch, I do a watercolor painting. We climb into bed around 9:30 and read and unwind before going to sleep.
Daily Total: $0
Day Seven
6:45 a.m. — I wake up and head to the gym. After that I decide it's worth being a few minutes late to work to make J. a PB&J for him to take on his commute.
9 a.m. — On my way to work I listen to a new podcast I love called Women's Work, which J. recommended to me. This episode features Gretchen Rubin, who I LOVE! I'm a personal development junkie so I love learning about habits, happiness, and human nature.
11:45 a.m. — Sitting in a windowless, fluorescent-lit room kills my spirit. Sigh. I eat tuna (not in the team room, to prevent smelling), and a medley of veggies for my first meal.
2 p.m. — I run out to get coffee for my manager and myself in an attempt to mitigate my headache. Sadly, it doesn't help, and now I'm stranded outside the building waiting for someone to come get me. My teammates are all in meetings/on calls, so I stand outside for about 20 minutes enjoying the sunshine and going through email. I drink my cold brew too quickly and get the shakes, UGH! This happens every time, and I never learn. Eventually, I am rescued. ($8.47 expensed)
3:30 p.m. — I have a pounding headache still. I give in and take Motrin, and then eat my desk lunch of spaghetti squash, chicken, and veggies. I'm still hungry so I eat a Larabar too. Can I go home yet?
6 p.m. — I get home from work with a bad headache, so I skip yoga and bake cupcakes for my roommate as a post-birthday brunch treat. I don't have muffin liners and the cakes get crumbly, so I turn the cake into cake balls, but realize I need butter for frosting. J. and a friend come over, and I offer to drive his friend home. I pick up butter, sprinkles, and eggs on my way back. $10.53
9:30 p.m. — J. and I split a Lyft to a housewarming party hosted by some of our college friends. It ends up being pretty lame, although I see a few people I haven't chatted with in a bit. We slip out after an hour or so and climb into bed right before midnight. $7.50
Daily Total: $18.03
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We'd go by anything that SZA recommends, because have you seen her? So when she became the zillionth person to tell us that she swears by castor oil for her hair instead of coconut oil, we knew it was finally time to explore it further. Turns out, the ingredient is popping up in many new hair launches (along with our tried and trues) for a reason. "Castor oil has been shown to improve circulation, which helps hair growth," Ron Robinson, cosmetic chemist and CEO of BeautyStat, tells us. "It also adds shine and conditions the hair."
Jamaicans have sworn by it for years as well, often considering it an "all-purpose healer" according to Lois Hines, founder and CEO of Tropic Isle Living. "The oil is anti-fungal and antibacterial. Jamaican Black Castor Oil, specifically, has become popular over the years because it's a great sealant, which helps the hair and skin to retain moisture," she says. "Traditionally, it is used as a laxative, to heal baby’s umbilical cords, and to relieve body aches through a massage with the oil. As for skin care, it aids with hyper-pigmentation, reduces the appearance of dark spots, and combats acnes and scarring."
And because it's good for all hair textures, you should expect to see much more of Jamaica's secret weapon more and more. Learn more about castor oil — and some of spring's most exciting new hair products — ahead.
First things first: Castor oil is derived from the seeds of the castor bean plant. It's rich in a fatty acid called ricinoleic acid and regenerates a lipid called prostaglandin, Hines explains, which is the catalyst for hair growth. The oil is beneficial for anyone experiencing traction alopecia and thinning hair. Aside from that, castor oil also eases constipation, heals skin infections, and hydrates chapped lips.
Remember when SZA said that coconut oil dried her hair out? Well, it's all because of the density. Castor oil, specifically Jamaican Black, is thick... and it absorbs really quickly. Basically, coconut oil has less density and adds a lightweight sheen.
Robinson adds that they have different chemical compositions, too: while coconut oil is rich in caprylic and lauric acids (both are fatty), it's way better for daily use. "Castor oil is a problem solver," he says.
Aside from lifting residue and buildup from the scalp, R+Co's new dry shampoo mist also works to moisturize and condition, instead of drying your third-day hair to oblivion, like many dry shampoo options.
"I’m so in love with this one!" Kristen Ess Instagrammed of her line's hero product. "It’s a blend of castor oil & coconut oil that comes in a stick and you can use it in sooo many different ways! You can use it as a pre-shampoo treatment if your hair is feeling dry, you can sleep with it on your ends because it comes with a bun cap which will protect your pillow, you can use it to moisturize & nourish your edges, you can use it before styling thicker, coarse, or curly hair in braids, a bun, or waves and leave it in while you do life."
Curly and coly hair tends to dry out really fast. A leave-in with castor oil (along with pracaxi oil and acai extract) doesn't just leave your 'fro hydrated — it also provides a whole lot of body. Talk about a two-for-one special...
"For coily hair, castor oil is essential for the 'LOC' method," Hines notes. "Castor oil locks moisture in, like your water and your leave-in, and prepares your hair for styling." Using this recently-launched mask before a twist-out will maximize the style even further.
Based on the best-selling book of the same name by Margot Lee Shetterly, Hidden Figures, starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monáe, tells the true and inspiring story of three Black female pioneers – Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson, who were the unsung heroes of the 1960’s Space Race. At the time, while working at NASA’s Langley Research Center, Johnson (Henson), Vaughan (Spencer), and Jackson (Monáe) were known simply referred to as "colored computers." But in actuality, the women played integral roles in calculating the first American orbit in space, and the film tells their boundary-breaking story as black women in STEM.
The TV project, which is still in the early stages of development, will expand on their stories if it's greenlit, diving deeper into everything leading up to that historic moment, according to Variety. It will be executive produced by Peter Chernin and Jenno Topping, both of whom also served as executive producers on the film.
The movie dominated at the box office, raking in more than $200 million worldwide and received three Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Adapted Screenplay. Given the amount of praise it's received from critics and fans alike, it's safe to say that a series digging deeper into the story of these women would be well-received by viewers — regardless of age, race, gender, or profession.
Shetterly told an audience at Vanderbilt University that while she was inspired to pen the story because of a void in the history books left by the disinclusion of these black women, their story is meant to touch more than just the black community.
“ Hidden Figures naturally has particular resonance for people who are black or female or scientists, or all three, but this history is ours — it is all of ours — and in a time when our country can seem fractured beyond repair, the power of story is such that it is still possible for people who believe themselves to be incompatibly different to see some things the same way,” she said.
There's no word yet on if Henson, Spencer, and Monáe will be reprising their roles in the TV series, but here's hoping they do. Because let's be honest, Henson's brilliance, Spencer's leadership, and Monáe's sassy quips kept us laughing and feeling inspired the entire film, and who wouldn’t want to see that on a weekly basis?
Cardi B’s debut album Invasion of Privacy hasn’t even been on the market for a full 48 hours and already it’s certified gold — and bringing out plenty of haters. And I’m not talking about the kind who might not recognize the sheer artistry (or relatability) behind hits like “Be Careful” and “Ring.” To each their own on that note. Instead, I’m referring to the people who are quick to write off Cardi B’s success simply to promote and pump up other female rappers, including Nicki Minaj. Fortunately, Cardi B quickly shut down the suggestion that the two have beef and that there’s only room for one female rapper at the top of the charts, and I couldn’t agree with the latter more.
In an interview with Ebro Darden on Beats 1 on Apple Music, the Bronx-bred rapper discussed her new album, relationship with Migos rapper Offset, and why she’s “annoyed” with the Nicki Minaj rumors.
“I just feel like it’s really internet made-up. I really feel like fans, fans, and people they really want to see that happen because it’s really entertaining,” she said. “To see people beefing is really entertaining.” Cardi goes on to admit that she herself found it entertaining to watch Minaj and Remy Ma exchange disses last year, but she made it very clear that she “doesn’t have time for that.”
She also took the opportunity to praise Minaj, calling her an “amazing artist,” and referenced times when she’s actually made videos singing along to her songs. "[Fans] want me to say something bad. [Fans] want to annoy me to the fact that I say something bad. I'm not falling for that," she said. Instead, Cardi advocated for more people talking through problems like adults instead of “sneak dissing” each other. “If you ain't fucking my man, or if you not taking my money from me, or if you not stopping my money then I don't really give a fuck about you.”
The fact that this was even a topic of discussion is ridiculous. Instead of allowing Cardi to celebrate a successful transition from her former job as a stripper to reality TV star and topping the charts, she’s forced to defend her relationships with other women. Likewise, fans can’t even celebrate the album and all the new Instagram captions we’ve been blessed with because of it, without funneling through “Cardi B is trash” comments and ranking memes of female artists on Twitter.
Did I miss the memo that says one woman’s light shining makes the others around her dimmer? Is it not possible to like more than one female rapper at a time? Of course not, and yes it is possible, which is why the pitting of Cardi B against every other female rapper and vice versa has to stop.
Yes, there was a time when there was only one female emcee topping the charts that fans could root for. But now there’s plenty of them, and we should be celebrating that fact instead of harping on who’s the best. With so many young women seeking representation in entertainment and the world today, they deserve to have more than one example of success to look up to. While Cardi B’s version may not always be what some consider “classy,” she’s real, works extremely hard, and has built a career from the ground up. And who can hate on that?
Cardi B’s wins shouldn’t make anyone — rapper or otherwise — feel threatened or like they need to tear her down. If anything her hustle, realness, and commitment to making sure that “bad bitches” win should inspire others to live their most authentic lives.
Instead our attention and “hate” should be focused on the record labels and execs who refuse to sign more female rappers to their labels and/or promote their body of work. For example, Cardi B isn’t the only female emcee signed to Atlantic Records, but she’s the only one mainstream media is being exposed to right now. And the discriminatory selectivity isn’t just reserved for major labels either. Imprints led by male rappers themselves also have a history of ignoring female talent. In fact, a breakdown done by Pitchfork uncovered that between 15 popular music imprints only four females rappers were signed. Music execs not adding more women to their rosters further perpetuates the stereotype that only one emcee can shine at a time, and fans are, unfortunately, taking the bait.
Everyone needs to take a page out of Cardi B’s book and rise above the beef.
Interventions might make for good TV, but anyone sitting on the brown sofa on the other side of the screen can tell you: It's not easy convincing someone to do something they don't want to do, especially when it comes to changing a habit. I recently learned this first-hand when I staged a skin-care intervention for my 33-year-old girlfriend.
Not only does she give approximately zero fucks about skin care, she also only owns two products in total: a cleanser and a moisturizer. (Which is a start... if you're 14.) She resists most things I bring home, saying they're "too much work." But recently, I was finally able to convince her to, at the very least, consider adding two more items into her rotation: retinol (the rocket fuel of anti-aging ingredients) and sunscreen (to prevent future damage).
Now, I'll be honest that we're still looking for an SPF she doesn't hate using in the morning, but we're having better luck with the very first retinol cream I grabbed. It's from a little-known indie brand that just launched called No B.S. — and it's been a huge hit. For starters, and by request of my natural-leaning girlfriend, it doesn't have any parabens, sulfates, or artificial fragrances, and instead contains plant-based ingredients like aloe vera, lavender oil, and vitamin E.
It was easy to get her to try it, partly because the formula makes your face smell like you just ran through the lavender fields of L'Abbaye de Senanque. (Important to note: That isn't for everyone.) But don't be fooled by the flowery scent: This stuff really works. After applying it before bed every night for the last two months, she swears her skin has never looked better. And I've also noticed a huge improvement in evenness and texture, too, which is a lot considering I only use it a few nights a week when I stay over.
The truth is, habits don't change overnight. I may never convert her to a full-blown skin-care enthusiast, and that's okay. For now, I'm declaring her most recent text, "Hey, think you could get any more of that purple stuff?" a success story.
No B.S. Retinol Night Cream, $50, available at Live No BS.
It’s been a big week for Cardi B. The “Bodak Yellow” rapper’s new album, Invasion of Privacy, just dropped on Friday, and it’s already certified gold. If that wasn’t enough, she announced last night on Saturday Night Live (where she was the musical guest) that she and fiancé Offset are expecting their first child. It’s surprising that Cardi — known best as loud, brash, and unafraid — would have kept the secret for so long, so the announcement was out of step with her personality. From the white dress to the slow reveal, it was quite demure.
But why announce this on SNL and not in her new gigco-hosting The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon? It’s got to go back to those music roots — we met Cardi as a rapper, and that’s the stage she owns. It may have been an understated announcement, but it was a total power move. The performance was all hers, and she stood alone on that stage. No co-host and no banter: just music. Cardi B knows when it’s all about her, and she wasn’t going to share that moment with anybody.
Offset slyly tweeted out the announcement a bit before the broadcast, referencing the couple’s “next chapter.” The attached photo was sans (visible) baby bump, so he still had us guessing just what that chapter was for the next few hours (while we waited impatiently for the SNL broadcast).
C A R D I A N D I L O O K F O R W A R D T O O U R N E X T C H A P T E R T O G E T H E R pic.twitter.com/C1QizKV3Cb
It seems like our sleuthing paid off. When she performed “Be Careful,” lights came up on Cardi in a tight, rouched white dress, baby bump fully on display. The SNL cameras played the moment pretty coyly — it’s a good two and a half minutes into the song before they zoom out and show her stomach, at which point the audience cheered.
Cardi, far more succinct than her future spouse, spit some lines early this morning on Twitter: “I started winning when the whole world was doubting on me !think imma lose with my little baby counting on me ?”
I started winning when the whole world was doubting on me !think imma lose with my little baby counting on me ?
Rumors of Cardi’s pregnancy have been rampant for a while: word spread first from a TMZ report, in which she supposedly stepped away from a party because she was between two and four months pregnant. Cardi denied that (as well as people who speculated about her weight gain), writing on Instagram, “No bitch I’m just getting fat. Let me fat in peace.”
This will be Cardi’s first child and Offset’s fourth.
Saturday Night Live has taken one of our favorite childhood board games and made it into an apt and aggravating metaphor. As kids, we played the Game of Life assuming we would become a rockstar, live in a mansion, and drive an orange van filled with our fictitious families before retiring 20 minutes later with stacks of colorful, paper money. SNL instead chose to reimagine the game with the option of being a Dreamer.
“The Game of Life: DACA Edition, now your destiny is determined at birth,” advertises the narrator. As those around her proceed through a much easier game, one player is asked to play by an additional set of rules that requires her to jump through bureaucratic hoops that are often at odds with each other. Her fellow player buys a mansion, while she must reveal her status to her employer. Don’t get us started on the immigration court system expansion pack.
While becoming a rockstar and retiring young isn’t the reality for most people, the portrayal of the DACA side of the board is the reality for hundreds of thousands of people. The whole purpose of the program was to allow Dreamers, who were brought into the country as children, the opportunity to build their lives in the United States without the fear of being deported.
Last week, Donald Trump tweeted saying “DACA is dead,” before continuing his anti-immigration tweetstorm about DACA recipients abusing the program. His sweeping characterization of this large and diverse group of people was flawed to say the least. The last people to qualify for the DACA program are required to have lived in the United States since 2007 at the latest. Ending the program has been on his mind since he was a campaigning, presidential hopeful. Although immigration is one of his most consistent talking points, the program has managed to continue despite Trump defunding it last year.
They aren’t new to the country. They’ve built their lives here, and they deserve the chance to play on the same side of the board with the same rules and garishly colored plastic minivan figurines as the rest of us.
You never want something until you can't have it. So, each week inThe Sell-Out, we're getting the scoop from your favorite retailers on what's selling like crazy. Watch this space to find out what everyone's buying, sign up for wait lists, and keep tabs on restocks.
When you find the perfect hoop, you want to wear it every day. It's up there with your favorite white sneakers or little black dress — a pair of hoops is the current, must-have classic of the jewelry world. But, the market is so oversaturated with them that it can feel tough to separate the good ones from the "meh" ones. What's a good differentiator? Your favorite models wearing them, of course.
We're talking about the Amalfi Tube Hoops & Baby Amalfi Tube Hoops by Luv Aj, which have been spotted on a handful of celebrities including Gigi Hadid, Romee Strijd, Hailey Baldwin, Elsa Hosk and more. Needless to say, they've sold out repeatedly in both gold and silver — so, Luv Aj has brought them back in both colorways, and even added a rose gold to the mix in this in-demand style, as well. Recently, Vanessa Hudgens was spotted on a photo of the earrings on the brand's IG account saying, "OMG I need. So goood." Same, Vanessa, same.
Click ahead to pre-order these popular hoops while you still can, along with some similar options.
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Over the weekend, a video of Tony Robbins questioning the motives of the #MeToo movement went viral. In the 11-minute clip from a March seminar in San Jose, CA, Robbins tells a story about a “very famous, very powerful man” who didn’t hire a qualified woman for a job because she was “very attractive” and he knew she was “too big a risk” to have around. “I’ve had a dozen men tell me this,” Robbins says, implying that #MeToo is actually hurting women rather than helping them. “I’m not suggesting you have to agree with me,” Robbins at one point tells the crowd. “I’m just suggesting you consider what its impact is.” Robbins apologized for his comments on Sunday.
One of the people who considered Robbins’ take on the #MeToo movement was the founder of #MeToo, Tarana Burke. On Twitter, Burke laid out why Robbins’ comments are so harmful to the movement, while also praising the woman in the video who stood up to the life coach. “I was made aware of this video BEFORE I ever saw it because Tony Robbins people reached out to do damage control within 24 hours. They wanted to ‘give me context’ apparently. I don’t need any. I have eyes,” she tweeted. “Bravo to this woman.”
I was made aware of this video BEFORE I ever saw it because Tony Robbins people reached out to do damage control within 24 hours. They wanted to “give me context” apparently. I don’t need any. I have eyes. The full video is 11 mins. And it’s gross. Bravo to this woman. https://t.co/gjbm9GF1Mz
That woman was Nanine McCool, who tells Refinery29 she took offense to Robbins’ claims that women are looking for “significance” or importance from telling their sexual abuse or harassment stories. Right before she got up to speak, McCool says Robbins talked about what a great guy Steve Wynn, the casino magnate who was accused of sexual misconduct, is. (Wynn, who resigned as CEO of his company, has denied the allegations.) “I remember sitting there and thinking, ‘You’ve got this wrong, you’ve got this so wrong,’” she says.
In the clip shot by activist and musician Butterscotch, who McCool says was forced to take the video off Facebook by Robbins’ people, McCool tells Robbins, “So I think you misunderstand the #MeToo movement.” Before the New Orleans native gets a chance to explain why she thinks this, Robbins cuts in to tell her that he respects all opinions on the subject. “I’m not knocking the #MeToo movement,” he says. “I’m knocking victimhood.” McCool, who was sexually abused as a child, believes he was shaming victims of sexual assault. “You know, I was a victim, I still am in many ways a victim. I will always be a victim,” McCool says. “But I’m a survivor because I was a victim. That victim, she saved my life. That’s what kept me alive.”
RAINN says that survivors of sexual violence often deal with depression, flashbacks, and PTSD, which includes feelings of anxiety, stress, and fear. Anger is the emotion McCool felt, she says, and she blamed herself for what happened. During the seminar, Robbins said that anger is hurting the #MeToo movement, but McCool disagrees, saying it’s what helped her work through her trauma and get to a better place. She’s a survivor only because she addressed what it’s like to be a victim. “Being sexually abused, harassed, raped, you’re entitled to your rage,” she says. “I just think that the #MeToo movement is a platform, a place for discussion and empathy.”
McCool says Robbins wasn’t displaying empathy in his understanding of the #MeToo movement, which focused on the accused instead of their accusers. It’s why she needed to speak up, to start a dialogue, even if she’s still surprised she did. “I don’t remember making that decision to stand up but at some point I was like, ‘Oh my god, I’m yelling at Tony Robbins. I need to sit down,’ but it was too late.” McCool says she saw “real pain in Robbins before the anger kicked in” and his anger was “quite intimidating” and triggering for her. For many, seeing the six-foot-seven-inches Robbins push back at McCool, not just with his words but physically, was hard, but she says she had to stand her ground for anyone who, like her, was once a victim.
“The video itself could be used to train men who don’t get it because I’m so triggered in that video,” she says. “I totally reject what he said, I think it’s dead wrong, but he spoke his truth and if he had been politically correct and hadn’t been triggered himself, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. I don’t fault him for his opinion, I just strongly disagree with him.”
Hi Julie, that was me. I am so grateful for this conversation that has erupted around this video, which was taken by brave @TheButterscotch. She originally posted it on FB and it had hundreds of comments but TR Team made her take it down!
While Robbins considers himself a “life and business strategist” he’s not trained to deal with survivors of assault and abuse. Those that are trained are encouraged to offer support and avoid judgment. In RAINN’s tips for talking with survivors of sexual assault they suggest saying things like “I believe you,” “it took a lot of courage to tell me this,” and “it’s not your fault” as a reminder that they’re not to blame, something Robbins never does. Listening is also the best way to show support for survivors, which Robbins also doesn’t do much of in the video. Instead of trying to make McCool comfortable in coming forward, he aggressively takes over the conversation, using his physicality and power to impose over her. Robbins tells her she needs to understand his point of view instead of considering hers.
After watching the video, Burke tweeted Robbins’ “misogyny runs deep.” “If you talk to more SURVIVORS and less sexist businessmen maybe you’ll understand what we want.” Burke wrote. “We want safety. We want healing. We want accountability. We want closure. We want to live a life free from shame. That’s the reality of the @MeTooMVMT sir, do better.”
@TonyRobbins If you talk to more SURVIVORS and less sexist businessmen maybe you’ll understand what we want. We want safety. We want healing. We want accountability. We want closure. We want to live a life free from shame. That’s the reality of the @MeTooMVMT sir, do better.
After attending the seminar, McCool, like Burke, also wants to see Robbins do better. She says she was “horrified” with how he spoke about women and this movement though she also “genuinely see[s] potential in him.” McCool holds out hope that Robbins is capable of listening and even changing.
“I hope he will sit down with Tarana Burke and other women that can speak for this movement and help him understand it,” she says. “To me the discussion will keep going, and if that discussion leads to Tony Robbins humbling himself and saying he got it wrong and I want to fix it, I would think, Yay, that’s so cool.”
Robbins has since apologized on Facebook for “suggesting anything other than my profound admiration for the #MeToo movement,” explaining he agrees with the goals of the movement and that they are in line with what he’s been trying to do at his seminars. “I teach that ‘life happens for you, not to you’ and what I’ve realized is that while dedicating my life to working with victims of abuse all over the world, I need to get connected to the brave women of #MeToo.”
In his apology, Robbins doesn’t make mention of McCool or explain how he’ll connect with Burke and other women from the #MeToo movement, but says he will work to stay “true to the ideals of the movement.” "That begins with this brief statement but will not end until our goals are reached,” he wrote.
This Friday saw the release of the film A Quiet Place, where a post-apocalypse family of four must live in silence to avoid being killed by blind, sound-tracking monsters. John Krasinski, who directed, co-wrote, and starred in the film alongside wife Emily Blunt, made a very important casting choice for the character Regan.
It’s all too common that we see characters with disabilities played by able-bodied actors (and of course, far too many white people have acted in roles for people of color). But with deaf character Regan, Krasinski pushed to hire Millicent Simmonds, a deaf actress. Simmonds previously showed off her skills in Wonderstruck, an Oscar-worthy performance in a silent film-style movie where she also played a deaf character, although representation in that film was still a bit lacking: Julianne Moore, who is not deaf, also played a deaf character. To only cast one deaf actress when there’s more than one role designed for a deaf actor shows a lack of commitment to actual representation.
Even movies that seem to be pushing for better representation fall flat: Black Pantheris a step forward for black men and women in film, but what about the industry as a whole? While Asian representation in media is improving, we still see racist stereotypes abound (a joke on the new season of Roseanne comes to mind: after falling asleep through what would’ve been Asian family-centered show Fresh off the Boat, she remarks that she and Dan didn’t miss anything: “They're just like us. There, now you're all caught up.” Clearly, that’s not true.)
That’s why it’s so important that Krasinski made sure Simmonds received the role; true representation is showing the real person on screen. And it’s about education too, what her life is like and how she navigates through it.
“We always had a deaf character in the script, but John really pushed for them to hire Millicent," screenwriter Scott Beck told The Hollywood Reporter. "She came to set and taught everyone sign language. It was really amazing and brought an extra depth to the film.”
That’s just another benefit of actual representation: What could a hearing actress have brought to the set besides notions of deafness? In this film, soundless interaction is everything. It’s hard to imagine Krasinski didn’t learn even more from Simmonds and her acting than she did from him.
Get ready, because we’re going to see a lot more of Tiffany Haddish over the next couple of years. Not only will she be acting in numerous film and television projects, but she is taking on the role of executive producer on a new HBO series Unsubscribed, which just went into development.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the series will “examine female blackness, beauty, and identity through a behind-the-scenes look at the Instagram hustle.” This is Haddish’s first series as part of her two-year first look deal with HBO where she has agreed to develop new projects for the outlet. Instagram is a platform that has taken on a life of its own. Many are familiar with parts of the process and day-to-day of professional Instagrammers, but most are not privy to all of it. Journalists have tried their hand at offering insight into the distant-yet-familiar world of Instagram, but a scripted narrative will bring an opportunity to potentially tell a more cohesive story. There has been no confirmation as to whether Haddish will appear in the series, be it in a cameo or recurring role.
Ever since her breakout role in Girls Trip last year, Haddish has been on a roll. Hosts Saturday Night Live, kills it. Wears the same dress to multiple events, we love her for it. Goes straight into producing multiple projects she’s acting in, we love her even more. 2018 and 2019 are primed to be the years of Tiffany Haddish. She is currently starring opposite Tracy Morgan in a new series on TBS called The Last O.G., is set to executive produce and star in an animated Netflix series called Tuca and Bertie, and is starring in Universal’s Night School with Kevin Hart as well as The Temp, reports The Wrap. Am I the only one who is excited for all the press interviews she’ll be doing for these? She is one of the most entertaining people to watch in interviews, and her stories about meeting other celebrities are hilarious.
She became a household name a little less than a year ago, and as an actress, author, and producer, she is showing us all how it’s done.
Refinery29 has reached out for comment to learn more about the series.
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Today: a marketing associate working at a nonprofit who makes $44,000 per year and spends some of her paycheck this week on miso soup.
Occupation: Marketing Associate Industry: Nonprofit Age: 23 Location: Brooklyn, NY Salary: $44,000 Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,242 after tax and 403(b) contribution
Monthly Expenses Rent: $1,225. (I live with one roommate.) Student Loan Payments: $250. (If I keep on this trajectory, I'll pay off my last interest bearing loan by the end of 2018.) Utilities & Internet: ~$105 MetroCard: $121 for 30 days unlimited Spotify: $9.99 Savings: $150 403(b): $150 HealthInsurance: $0. (My work pays for it.) Phone: $0. (My parents pay for it. Whenever I visit home, I try to do work for my dad's small business as a form of repayment.)
Additional Expenses Gym: I paid $75 for six months in December.
Day One
6:10 a.m. — I struggle to get out of bed after the long weekend, but I put my gym clothes on and head out the door. If I don't go before work, I know I wont go at all! When I get home, I make breakfast (coffee and apple chia oatmeal) and prepare my lunch for the day.
8:35 a.m. — Off to work! I've been working at this organization for the last six months. My executive director can be a drag but I really love our mission and my other coworkers, so they help make up for it. My MetroCard ran out last Friday, so I refill it for another 30 days.
12:15 p.m. — I eat lunch in my office (chickpeas with a tomato sauce and cabbage salad on the side) and read Money Diaries. I limit eating out to twice a week because restaurants are so expensive here and, for some reason, I can't seem to spend less than $25 every time I go out to eat. I also love to cook, so I don't mind bringing my own food for lunch every day.
4 p.m. — I accidentally had a package sent to my last address in Boston and one of my old neighbors was kind enough to help me out by sending it to my Brooklyn address. I Venmo him for the cost of shipping. $12.80
7 p.m. — Get home feeling kinda meh (hello pre-period hormones!), but am pleasantly surprised to see that I got a letter from my grandfather in the mail. He lives in Paris, so I don't get to see him too often, but I'll be visiting in April and am so excited to spend time with him and my grandmother. I found roundtrip tickets for only $250 a few months back and bought them because it was too good a deal. I make a mental note to write him back ASAP.
8 p.m. — I make miso and veggie dumpling soup for me and my roommate. When she gets home, we eat and watch Imposters on Netflix, which is soooo good. I later get a phone call from my ex in California — we broke up eight months ago, but we're still friendly and chat on the phone once every few months. It makes me miss him (dammit!), especially considering we only broke up because we were moving to different places after college. I've gone on a few dates since we broke up, but all the guys ended up being dicks. I think it's a New York thing. Lately, I've been focusing on myself and have made a point not to look for dates. I've been feeling really great recently without the pressure of finding anyone. Self love FTW! We chat for an hour before I go to bed at 10.
Daily Total: $12.80
Day Two
6:20 a.m. — I wake up and do my same usual morning routine: gym, shower, and breakfast, and am out the door by 8:30. My roommate leaves early for work today so I have the place to myself for a solid hour. I know I pay a lot for rent, but I absolutely love my apartment: We have a huge sliding door window with a view of Manhattan, a balcony, and huge rooms. It's the perfect place to relax after being in the hustle and bustle of Manhattan all day.
12 p.m. — It's been pretty slow today because both my supervisor and executive director are out of the office. I eat lunch (leftover dumpling soup that I added chickpeas to) and read some New York Times articles, including a really interesting one about the fruit/vegetable shortages in Alaska during the winter. I am so privileged to have access to a year-round farmer's market, which is why I'm happy to spend a little extra to support my local farmers.
1:45 p.m. — I'm still kind of hungry from lunch, so I cut up an apple I brought and munch on it while working on invitation designs. I bought a half bushel of barely bruised apples (around 20 pounds) for $12 at the market on Saturday and have been eating them nonstop.
3:30 p.m. — Get an email from ClassPass about a 70% off discount. I've been wanting to try it to take fun classes, since I just lift weights with minimal cardio at my old school gym. I decide against it for now but resolve to sign up the next time a good discount comes around.
4:30 p.m. — I get to leave an hour early from work, hooray! I rush home so I can take advantage of this strangely warm weather. I sit on my balcony and continue reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. For the last few years, my New Year's resolution has been to read at least 25 books over the course of the year. With all my commuting, I've been able to get so much reading in! It's gorgeous outside and I start to feel so nostalgic for summer.
6:30 p.m. — I roast potatoes for dinner and add homemade sunflower seed "cheese" from making sunflower seed milk (which is way cheaper than almond) over the weekend and devour it while watching YouTube videos. After finishing dinner, I am craving something sweet but don't have a ton of snacks because I try to live zero waste and tend not to buy pre-packaged stuff. I end up mashing sweet potato and topping with cinnamon and maple syrup. It's certainly not ice cream, but it does the trick. I spend the rest of my night reading and writing a letter back to my grandfather. In bed by 9:30.
Daily Total: $0
Day Three
6:10 a.m. — Feeling groggy when I wake up but I push past it and head to the gym. Today is chest day. I usually ask for a spotter because I'm benching pretty high (105!), and after a few rounds, one of the guys spotting me takes weight off the bar without asking and says I should go lighter. I would usually brush this off, but I've been feeling serious microaggressions from men lately and this really bugs me. I breeze through the lighter set and walk away.
7:15 a.m. — When I get home, I shower, make apple chia oats (creature of habit), and drink chai with sunflower seed milk. My roommate went out to dinner last night so I didn't get to see her before bed, but we chat a bit this morning before she heads off to work early.
12:30 p.m. — I heat up my lunch (sweet potato with chickpeas and spices) and decide to go into my office's conference room to eat and read my book. Ideally I'd be having lunch in Central Park, but it's grey and drizzly today.
1 p.m. — Back at my desk with apple chia pudding. I'm meeting a friend for dinner later and have zero intentions of eating healthy tonight, so I'm getting in nutrients while I can.
6 p.m. — I randomly run into this guy I went to college with and we chat for a few minutes as we get out of the subway. This is probably the seventh or eighth time I've run into someone I know in NYC, and it's still so insane to me every time it happens, especially considering I grew up in Texas. The guy gives me his number just before we part ways, and I plan on inviting him over the next time my roommate and I throw a party.
6:05 p.m. — Get to the burger joint and wait a few minutes until my friend arrives. We each order the Impossible Burger, which is totally vegan but "bleeds" like real meat! We catch up on each other's lives since we haven't seen each other in a few months, and end up sharing a coconut milkshake with avocado, lime, and coconut flakes that tastes like key lime pie. $23
8 p.m. — When I get home, I have two packages waiting for me! The first is a wooden frame for a poster in my room and mesh produce bags, and the other is a stainless steel French press I ordered because I broke my glass one over the weekend. When my roommate gets home, we do clay face masks (she works in beauty and gets tons of free products) and watch more Imposters. I go to sleep around 11.
Daily Total: $23
Day Four
6:30 a.m. — Woke up well before my 7:15 alarm this morning, but I stay and relax in bed while listening to a podcast my friend recommended to me: Revisionist History by Malcolm Gladwell. I get up to make breakfast and decide to boil potatoes for potato salad with a Dijon vinaigrette that I'll bring for lunch.
8:45 a.m. — While waiting for the train, I run into other friends from college (!) and chat with them until we get to our stops. We haven't seen each other in a while, so we talk about our jobs, my friend's experience in graduate school, and my sustainability blog. One of them asks to come to the farmer's market with me sometime soon and I happily say yes – I usually go by myself but love to have company with me!
12 p.m. — I eat potato salad with half an avocado I brought from home while attempting the New York Times crossword puzzle. My roommate texts me and asks if I want to go out for dinner tonight with her friends, and while I'd rather not spend money since I have food at home, she pressures me into it. I've spent less money than usual this week, so I don't mind too much.
3 p.m. — I see a theater matinée today (work perk) and get to leave a few hours early from work! The show we see is very strange and I don't understand a thing, but it's interesting to see the story unfold. Afterwards, I head home, since I have time to kill before meeting my friends for dinner.
6:15 p.m. — There's a homeless man on the train asking for money, and while I usually prefer to give food, I don't have any on me, so I give him a dollar. I didn't grow up in a place with so many homeless people and it's heartbreaking, so when I have the opportunity, I like to help. $1
6:30 p.m. — I get to the restaurant and meet up with my friends, but the place is super crowded so we end up going to another sushi spot a couple of blocks away. My roomie buys me a beer (I think she feels bad for pressuring me to go to dinner, but I gladly accept) and I order miso soup, a veggie California roll, and a sweet potato tempura roll. Before we all leave, she gives us gifts from her work: samples of a very chic perfume from one of her clients! It smells like spring and I'm so excited to wear it once the weather gets warmer. $14
8:30 p.m. — Right as we're about to catch the train home, my roommate's boyfriend calls and asks if we want to go meet him for drinks. We end up going to this weird dive bar and I order a Guinness. We stay for an hour and play Hangman, and by the time we get home at 11, I am fully exhausted and ready for bed. $7
Daily Total: $22
Day Five
8 a.m. — It's the weekend! I've gotten into a Saturday morning routine that I look forward to every week: wake up, hit the gym, come home and shower, eat breakfast, and take the bus (or walk if it's nice outside) to the farmer's market. It looks like it might rain soon, so I decide to walk along the bus route just in case I want to hop on. I bring my week's compost and a ton of reusable bags so I'm totally prepared. The rain holds off so I walk the hour there while listening to music.
11:30 a.m. — I get to the market and it's super busy. The weather is nice, so lots of folks bring their dogs and I even spot an actress from Orange Is the New Black! I buy red potatoes, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, bread, onions, a vegan chocolate chip cookie, and a beet, and put in another order for a half bushel of "imperfect" apples from the apple farmer. Americans waste nearly 40% of food, so I like buying fruit that otherwise wouldn't get sold. Hooray for saving money and the planet! I have plenty of dry goods like beans, rice, and oats left from a bulk trip last week, so this week's grocery haul is somewhat inexpensive. I usually spend around $50 per week. $27.80
3 p.m. — I make avocado toast for a late lunch with roasted butternut squash that I have leftover from last week. The roomie and I watch the rest 0f Imposters and try to wrap our heads around the ending. It's kind of confusing and we are hoping to get more answers when the next season comes out.
7:30 p.m. — I make pasta with the last of the homemade tomato sauce I froze from the summer. It's so much better than premade sauce, and I got a huge discount on bruised tomatoes from the market back in September. I watch some episodes of The End of the F**king World, scroll through Instagram, and do remote work for a co-op that I'm a member of. Chill night overall, and I'm in bed by 10:30.
Daily Total: $27.80
Day Six
7:30 a.m. — Wake up, make breakfast (coffee and apple oatmeal), and finish my book while eating. I make a plan to read more Gladwell soon; he's a phenomenal writer. Next up: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving (another amazing author). My tenth book of the year!
10:30 a.m. — Head off to the gym for leg day and then come home to shower and get ready for lunch with my roommate's mother and grandmother. They're stopping by our place for bellinis beforehand, so we make sure to deep clean the apartment so we look like responsible adults.
2:45 p.m. — We decide to go to Forrest Point in Bushwick, and I order a Mediterranean plate with Israeli salad, pita, hummus, harissa, and potatoes. I love my roommate's family and really enjoy chatting with them. Her grandmother treats us.
6:30 p.m. — I heat up leftover pasta from last night and do another face mask with my roommate. We decide to throw a party in a few weekends, since we have plenty of alcohol left over from our last party and love having friends over. I look online to see if I can find a planter for a plant I bought a few weeks ago, but can't find anything that fits my style. I go to sleep around 9:30.
Daily Total: $0
Day Seven
7:20 a.m. — Slept in for my rest day and made coffee and toast, which I topped with leftover roasted butternut squash. I'm all out of my usual toast toppers (PB, jam, avocado, hummus) but this turns out great! I also add nutritional yeast, red chili flakes, and salt, which is a delicious combo. I listen to music while getting ready for work.
10:30 a.m. — My executive director brought back pecan pralines from her trip to New Orleans and even got a few vegan ones especially for me! They're super delicious, and the southern treat really reminds me of home.
12:15 p.m. — I heat up my lunch (apple chia oats) and read articles while listening to music. I also start writing down cool restaurants I want to try when I visit Paris. That's another reason I'm trying to save up – I don't want to feel deprived while I'm there! While I definitely plan on having inexpensive picnics, I also want to try some of their fine foods apart from just baguette and salad.
2:30 p.m. — I spend the afternoon working on emails, social media, and website updates. I munch on another pecan praline and more leftover butternut squash for my snack. Just waiting for Monday to be over...
5:30 p.m. — I'm out of work! When I get home, I check my mailbox and see a letter from my mom, who sent me a $25 Target gift card she wasn't planning on using. She is such a sweetheart and I feel like we've become extra close the last few years, which I love.
7 p.m. — I roast potatoes and a beet and listen to an old Drake album. While that's roasting, I prep cabbage salad for the week as well as more sunflower seed "milk." I make more vegan cheese with the leftover pulp and add it to my roasted potatoes. After dinner, I'm craving something sweet again, so I make hot cocoa with water, sugar, and cocoa powder.
Daily Total: $0
Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women's experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29's point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.
The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.
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Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here:r29.co/mdfaqs
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
We have a machinist from New Jersey to thank for the invention of modern-day glitter. In 1934, Henry Ruschmann devised a way to crush up plastic to produce large quantities of the shiny stuff. He created a manufacturing company — Meadowbrook Glitter — to double down on his brainchild and now, decades later, the brand is still a leading supplier of all things sparkly, making glitter for ink, textiles, beauty, and more.
Back in the '30s, the cosmetic world was just starting to wrap its pretty head around glitter and its endless possibilities. It wasn't until the 21st century that the stuff would graduate from a substance saved only for special occasions and costume parties to a finish used daily all over the globe.
Glitter technology has come a long way, too. Since the advent of self-adhering glitter, brushing on sparkles couldn't be easier — or less messy. Ahead, check out our favorite foolproof glitter eyeshadows that won't get in your tiles, clothes, and hair.
This high-impact shadow won Refinery29's Beauty Innovator Awards for a reason: The long-wearing formula is loaded with fine glitter that dries down to a budge-proof finish. (Drag queens love it, too, and they know their shit.)
There's a shade in Urban Decay's collection of glitter liners for everyone, whether you're looking for silver, purple, pink, or gold. We love wearing it solo or layering it over other liners for a more graphic effect.
Hate loose glitter with a burning passion? Try Lemonhead's SpacePastes instead. The finger-friendly creams are loaded with a mix of fine and chunky particles and once they're set, they're not transferring onto anything.
We like to think of this glitter gel as a gateway drug into more intense glitters. It'll set you back just $1 and comes in five wearable shades. There's one caveat, though: Unlike some of the other shadows in this roundup, this one doesn't last too long on its own, so we suggest laying a primer down underneath to improve wear-time.
Not sure how intense you want to go? Reach for one of Revlon's new PhotoReady Eye Arts. The double-sided tubes hold a metallic liquid shadow on one end and a glittery gel on the other. Both of the shades can be worn solo or mixed and matched for custom looks.
One swipe of this E.L.F. gel provides a sheer veil of sparkle, but two or three will take you into high-shine territory. Just make sure to let each layer dry before going in for more.
When Alice Little, a legal sex worker, gave Refinery29 a peek at her life in the form of a Money Diary last year, the post received more than 300 comments. People wanted to know how Little got into this line of work and what she studied in school, and they wanted to get to know her more as a person.
"I was struck by how much I felt like I could easily be friends with this girl, despite the vast differences in our careers," one reader commented.
Needless to say, it was clear that people harbored preconceptions about sex work. But they were fascinated by Little's life, and what it really means to be a "legal" sex worker in the United States. There are many types of sex work, but prostitution, specifically, is illegal in most of the U.S. This isn't the case in Nevada, however, where prostitution was legalized in 1971 (albeit with restrictions).
Currently, prostitution is regulated in registered brothels in smaller counties in the state — meaning, cities like Las Vegas and Reno are excluded. One such registered brothel is the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, made famous by the HBO series Cathouse. This is where Little works, and it's where she was working last year when she chronicled her life for Refinery29. At the time, she was earning upwards of $10,000 per week, reading the book Sex At Dawn, and dealing with an emergency appendectomy — without health insurance.
It's been a year since then, and people are still asking us about Little. So, we caught up with her to hear more about her life, and what she's been up to.
*This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What's happened since the Money Diary was published last year?
"My appendix finally, finally healed up. It ended up putting me out of work for two months, and I was finally cleared by my doctors to work again. So, when I was finally able to come back to work, I had all those rescheduled appointments, so everything had a waterfall effect. It was the busiest month I'd ever had — and the most successful month I’ve ever had. I was not only the highest booking lady, I was also the most requested lady at the Ranch.
"I’ve also switched to just doing appointments only, so I can focus a little bit more on my appointments and spending time with those individuals, rather than having to worry about line up, which has been incredible."
What has your career path been like?
"I’ve done a lot of different jobs over the years, everything from being an EMT to a massage therapist — generally very customer-focused jobs.
"Before [the Bunny Ranch], I was a national sex educator, presenting across the country at different BDSM events. My interested in [BDSM] started pretty much with my first relationship. I tried to tie one of my partners up without really knowing what I was doing, realized I didn’t have a single clue, and so I started the education process from there. First, it was watching videos online, then practicing on myself, learning all the intricate knots and the different techniques, and learning about consent culture that comes along with BDSM. Consent, as you can imagine, is super, super important when it comes to those activities. You have to make sure everyone really knows what they’re buying into."
How did you hear about Bunny Ranch?
"One of my friends through one of those events had started to work at Bunny Ranch. At first, I was a little bit skeptical. I kept asking, 'Hey are you happy? Are you exploited in any way?' But she said, 'No, this is incredible, you have to come check it out.' And it had always been something in the back of my mind. I had watched the HBO show and actually had a huge admiration for Airforce Amy. She just came off as this incredibly confident woman and was quite unapologetic about owning her sexuality.
"So, I started in the winter of 2015 with the intention of seeing if it would be a good fit. And I found it to be the most incredible job. It allowed me to not just interact with people, but to generally help them when it came to sex and relationships and intimacy.
"I’ve been at Bunny Ranch for two years now, and I’ve consistently been considered the top booker. It’s my mission to make connections with people and better their sex lives and their relationships — it’s what consumes me. What can I learn, what more can I do for my clients, how can I better connect with them? What’s the newest thing? For example, when it comes to sex toys, I recently paired up with the Alexander Institute just so I could have a higher quality sex toy conversation with my clients."
Tell me about your first "party."
"I was so super nervous, having never been in that environment before. The bell rings for the first time and they call for the lineup, which is where all the available ladies line up in the parlor and introduce ourselves by name. After we introduce ourselves, the clients have the opportunity to pick a lady, go on a tour, and go back to our rooms. So, it was my very first day, and my very first lineup, and I end up getting picked, which I was not expecting. Thankfully, all the new women are paired with a more experienced lady to act as a big sister, and we proceeded with the negotiation and it was easier than I expected it to be.
"I took to it fish-to-water style, and I was like, Oh, I like this; oh, I really like this. This is kind of incredible; I’m really loving the connection that I’m making with people. From there, I of course had sex with a stranger for the first time in my life, and it wasn’t awkward. It was actually enjoyable. The guy ended up becoming a regular, and I saw him for a couple of months and we would joke about it — you caught me my first time; how funny, I was so nervous about it.
"When I first started, I really wasn’t familiar with what men want. That’s your opportunity to really have a conversation about what they want. By the way, I really hate the word negotiation. I always prefer to call it a conversation, because it’s not just an opportunity for us to get to know each other and talk to each other about what we want to do, but it’s our opportunity as well to figure out what it was that they’re trying to accomplish by being here. At first, I thought it was just about sex. I thought they would want to just come in, get in, get off, get out, and be done with it. But that’s not the reality at all. A lot of people are coming in here for companionship. They want to get to know me and not just see me as a sexual object. They want to go out to breakfast and ask about my life and ask about my opinions on a variety of topics."
Are there some people who are looking to "get in, get off, get out," as you put it?
"There are! There is definitely still a desire for that and I still have clients that enjoy that sort of scenario, but I have noticed more of a trend for dates and overnights, which are the experiences I look forward to the most. It’s the opportunity to get to know someone not just in the bedroom but outside the bedroom, too.
"So, what I was talking about in my negotiations started to change. At the beginning, it may have been, 'Oh, what kind of positions are you interested in?' And it started to turn into, 'What kind of hobbies do you have? What have you always wanted to do, but have never been able to experience?' And through that language shift, I started to attract different men, and not just men. I started to see women and couples. I found that, through those conversations, I was ending up more financially successful, too."
What did you learn about negotiating that other people in other fields can learn from?
"I think the biggest mistake that people make during negotiations is that they treat it as a me vs. them scenario. In reality, we’re trying to find something that works for the both of us. When you take that combative element out of negotiation, and you take that pressure away, you end up having a more successful conversation and everyone walks away with it not just happier but feeling better about what they’ve done."
Can you describe what your typical client experience is like?
"Once someone sets up an appointment with me, it allows me to figure out what we want to do together and put together an amazing experience for someone. For example, I just had a client who is vegan, so I was able to get us reservations at a wonderful vegan restaurant; we had an amazing, amazing time, and afterwards we ended up going to the arcade at Circus, Circus to just hang out and have fun and just enjoy each other. They mentioned afterward that they had never been to an arcade with a girl before, and it was probably their favorite date ever. They’ve gotten to travel the world, seen plays, and yet they cite a simple arcade as one of their favorite dates. It’s kind of amazing."
How did you come up with that idea?
"I asked myself, 'What’s a good activity that two people can do together?' rather than an activity that two people can, say, watch together. I always advise against [dates] where you don’t get to talk to the other person during it. So, for example, a very common first date people think of is let’s go to the movies. The problem is that you’re watching a movie; you’re not getting to know the other person. And the only thing you talk about is this superficial thing you just watched — the movie — and you totally skip over the real conversations that matter.
"So, I tend to gravitate towards experiential-type dates: things like sledding, or horseback-riding, things that are more than just looking at what’s on a screen."
It sounds like what you’re offering is more like a girlfriend experience.
"Absolutely. It’s not just about sex — it’s everything but the sex. The sex is assumed; you know the sex is going to happen, so why put a focus on something that is already given? Instead, let’s put a focus on everything but the sex: who we are, how can we connect, what do we have in common. I think that’s what makes me a little bit different from the other ladies, and by proxy what makes me more successful."
Can you talk about what you typically charge for a date?
"Due to how Nevada brothel law works, they have to have differentiators from 'illegal' type of sex work. One of those differentiators is the ability to quote prices. Nevada law is written in such a way that the only place we can talk specifics when it comes to time, activity, and cost is at the ranch. So, what people will do is they’ll set up appointments in advance and they’ll say, 'Hey, I want to see you this day, this is kind of what I want to do.' And I’ll have them put down 10% of their expected budget, so this way I have an idea of what they’re thinking. From there, I can figure out, Okay, these are what our possibilities look like within that range.
"I can say the combination of time plus activity tends to be the easiest formula, but I always work with the individual. For example, I offer discounts for those who are public servants — anyone who is a police officer, a retired service member, an EMT, a doctor, or a nurse. I’ve worked as an EMT myself, so I really value the good that they do in society, and it’s my way of being able to give back. So, a lot of it is circumstantial.
"Keeping in mind that we’re not legally able to quote prices in any capacity, the only thing I can say is that experiences range anywhere from four figures up, depending on how long we spend together."
So the industry is very regulated.
"It’s incredibly regulated. In order to work at the ranch we have to visit the doctor every single week, and once a year we have to obtain what is literally a prostitution card from the Sheriff’s Office. We have to go complete a background check and a fingerprint check to receive a card that allows us to work that next year. The cost varies by county, and it changes so often, but it’s reasonable — it’s usually in the three figures, $100 or $200.
"I’m perfectly okay with the fact that the house takes 50% because that 50% is paying the bartenders, the cashiers, the door people, the maids, the PR team, and it’s an infrastructure. I’m very, very comfortable with that. I feel like I’m getting my money’s worth — I have a safe, legal place to work, and I have warm food and fresh meals prepared. It’s very, very nice. There is a lot of justification for that particular expense."
What would you say is the most difficult part of the job?
"People don’t understand how much stigma there really is around what I do for a living. It’s everything from going to get my hair or my nails done, someone asking me where I work and refusing me service. For example, with my appendicitis, I found out that I had gone to the hospital two years ago, I had appendicitis, but the doctor would not acknowledge my pain. He was convinced that it was an ovarian cyst or something, because of what I do for a living. So, I had to live with appendicitis for the past two years, without realizing it, ignoring all the little mini flare ups, and thank goodness I was able to catch it before the appendix ruptured. Because of stigma, I could have potentially died, because the doctor was unwilling to acknowledge the fact that I could possibly have something seriously wrong.
"Stigma factors into where I live, in the sense that I want to make sure that my neighbors won’t take issue with it, or my landlord not recognizing it as a valid career and not wanting to give me a place to live, simply based off the job. It’s having to change my bank account. I recently discovered that my money is not safe in a national bank. I cannot bank through a national bank and have my money be secure, because it’s not a nationally recognized profession; they could freeze my account at any moment. So, I had to switch to a credit union instead. And of course having to switch banks is going to affect where I’m able to get loans from.
"So, it’s a lot of those things that make it incredibly complex. It’s not the job that makes it hard. It’s the stigma. It hurts to be devalued, and have what you’re so passionate about be treated as this awful and terrible thing."
You mentioned in the comments section of your Money Diary that you have several different degrees, and you want to pursue even more. What’s your plan for the future?
"In five or 10 years, I want to develop a more tangible form of sex education for America — complete sex education, not just abstinence. I want to provide what everyone is missing. In high school, no one talks about anything other than, Okay, boys have these body parts, girls have these body parts. I want to be that person who is able to provide education, so I really see myself moving into an education advocacy role, and you’ll probably see that in the form of YouTube videos, podcasts, books, tangible tools that people can use to educate themselves.
"Additionally, I really see myself being a voice and advocate for legalized sex work. What we have here in Nevada works. Why don’t we take the Nevada model and translate that to California, and Utah, and Ohio, and bring it to us as a nation?
"I have several different degrees, and I’m pursuing additional continued education. I plan to re-enroll in classes this spring. Right now, I have degrees in psychology, sociology, physiology, and anatomy; this year, my big goal is to pursue a human sexuality degree. They’re all associates and bachelor degrees for now, and eventually my goal is to marry them all together and essentially make my own doctoral program that would allow me to be a doctorate specifically of sex work. That’s truly what I’m most interested in: How does sex work positively affect the economy, the lives of the women who work there, the lives of the people who visit these ranches? How does it affect the national STD rate?"
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