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11 Magic Kits For Lazy Witches

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Throughout the ages, the pursuit of witchcraft was never really known for ease or convenience. First, there was all that foraging for rare herbs and ingredients — eye of newt, hemlock, liver of a blaspheming Jew (that one was used in the witches’ brew recipe for Shakespeare’s Macbeth). Then there was the secrecy: In the past, those who practiced magic lived in the broom closet, afraid of the consequences of being associated with Satan. And of course, there were the witch hunts, usually ending in a trail by fire or water.

Anyway, times have changed. Unlike back in the ancient days of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, witches like Willow Rosenberg don’t need to hole up in a musty school library located over a hellmouth or a weird shop called The Magic Box that only monsters and high school kids visit. Now, Urban Outfitters sells sage bundles and spell books. There are apps for identifying herbs and tracking moon phases — for iPhone and Android. Today’s multitasking, information-age witches don’t have time for picking wild agrimony and collecting root bark, or for hiding their favorite tricks of the trade.

Yeah, we called you a lazy witch. Luckily, these enchanting all-in-one spell kits are like the Blue Apron of sorcery. Inside are all the ingredients you need to manifest your wishes, minus the hassle. Ahead, simply unbox and make a little magic.

Open Window Spell Kit
Even if you KonMari the crap out of your home, it may still require metaphysical decluttering. This kit cleanses your space of stagnant air, couch potato vibes, and any vestigial winter doldrums: Light the sage and let purifying smoke waft into every nook. (Use the pretty abalone shell to catch ashes before they hit the floor.) Take a moment to visualize flinging open your window on the first spring day, then liberally mist your space with the potion made from essential oils and gem essences. Light the refreshing, minty candle. Optional: Announce, “this house is clean!" like psychic Tangina Barrons in the original Poltergeist.

Love Crystal Set
This carefully selected group of crystals isn’t going to force anyone into an unnatural obsession with you. (Proof: Bearded male model Josh Mario John still feels nothing for me.) But maybe, just maybe, you can get them to more reliably answer your text messages. Working with citrine is associated with attracting abundance, moonstone calms emotional stress, carnelian boosts courage, amethyst brings balance, and rose quartz opens up the heart. It’s a good combination for encouraging the law of attraction to do its thing without trying too hard.

Metatron’s Cube Crystal Grid
To display your crystals somewhere appropriately chic and powerful, try a blackened birch grid engraved with sacred geometry. Metatron’s cube is made up of 13 identical circles with lines from the center extending out to the centers of rest of the circles. It creates all five Platonic Solids (3D shapes from which everything on earth is made). Placing crystals at points of contact is believed to amplify and channel their energy toward manifesting your desires. Or you could use it as a pretty serving tray for pizza. It works either way.

Black Moon Protection Salt
Ever wish you could step inside a circle of protection whenever bad energy strikes? Packed with negativity-repelling black tourmaline dust, coal, and pink sea salt, this blend is the frothing guard dog of magical elements. Sprinkle it under your bed (bogeyman), in the doorway of your office space (work stress), or use in rituals to banish and protect against bad juju. Consider giving it to a teenage niece or little sister before a sleepover — they’d be smart not to play the Midnight Game without it.

Money Draw Starter Kit
When rent is due, your car’s fuel injection pump needs replacing, and your cat just puked on the rug for the sixth time, who could blame you for trying to draw a little extra cash your way? This kit is stocked with prosperity-attracting gemstones, a citrine-spiked soy candle to use in your ritual, and a green aventurine bracelet — all the elements you need to manifest lottery winnings. (Or at the very least, an offer from someone who can loan you a few bucks until payday. Likely known as “Mom”.)

A Healthy Little Push Little Spell Kit
If your mantra is “I’ll start on Monday,” this witchy kick in the pants might be just what you need to break out of your rut. The cheerful box contains a thorough 16-page workbook to help you focus your intentions, plus everything you need — down to gloves and glitter — to carve a personalized ritual candle, and a daily meditation to keep you on track. You’ve got this.

Golden Life Box of Spell for Courage, Ambition, Strength & Manifestation
Sometimes, you don’t feel as awesome about yourself as you should. Whether social anxiety has you hiding under the covers or you’re suffering from imposter syndrome at work, this all-in-one manifestation kit harnesses the energy of gold so you can shine. The precious metal is known for purifying the spirit and boosting luck, confidence, and power. Also included are tips on using the gold candle, chamomile, and clarity-boosting frankincense, clear quartz, and feather, plus a how-to for your ritual.

Releasing Spell Kit
Pining away over an ex. Insta-stalking your pseudo-famous archnemesis. Ruminating over the embarrassing email you accidentally sent to the entire staff. Obsessive thinking like this is more dangerous than it seems. Its repetitive nature only reinforces the importance of that inner chatter, and you can’t get that time and energy back. This releasing spell will help you snap out of it: Mist the room with white sage smudge spray, then light the sage stick and candle. As the candle flickers, hold the Himalayan pink salt crystal. Visualize your negativity being soaked in by the crystal, and you shining in a pyramid of positive white light.

Ancestors Handmade Ritual Candle
This earth-colored soy candle — spelled by a professional priestess in Portland, OR — is imbued with sweetgrass, tobacco, Leidberg's Stonecrop Flower Essences, and frankinsence essential oil, and poured over a golden obsidian gemstone. It’s meant to be used as a conduit to connect with our ancestors. Light it in memory of a grandparent who has passed, to tap into the wisdom of ancient man (who incidentally were huge fans of obsidian, and used it to make Stone Age tools), or find solace in the timeless bond with all those who preceded you. When the candle has burned away, keep the obsidian stone as a talisman.

Sabbat Box
There truly is a subscription box for everything, even Pagan holidays. The wheel of the Pagan year has eight sabbats — Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lammas, Mabon, Samhain, and Yule — so instead of being delivered monthly, boxes stuffed with Wiccan supplies arrive seven to 10 days before each celebration. You’re cutting it too close for Ostara (March 20) this year, so try to do Beltane (May 1) right.The limited kits fly off shelves quickly; if you're wait-listed, you can still order all the elements à la carte. Last year’s Beltane kit contained ritual jasmine green tea, Beltane, Rituals, Recipes & Lore for May Day by Llewellyn, spell candles infused with sandalwood and ginger, an essential oil blend for inspiring passion, stick incense, hand-painted incense holders, and a parchment Wiccan calendar.

Dorothy Morrison's Curse Conjuring Coffin
Not all witches are good witches, so, for fans of Black Phillip, here’s a peek into the dark side. This limited edition hex comes in a miniature coffin signed and numbered by author Dorothy Morrison, who claims to be a Third Degree Wiccan High Priestess of the Georgian Tradition and a direct descendent of William the Conqueror. Inside, there’s a mini poppet, a three-inch pin for jabbing it, a bottle of It Sucks To Be You! oil, and a packet of graveyard dirt. The curse involves stuffing the poppet with a slip of paper naming your victim, filler, and graveyard dirt; sprinkling it with oil; then repeatedly stabbing it. Just one caveat: "Dorothy's shit works—that's why we carry it,” says Angry Cauldron owner Joey Matthews. “Don't use this unless you seriously want to mess someone up.”



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