Without a doubt, dating in 2016 is an art form. If you’re single and looking for love, you know where the scene is. It’s online. (Unless you’ve made it onto The Bachelor, in which case, bravo.) But whether you’ve been on 100 Tinder dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There's such a grand variety of dating apps to choose from — where do you even begin?While there is no official handbook or rule guide, most dating apps operate more or less the same way. You download the app, create a profile, add some of your favorite pictures, and write a short bio. If you make a match, you can commence Instagram- or Facebook-stalking to learn more — at least that’s what we do.
We're here to help you with that first step: Figuring out which dating app is worth your homescreen space in the first place. There's no reason you should have to do all that leg work when we can do it for you. So, each month we'll test drive the latest dating apps and report back on what's worth your time.
Ready to find your match?
The App: Raya
The Pitch: "An exclusive dating and networking platform for people in creative industries."
Our Experience: Unlike most dating apps, Raya screens applicants through their Instagram account before rejecting or accepting them into the app. Based on their Instagram presence (and referrals from existing users) an anonymous committee votes on whether to let you in or not. Sounds kind of brutal, huh? So, why all this screening you might ask? The goal is to create a niche where like-minded people can connect.
Raya is serious about this vetting process — which makes the app quite exclusive. Since launching in March, it has been known as the dating app for celebs. According to Page Six, spotted Raya users include Joe Jonas, Kelly Osbourne, Moby, and that new SNL cast member...So if you get in, always swipe right! (PSA: Be careful. If you’re caught leaking pictures or screen grabs of app users, they’ll kick you right off!) But (there's always a but), Raya doesn't come cheap. Accepted users have to pay $8 a month. In my opinion — totally worth it.
Raya's premise and design differs a bit from most other dating apps. To kick-start your profile, you have to choose a song and then curate a slideshow to go along with it. When making my profile, I chose Carly Simon's classic, "You're So Vain." Conversation starter, right? They also show you who your mutual Instagram friends are. But since the app is known for its exclusivity, there aren't that many people on it. Running into my brother as I was swiping felt kind of funny, until I saw his bio: "I'm a guy with a big, throbbing vocabulary. I like girls with tight, neat grammar." When I confronted him about it, demanding that he change it immediately, he responded with, "What! It was a really popular Whisper post!"
Overall, I love Raya. You never know who's going to be on there! But if you don't make the app's rigorous selection process, no stress — there are plenty of other options for meeting boys and girls with your phone.
The App: Happn
The Pitch: "Find the people you've crossed paths with."
Our Experience: See someone you like on the street? Are you always on the same train as him or her, but never had a chance (er, the bravery) to chat them up? Let Happn help you out.
Like Tinder, Happn connects to Facebook for your basic information, pictures, and to be able to tell you if you have mutual friends with someone you've liked. From there, it works like this: You scroll through the app and if you see someone you like, you can heart them. If they heart you back, voila. It's a match and you're both notified.
However, you also have the option to "charm" them. This is a feature most dating apps do not have and allows you to let someone know that you like them, even if they haven't liked you back...yet. You receive a "charm sent" notification and if the receiver does not send a charm back within 24 hours, you get your charm back. For females, the app is completely free. But, for men, sending charms is going to cost you.
Where the app gets its namesake is its location awareness. A profile will have "now" written up at the top when you are crossing paths with that person within 250 meters (see train cutie above). I am a fan of the proximity factor, because chances are you'll have more in common with the stranger that frequents the coffee shop by your apartment than the guy who lives two hours away. From what I can tell, it's got a decently wide pool of users (here in New York, at least), so even if you've seen that passerby a dozen times, you won't be stumbling on their profile every time you open the app.
The App:Double
The Pitch:"Don't date alone. Take a friend!"
Our Experience: This app is brand-spanking-new, making its New York launch just before Valentine's Day. As its name would suggest, Double is an app for double dating. You can double up with a friend and your profiles will appear side by side. Then, instead of browsing for one potential match, you're looking at two. You and your wingwoman choose a couple together, using the same swipe left or swipe right navigation we are all too familiar with. If your pairs make a match, then you enter a group chat. From there, you all can decide whether or not a double date is in the cards.
Double aims to take out the awkwardness and stress that seems to be synonymous with first dates, because this way, you go with the support of your friend. Going on a date with a pal makes the whole situation much more comfortable — and safer — and much more likely to actually happen. And despite being brand-new, when I signed up, I already had four friends using the app in NYC.
One thing that was slightly confusing was the matching process. When scrolling through prospective bachelors, the app shows you two side-by-side. (In the same way as it shows my profile next to my friend Zara's.) If I click to X one, both are technically swiped left, and vice versa. What if I like one of the guys, but not the other? Then what? And if I only liked one of the two guys paired together, chances are my friend will, too. So, then what? Do I convince my friend to take one for the team and go on a double date with me even if she doesn't like her match? And then there's the general issue of who gets who once you do actually meet your matching pair. (As it turns out, it only takes one person from each pair to like the other for a match to be made.)
Since the app is still so new, I haven't quite figured it out yet. But my "doubler" and I were just matched with another duo, so we'll update you on how it goes.
The App: Tinder
The Pitch: "Friends, dates, relationships, and everything in-between."
Our Experience: With Tinder, you create a profile that is connected to your Facebook account. Tinder will never post anything on your behalf, but it lets you know if you have any mutual friends with the bachelor or bachelorette on your screen. You can make the pool of applicants more manageable to sift through by filtering age, gender, and location. The trademark feature of Tinder is how you go through matches by swiping right or left to like or pass (but you can also Super Like with the blue star on the far right).
The thing with Tinder is this: It feels like a game and matches come in quick. Once you match, if you decide to utilize the messaging feature (which everyone does), it turns into an exercise in creative writing. Due to the nature of online dating, my experience and the experiences of my friends has led me to believe that "Hey, what's up?" isn't going to get a response. You need something catchy from the get-go, a conversation starter. Openers that work: "Does your onesie come in other colors?""Do you have any free time this weekend to babysit my poodle?""What a funny group of mutual friends we have!"
If all goes smoothly, you might get to level two, which I call "exchanging numbers." Now the conversation has moved from a carefree flirtation in your Tinder inbox to an actual name and number in your address book. After that, it's pretty standard procedure. You aggressively stalk his or her social media accounts and then decide if level three, meeting IRL, is worth it.
There's a reason thatTinder is the dating app du jour; it's tried-and-true. The app boasts ten million matches to date and a high school friend of mine counts herself as one of the successes in that bunch. (She met her fiancé on Tinder about three years ago, one thing led to another, and their wedding is in April. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!) If you're a Facebook user and haven't tried it yet, it's worth some experimental swipes.
The App: Bumble
The Pitch: "We're changing the rules of the game."
Our Experience: Bumble is the Sadie Hawkins dance of the dating-app world; if a match happens, the only way to chat is if the girl makes the first move. Conversations begin on her terms and hers alone. If the female doesn't say anything within 24 hours of connecting with someone, that person disappears and the connection is lost. If a connection with someone of the same sex is made, each has one day to spark a conversation before the connection is deleted. If the 24-hour mark is approaching without a message, matches can request another 24 hours.
It's definitely an ego boost thinking, Ha, he is waiting by his phone for me to text him and there's nothing he can do about it! (We watch a lot of He's Just Not That Into You rom-coms around here, so it's nice to envision the tables turned.)
Another fun Bumble feature is backtracking. Say you by mistake swiped left or right too soon — no worries! Just shake your phone and it'll take you to the previous profile.
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