We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the Brangelina.
For as long as I have cared about Hollywood couples, I have cared the deepest about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship. I'm not one to glorify cheaters (cough — Pitt), but I'll be damned if someone ever tries to tell me that they were not one of the most amazing couples of the last decade. But now the golden threads tying together Brangelina have been severed, and I'm shook.
I first saw them together in Mr. and Mrs. Smith the week it premiered. I was 13 and going to see my first PG-13 movie with my grandma (questionable choice). I knew Pitt from his con-man character in Ocean's Eleven and was enamored with his confidence and ability to eat any food and still look hot. I knew Jolie from Girl, Interrupted, a film that made me equally terrified and fascinated by her character and her ability to own an entire scene with just one droopy-eyed look. I feel like we, along with everyone else in the theater (and the world), knew that we were witnessing two of the coolest, edgiest, and most glamorous actors fall in love before our eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Smith immediately became my favorite movie, and they my favorite couple.
Perfection is not a word to be used lightly, but it must be used to describe the peak of their relationship. Not only was their chemistry out of this world, but they also formed a gigantic family together, supported each other through medical surprises, created films together, traveled the world together, and got better-looking each and every year. But perfection is an illusion that is impossible to maintain. I wish that they each were satisfied with "good enough," but they obviously strive for more for themselves and their children.
There are only a handful of couples who can announce a divorce and cause as many ripples as Brangelina have in the past 24 hours. They were aloof but still seemed warm. They were A-list movie stars but still went to Rite Aid. They were attentive parents but still oozed sex appeal. They were the Last Great Hollywood Couple.
Their relationship is (was) like nothing else in Hollywood, and that's what makes the divorce so hard to stomach. If Mr. and Mrs. Smith could try to literally assassinate each other with guns, knives, poison, and explosives, then how come Mr. and Mrs. Pitt can't just talk it out?
For my sake?
I am accepting condolences in the form of nostalgic red carpet pictures of the couple, copies of Mr. and Mrs. Smith on DVD, and Team Brangelina shirts.
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