Summer may technically be a few days away, but our brains are in full-on vacation mode. We think our sex lives should follow suit. Even if you don't have an actual trip in the works, warm weather and (hopefully) a lighter work schedule provide opportunities to inject vacation-style sex — relaxed, adventurous, and playful — into your daily life.
"When people get away from their everyday responsibilities, they can focus on their pleasurable needs, which include sexuality," sex therapist Sari Cooper has told Refinery29. "If they are able to 'unplug' from their smartphones...they can get back to being more creative, both in and out of the bedroom."
Stepping away from your phone is just one tactic for enjoying summer sex. Adding water is another — whether in a pool, hot tub, lake, ocean, or simply your shower. Pour yourself a glass of something cold and put on some Ella Fitzgerald. Then, click through for more ways to pursue your pleasure this season, whether you're traveling or enjoying the comfort of your own bed.
You don't need a partner to revitalize your sex life. Set aside a weekend afternoon to rediscover your body — or the fact that you even have a body underneath the layers of clothing that got you through the winter.
Take the time to set the mood, because why not? Put on the playlist you normally only listen to when you're sharing your bed, wear something that turns you on, even light a candle. Even (especially?) if you've got your masturbation routine down, remember that your clit is not your only erogenous zone. Touch your neck, nipples, ears, wherever a partner might. And if you've never used lube during solo sex, trust us: It makes a difference. Try massaging a quarter-sized dollop around your clit and inner labia before you get down to business.
If you'd like to go all-out with your self-love, commit to our 30-Day Masturbation Challenge and treat yourself to a new toy — check out these recommendations to jump-start your shopping process.
You may be groaning, but this point deserves emphasis: Nothing kills the mood and makes you feel less like you're on vacation than the buzz of a text from your mom or the ping of an email from your boss.
Even if you and your partner aren't going anywhere, pick a weekend — or a single afternoon if an entire weekend feels too daunting — and declare it a no-phone zone. Focus on each other and what you're doing and feeling in the moment, including during sex. This habit can also be instated in bite-size pieces throughout the week: Think about what you typically do when you walk in the door after a long day at work and greet your partner. Do you pull up Seamless? Fire up Netflix? "Yes, I know there's always something to attend to when you get home," San-Francisco-based sex therapist Vanessa Marin has told us. "But so many couples leave quality time and intimacy until the very end of the night, when they're completely exhausted and already dreading not getting enough sleep for the next day. There's simply no energy left to have any sort of connection, let alone to have sex."
The solution: Dedicate the first 20 minutes after you get home every day to cuddling, touching, and talking with your partner; then order your pad Thai, start Game of Thrones, or do whatever else it is you need to do. Those 20 minutes don't need to lead directly to sex (although they can, especially because you're more likely to feel sluggish after dinner than before). The implicit message you and your partner will be sending each other — that you are each other's priority — will do wonders to build intimacy over time.
Even if you have to rush off to work afterward, starting the day with a hookup can make you feel like you're on vacation — or like you've already made it to the weekend, because that's when daytime sex usually happens. Set your alarm just 20 minutes earlier than usual (or skip your a.m. gym session just this once; you have our permission) and indulge before heat and humidity reduce you to a puddle. Better yet, make your morning routine do double-duty with a little shower sex. We all know safe sex is the best sex, so snag a cute bath mat and and a suction handle to avoid slipping. Keep in mind that water increases condoms' risk of failing, so if you need contraception, rely on another form if possible. And because water-based lubes wash away in the shower, if you need some extra moisture down there, reach for a silicone-based lube such as Trojan's Riviera.
Underwater sex — in a hot tub, pool, lake, or ocean — is a summer trademark, but know the risks before you dive in. It's always possible that hooking up in a public body of water could give you a bacterial infection, since bacteria that's harmless when it contacts your skin can be less so when introduced to your vagina or anus. And in underwater sex, as with shower sex, water-based lube isn't going to work — so opt for silicone instead. If you do need to use a condom, ensure that it fits perfectly over the dildo or penis, and don't take it off until you're on dry land.
In the words of sex therapist Sari Cooper, "When you’re in the mindset of exploring a new place, that translates into exploring new types of sexuality." You don't have to be at an exotic destination for your sex life to benefit from new scenery: Something as minor as moving the action to the kitchen counter or living room floor can dramatically up the appeal. And there's no better time than summer for outdoor sex, but pick your location with care: Every state's laws are different, and you do not want to get charged with a lewd act or indecent exposure. So think more "side of the trail during a hike" than "in the bushes at your local park." Bring blankets to place both below and on top of you, so that you have plausible deniability if you are somehow spotted.
"Switching it up" can also mean incorporating new positions to your routine. Check out our position how-to here or explore the source material in Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex. With info on everything from anal play to BDSM, it's sure to give you some ideas.
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