If there’s one thing those Goths In Hot Weather memes have taught us, it’s that head-to-toe black gets trickier to pull off as the temperature rises. Still, it’s not impossible to stay true to your dark roots. Kiefer Sutherland’s teenage-vampire motorcycle gang had a good time at the beach in The Lost Boys, and so can you. Children of the night, gather your swimsuits and these 13 essentials. Here’s how to suck out every drop of life from this summer.
A Beach Tote With Personality
Artist Matthew Lineham’s cotton tote celebrating goth icon Siouxsie Sioux is perfect for stowing a beach day’s worth of supplies. At 15 by 15 inches, it’s got just enough room for cash, cards, sunscreen, keys, your phone, a water bottle, and the Necronomicon.
Matthew Lineham Saint Siouxsie Sioux Tote, $32, available at Fab.
A Fantasy Eye Palette
Any goth worth her Lolita frock will drink up limited-edition makeup based on Disney’s new Alice sequel. The oversized pop-up palette is stuffed with 20 new shadows. Each main character has a column — Alice’s soft pinks and blues, Mad Hatter’s vibrant brights, White Queen’s frosty tones, Red Queen’s intense ones, and Time’s evening-glam metallics. Use colors from one column for a no-fail fantasy look, or make your own mix.
Urban Decay Alice Through the Looking Glass palette, $60, available at Urban Decay.
Ouija-Board Sunnies
If there’s any chance you’re the unwitting star of a horror movie, you shouldn’t try these on, just in case evil truly is in the eye of the beholder. Otherwise, they’re a pretty fun accessory — the spooky Ouija imagery even glows in the dark.
Lindsay Lowe Sunglasses, $64.99, available at Lindsay Lowe.
Hardcore Pallor Protection
This sunscreen uses zinc and titanium to protect skin from the sun’s enemy rays. Plus, it has soothing aloe vera and natural antioxidants like cranberry, hemp, and goji to block skin-aging free radicals.
Let It Block Goth Block Sunscreen SPF 50, $14.99, available at Let It Block.
Bomb Lip Balm
Go faux cannibal with this skull-shaped balm. It tastes like mint, and soothes chapped lips with coconut and almond oils and vitamin E. Plus, the bottom is embossed with a Hamlet quote, so you can educate as you hydrate.
Rebels Refinery Capital Vices Skull Lip Balm, $8, available at Rebels Refinery.
A Hat For Throwing Shade
You might recognize NYC designer Zana Bayne’s dominatrix leather gear from Beyoncé’s Super Bowl slayformance of “Formation.” With a black straw base, leather-lined exterior, and peculiar peephole, this hat protects your frowning face from UV rays while still leaving room for side-eye.
Zana Bayne Side-Eye Hat, $550, available at Zana Bayne.
A Formidable Pool Accessory
The white-swan pool float everyone fell in love with last summer? Well, this big-ass black swan is here to scare the crap out of it and all of its matching little floating drink holders, too.
Big Mouth Inc. Giant Black Swan Pool Float, $30, available at Nordstrom.
Supernatural Skin
Vampires don't sweat. To set makeup and absorb the midday shine of an average mortal, use a swipe of translucent pressed powder in a Ouija-board planchette.
Lunatick Cosmetic Labs Mystifying Mattifying High Definition Microfinish Pressed Powder, $20, available at Lunatick Cosmetic Labs.
Pore-Clearing Soap
This gritty bar has volcanic ash from Iceland's geothermal lava fields to remove sweat and grime, antibacterial sulfur to keep skin clear, and it smells like a fire burning in the distance (not a piña colada).
Halló Sápa Icelandic Volcanic Ash Soap, $7, available at Beautyhabit.
#Healthgoth Gear
Where better to do your moon salutations than this non-slip mat, hand-drawn by a South Australian yogi named Brad? One side features a lunar-cycle design — flip it over to reveal the savasana coffin design for all your corpse-pose needs.
Baphomats Coffin Yoga Mat, $52.91, available at Etsy.
A Killer Manicure
Pretty and vicious. As an homage to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, these nail wraps mix the romance of the Jane Austen novel (pastel-blue brocade) with the bodily fluids of the undead (blood spatter).
NCLA Dangerous Darlings Nail Wraps, $14, available at NCLA.
Sea-Witch Flair
Nautical style isn’t all anchors and stripes. Under the sea, there’s a lot of beauty and mystery. And creatures. Terrifying creatures.
Macabre Gadgets Coral Crown Ring, $220, available at Macabre Gadgets.
Blackened Ice Cream
Even the damned deserve a sweet summer treat. To that end, Morgenstern's Finest Ice Cream in New York City has added an ice cream as black as your soul to its menu. Made with charred coconut-shell ash, it tastes milky with a touch of coconut — and makes other black ice creams (black sesame, licorice) look like 50 shades of gray. As Spinal Tap ’s Nigel summed up so beautifully, “It's like, how much more black could this be and the answer is none. None more black.”
Morgenstern's Finest Ice Cream Coconut Ash Ice Cream Cone, $7, available at Morgenstern's.
Photo via @eko123987.
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