USA can cobble together entire Law & Order: SVU marathons around celebrity guest stars. Even Taylor Swift has been rumored to be joining their ranks. But Swift would likely play an innocent victim. Or possibly a mean roommate who doesn't know where Jessica is...okay , she's not her keeper.
Although Swift's character probably wouldn't wind up being be the perp, many celebs take on far creepier roles during their guest stints on SVU. They're the kind of characters that make you seriously consider switching the channel to something warmer and happier. Like C-SPAN. They are the unrepentant killers — those who, when presented with their crimes, laugh.
These are roles some of your favorite actors have played, forever making reruns seem more than a little unsettling. But they're also impressive performances that landed more than one celeb a guest-star Emmy nomination.
Mary Steenburgen: "Denial" Season 3, Episode 21 (2002)
Mary Steenburgen, an Oscar-winning actress who most recently appeared on The Last Man on Earth, was featured in an incredibly guest-star heavy episode (Estelle Parsons played her mother and Martha Plimpton played her daughter). Steenburgen's character was chillingly blasé about killing her two young children.
Sarah Paulson: "Shadow" Season 11, Episode 12 (2010)
Paulson, best known for her roles on The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story and American Horror Story, plays a chillingly unrepentant daughter who murdered her parents and attempts to have some members and friends of the SVU squad killed as well.
Martin Short: "Pure" Season 6, Episode 18 (2005)
The creep factor is always maxed out to 11 when the perp gives an evil speech with a smile. Martin Short plays a guy whose particular brand of evil is to sexually assault virgins. He's also an expert in facial expressions. I bet he sees "so horrified I have to sit down for a while" a lot.
James Van Der Beek: "Father Dearest" Season 13, Episode 20 (2012)
Van Der Beek's famous cry face looks charming compared to his coldly-considering-revenge face. His creep factor is actually increased by the lack of violence. He doesn't actually kill anyone, but prefers to mess with their loved ones' heads.
Photo: Courtesy of NBC Universal.
Jane Krakowski: "Bound" Season 5, Episode 24 (2004)
And mothers everywhere shuddered for days. Also, major props to Krakowski, who has been basically playing the same character (and killing it, mind you) since Ally McBeal, but obviously has tremendous range.
Photo: Courtesy of NBC Universal.Robin Williams: "Authority" Season 9, Episode 17 (2008)
Robin Williams plays one of the most sympathetic of this list's many unhinged individuals, dealing mostly in mind games (with only one murder, a lowball for the average SVU creep).
Ian Somerhalder: "Dominance" Season 4, Episode 20 (2003)
So pretty, and so, so scary.
Photo: Courtesy of NBC Universal.Carol Burnett: "Ballerina" Season 10, Episode 16 (2009)
Every time Burnett's black widow leaves a room, I feel like she has Nicki Minaj's "Itty Bitty Piggy" playing in her head. Not even a death sentence keeps her from plotting revenge.
John Stamos: "Bang" Season 12, Episode 22 (2011)
Uncle Jesse, why? This episode also has the best demise of the villain of the week — underwater explosives to the penis. Say it with me now (with a very different inflection) — "Have mercy. "
Photo: Courtesy of NBC Universal.Ethan Cutkosky: "Born Psychopath" Season 14, Episode 19 (2013)
Best known for playing a more lovably sadistic preteen on Shameless, Cutkosky plays the absolute last kid you'd want to babysit. Also, this scene — not the last straw for his parents.
Kal Penn: "Outsider" Season 8, Episode 12 (2007)
The creepiest manifestation of a need for recognition. Obviously, he missed the talk as a child about the difference between fame and infamy.
Photo: Courtesy of NBC Universal.Sarah Hyland: "Hothouse" Season 10, Episode 12 (2009)
To be fair, it's a lack of sleep that leads this character to have a psychotic (and murderous) break. But, "I'm number one now, aren't you happy for me?" will go down as one of the most shiver-inducing SVU lines.
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