Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX Shutterstock.
To relieve viewers of pretty much all taxing ontological questions they might have about each member of the squad — who are they, really?! — the cheerleaders are each given Breakfast Club-style designations in the opening credits. There's the brain, the terminator, the rebel, the stalker, the mastermind, and the virgin. I spent a significant part of the film wondering if the virgin was played by Alicia Silverstone. It's actually Rachel Blanchard, who played Cher in the short-lived Clueless TV series, so I was on to...something.
Sugar & Spice mixes every teen film you've ever seen with your favorite heist film: A pretty, popular, and pregnant head cheerleader named Diane (Marley Shelton) decides she needs to steal so she can pay for diapers and post-delivery designer jeans. The movie is told in flashbacks, narrated by Lisa (Marla Sokoloff), who is a bitter, second-string member of the cheer squad and the only truly cruel character in the film. Sitting in a police station, she explains how super-close the A squad is, so close that they all share a box of tampons for their synchronized cycle. (I always wondered, Do they all go in on one box, or switch off buying month-to-month?)
At the start of their senior year, Diane meets football player Jack (James Marsden, who had perfected the dreamy goofball a decade before marrying Liz Lemon) by back hand-springing into his face. And lo, young love is born. Soon, the two are off to homecoming, engaged and expecting. Bizarrely, their parents are ecstatic when they learn that their teenage children are getting married, but homicidal when informed they are going to be grandparents.
Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX Shutterstock.
In the Animal House-esque flash-forward credits, everyone gets exactly what they wanted, even Lisa. As "American Girl" plays, the film — and by extension, your teen years — seems airily pleasant. You wait for the other shoe to drop, for the teen father to cheat or a jealous member of the squad to blow their cover, but everyone really is a true team player in the end. Bring It On may be a better movie overall (okay, it is), but it's so rare these days to find a non-cynical bit of entertainment that doesn't drip with saccharine or... just totally suck. If Bring It On brings back memories of every little clique war you had to deal with in high school, Sugar & Spice will remind you of a time when anything, no matter how ridiculous, seemed possible.
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